Not everyone likes the same sex as I do. And not all of you will like the same type of sex as today’s guest poster. As we’ve discussed before, the brilliant thing about fantasy is that it allows you to explore things that would horrify you if they were actually real.
I like to host things by people who have different opinions and perspectives to me. This includes people who have jobs I don’t have, disagree with my opinions on foreplay or indulge in fantasies that aren’t specific turn-ons for me. Because there’s no bloody point in me banging my ‘everyone’s different’ drum if the only ever sex you read about on this blog is mine.
Today, Mimieux is going to talk about her penchant for Daddy/daughter role play, and why she finds older men compellingly hot. It’s hot, and it’s feisty, and it’s the sort of thing that may well offend some people. Before you start I’m going to assure you that a) both people involved in their relationship are well over 18 and b) she is deeply excited about sharing her fantasy with you.
Please don’t read if this is the sort of thing that offends you, or if you have difficulty drawing a line between fantasy and reality.
Fuck me harder, Daddy
For as long as I can remember, I’ve liked older, slightly twisted guys. It started when I was very young, and I always identified with the villain in the Disney films. I think it was something to do with the excellent songs they always had: seriously, go and listen to Be Prepared from The Lion King – what’s not to love? I think it’s also the gravelly, gritty voices. Jeremy Irons (who voices Scar, amongst other roles) is the perfect Daddy figure, in my eyes.
Before we carry on, I think it’s important to say that I don’t want to fuck my actual father, and that I’m aware that a lot of sexual abuse of young girls (and sons too) happens at the hands of a father, or a father figure. I am in no way condoning incest, just writing about my experiences of specific, safe, sane, roleplaying.
I knew things were a bit off when I read Lolita, and not only did I enjoy it, but I felt aroused by it. Totally depraved, but then… I like depraved things. I really do. Older guys have this thing that guys my own age (early 20s) don’t have. They have experience, not just sexual experience, but also life experience. I like the idea of discussing what’s worrying me with my partner, and getting a real, honest answer, something I don’t get with guys my own age. I also love to be pampered, and looked after. I love the idea of being Daddy’s little princess. I love that there’s a natural element of care with this dynamic: more protective, more nurturing than some of the other dominant/submissive dynamics I’ve seen on the London fetish scene. I’m not saying that these other dynamics aren’t caring, but they don’t hold the same allure for me as the Daddy idea does.
I think part of what it is, for me, is that it’s so incredibly wrong. And I’m a sick and twisted individual, but that’s what gets me off, in this case anyway. I’m a natural people pleaser (as well as a cruel sadist, but that’s another story) and I just love the idea of Daddy coming all over my face, down my throat, or even in my long, then greeny/blue hair. I also like to play a bit naïve sometimes, especially in terms of sex; I’ve done my fair share of shagging, and sometimes it’s nice to have guidance, to hear dirty, dirty things.
For instance, one time Daddy and I were warming up for some messy sex, and he was fingering me (well, I think he was fisting me, but I was pretty spaced out on a massive concoction of hedonism) and he was telling me how many fingers he had inside me, and I was being all coy about it.
‘Oh, baby, look at your pussy, look how wide it’s stretching out for me, oh darling, your cunt, that’s three fingers I have inside you now, all the way up to the knuckles, how does that feel, slut?’
‘Daddy, more, put another one in me, please, I want to see how much of your hand I can take’ (actually on recollection, this does sound like a porn film, and a little bit contrived, but honest to God, that’s how we were speaking)
‘Do you like it when Daddy fists your pussy?’
‘Yes, Daddy, you’re the first one to do it for me, to give me so much pleasure… please…’ *orgasming*
‘After all the times you fooled around with those silly little boys after school, now look at you, you’re taking my whole hand up your pussy – they stretched you out for me, baby, but you’re still so, so tight’
*more orgasming*
God it’s just so hot to see Daddy pounding away at me, if I look over my left shoulder, I can see him out of the corner of my eye, and sometimes we make eye contact, and this is when I really come into my own as a slutty little daughter – I’ll say how sorry I was for coming home drunk, with Rob’s come in my hair, how sorry I was for being late, but that maybe if this was the punishment I was going to get, that I should do it more often, that I should be a whore more. Maybe I should sit around on the sofa, watching TV in ripped stockings, smeared lipstick, hair like Amy Winehouse, smoking a cigarette (Daddy likes it when I smoke), maybe I should be a bad, bad girl, if it means I get such a thorough seeing to.
Sometimes he’ll spank my arse a bit, sometimes he’ll bite me as he’s balls deep inside me, sometimes he’ll pull my hair, and sometimes I’ll just shout and scream profanities (I’m quite loud, you know) about how much I love Daddy’s cock, how he needs to fuck me harder, and the best, is when he tells me I’m not allowed to come until I’ve asked permission. I come quite easily, with a good, hard ramming; I’ve yet to disobey him, after all, he is my Daddy, and I don’t want to disappoint him.
I think in terms of our Daddy/daughter roleplaying, it’s purely sexual, but there are elements of this relationship (not that we’re ‘together’) that I find comforting, and delicious. The fact that he looks after me, and holds me after we’ve had sex, he’ll cook for me, and explain to me Formula 1 whilst I actively try to keep up, actively try and engage. He’ll massage my back for me, when I’m complaining of cramps or trapped nerves. I love that he has chest hair, and that some of these hairs are grey, I love that I get to stroke his chest as I fall asleep, like he’s a big bear (funny thing is, he’s quite a slim/svelte/toned guy, not that he’ll thank me for saying that), and he’s so, so warm, so firm as well. Maybe this says more about my decisions on past sexual partners, rather than anything else, but I digress.
I love that I can call him or Skype him and we can chat for a good couple of hours, and I can tell him about what’s worrying me, tell him things I can’t tell my real dad, because it would be weird. I do see him as a father figure, but not as my real father. For me, some of the caring elements bleed over, into ‘real life’, but I can still draw the distinction. When we first got together, I was calling him Daddy all the time, he was saved on my phone as Daddy, I’d answer and end each call with Hi/See you later Daddy… it became overkill. Every now and then, it’s nice to toy with it in a public setting, see if people do think he really is my dad… that is, until, I shove my tongue down his throat.
If you liked this, you should definitely follow Mimieux on Twitter and check out her Tumblr, with updates on her exploits…
60 Comments
You are clearly exploring your seual desires to the full within a trusting and caring relationship. I believe this is called the Electra syndrome and is the diametric opposite to the Oedipus syndrome. These syndromes do not necessarily mean a person wants to have sex with their parents, rather to explore something that is so taboo.
Apart from that, the sex seems to be scintillatingly hot and you sound like you are still trying to find your own boundaries. I wish you the best of luck (and fun) in that search. I also hope you meet the right people to search with.
I would love to read more blogs with sort of dirty honesty, it’s quite thrilling!
Hooray! Delighted you liked it – I’ll try to seek out more guest bloggers with filthy honesty like this. Honest tales of sex both people loved are usually the hottest =)
I totally get the attraction of older men. In fact, there’s a surprising amount here that I recognise and agree with, even though I don’t go for the Daddy/daughter dynamic. That’s not my kink, but I don’t see that it means you condone incest any more than I’m condoning rape when I let my older man hold me down and threaten to force himself on me
I’ve always wanted to try out some rape play, I won’t lie. If you’re reading, Daddy, let’s make this happen! ;)
I struggled to reconcile these feelings, having been heavily involved in feminist activism in the last couple of years! What I like in the bedroom (or any other room, or an alley… or whatever) doesn’t translate to something I would enjoy in real life. I think the most important thing is to draw the line between fantasy and reality, like GOTN said in her opening … bit. :)
I know that struggle. I don’t even have rape fantasies,I just enjoy a good fight in the bedroom.It only works because I know he’d never actually do anything I didn’t want
There’s nothing quite like being totally overpowered, and taken, is there? Ahhhh hot.
love to play it and other too k
Sweet Mother of squirt, this was incredibly hot. Suffice to say, “I get it”.
So how come ‘daddy’ roleplay, or at least saying ‘daddy’ during sex is generally part of the sexual vernacular nowadays, but if not ‘mummy’. In fact, I’m aware a lot of open-minded people would frequent a blog like this, but I doubt many of them would find the man they’re with calling them ‘mother’ a turn-on. Not that it would be wrong if they did, mind.
Basically what I’m asking is, why is one widely accepted as hot and the other completely not…?
Probably because the Daddy/daughter dynamic ties into stereotypes of the man as the strong provider, caring for his woman/little girl. A Mother/son dynamic casts the man as never having grown up and achieved independence, which is still considered to be a worse thing for a man than a woman.
Hmm… I’m not sure. There are certainly some people who get off on mummy role play, but I haven’t heard it discussed as often as daddy. Perhaps there are just fewer people who are into it? After all, I don’t think I’d expect there to necessarily be even numbers of people into ‘opposite’ fantasies. But this has got me thinking about whether there are equal numbers of men/women with submissive fantasies – someone must have studied this. I’d expect there to be a difference (although not sure which way) but I’d be interested to know if there is one.
I think that it’s something to do with traditional gender roles, like Ay None said – and I’m going to make a huuuuge generalization here, and say there are probably more submissive women than there are dominant women, and the number of dominant women who would enjoy being called ‘Mummy’ during sex is probably even smaller still.
However, if you read erotic fiction, a lot of the ‘top rated’ (not that I’ve looked… *blushes*) or most loved stories are of mother/son fantasies.
The reason I would be reticent to enjoy being called Mummy during sex is because I’m so far away from that point in my life. Maybe it’s because for women, to have a child, to become a parent, they have to go through 9 months of pregnancy and then childbirth… but men just have to implant their seed and BAM off it goes. I don’t see mother figures as sexy – they care, look after, nurture. And the idea of a baby coming out of me at all and the responsibility of it… that’s everything that’s coming to mind right now!!!!
I know a couple of dominant women, who like to play with the idea of Daddy, whilst they’re wearing a strap on. It’s very interesting… and that’s kinda hot too.
See that’s an interesting question, GOTN. I got bollocked the other say (and maybe rightly, I don’t know) when I suggested to a female friend that for whatever reason women are naturally more sexually submissive than men. And the whole. Now obviously that’s a massive generalization and I didn’t mean that they SHOULD be sexually submissive, or that it’s an inherent thing that cannot be averted – but everything I have experience sexually in my life either first hand or otherwise would suggest this to be true.
I’ve met a few dominatix…es in my time and although all have enjoyed their work greatly, absolutely none get off on it sexually. Again, gross generalization, but it’s only what I’ve observed. I think a weak man is not sexually enticing to a heterosexual woman. Whereas a virginal wallflower, or aspects of a personality that could be deemed ‘weak if they were to be within a man, in a woman can still arouse desire in men. There’s that element of conquest that doesn’t seem to be so prevalent in woman as in men. By the way, obviously I’m talking exclusively about the heterosexual sexual dynamics here, so my points are already very limited.
Anyway, seeing as this has been an entire post of massive, badly thought-out generalizations, I’ll end with one too. Let’s take that oft wearily cited exemplar of modern sexuality – Fifty Shades Of Grey. Christ… Anyway, it goes without saying that if that had been a story in which the genders were reversed, it would barely be a thing. That would be considered a niche kink. Now ‘powerful’ man is what is generally (there’s that word again) desired. God knows if the reasons for this are societal, biological or evolutionary or whatever, and I’ve not yet seen any studies for it, but it really does seem to be true. Sometimes generalizations can be correct….
Generally.
Day*
On The Whole*
:(
Having worked as a professional dominatrix for about a year (not a very successful one, I might add) you have to draw up certain rules, and one of those is that you’re not giving out sexual favours – it’s not sexual to you, but if it’s sexual to them, that’s fine, as long as they don’t act on it. In the same way, if you see a hot woman in the streets and you get a boner, you’re not going to jump her, I’d assume you’d go home and have a lovely wank over her, or similar.
For me there was always a cathartic release (because I specialized in beating people, sensually or otherwise) but it was never sexual, never. A lot of the fem-dommes I know, do get off on dominant sex, it does exist, but it doesn’t do an awful lot for me – Ask Daddy, he’ll tell you, I hate being on top! There are always exceptions that prove the rule, however, and sexuality is a fluid thing, there isn’t necessarily a need to pigeonhole it…. boring boring, you know all this stuff. If you’d like to chat with me further about this, you can message me on good old fetlife, I’m the same name there as here :)
A lot of things that put me off about submissive men is they tend to be a specific type, especially the ones that came to see me. They were in their 40s, they were only just coming to terms with their submissive nature, they were needy, they saw me as a relationship… It sounds callous, but you can’t be emotionally invested in 5 different, demanding submissives at once, you have no time for yourself! Some of the younger subs I’ve met on the London fet scene have this quality where you get the idea that you can mould them, to be your perfect bitch… but it requires effort on both sides, and when you’re not seeing things changing in their behaviour, when you’ve been honest and open with them, it just gets a bit… why do I bother. Of all the subs I’ve met in my life, there has been one genuine sweetheart, who would do anything for me, and I for him, but that doesn’t mean I want to sleep with him. He’s totally devoted, and that’s adorable, and there’s a little… special spot in my heart for him.
Christ, I should shut up and go to bed!
See that’s what I’m saying. A bitch (I can’t think of a more delicate term than that, sorry) is a sexual construct that is deemed desirable only in a woman. And in the appropriate sexual context many women enjoy it too. And that’s brilliant. But what I’m asking is why have I never met a woman who gets off, who properly gets off, on the man being the bitch. I’ve met women who have tried it and have had fun and have done it again, but if their male partner were to suggest that be the ongoing dynamic of their sexual relationship they’d be told to fuck off. Which lead to my conclusion that women do seem to be naturally (that’s a dodgy word – can’t think of a better one) women seem to be inclined to be more sexually submissive. And I’ve seen no studies or articles as to why that may or may not be.
To say the mummy fantasy is ‘completely not’ accepted isn’t really true. I’ve flirted with older women when I was younger who hinted at this dynamic even if there wasn’t specifically roleplay. There are also now many more porn videos with this theme than for example 10-15 yrs ago.
Unlike Mimieux, during my teens-twenties I found mother figures one of the biggest turn-ons and the fact they’re meant to ‘care’ is one of the taboo elements she refers to, so it’s a bit hypocritical to then say it’s not a turn on. I must be one of the rare people who appreciate both role-plays, but with daughters it helps if they’re younger! I remember once I asked a girl if she’d play my daughter and she was horrified, thinking I was some kind of abuser:-( which reminded me I guess that both fantasies are perhaps not really mainstream. Personally I ‘m not concerned with statistics of who’s into what, if that’s your thing then it’s equally valid and there’s not much you can do to change it anyway!
Mimieux says she doesn’t want to fuck her actual father, but at least subconsciously there must be an element of that. What if he slipped his hand under the covers when saying good night? I’d be interested to know if she’d go through with it IF he remembered nothing the next day!
Hello hello!
If my actual, real life father were to come into my room and slip his hands under my covers to say good night, I can tell you straight up, right now, I would punch him in the face and tell him to fuck off. I think he knows about my ‘father figure’ fantasies, or at least… he’s aware of them (you only have to look at the average age of men I’ve dated to get an idea), but I know that he would never try and do anything at all. :)
I’m not the author of this piece, but I too find ageplay and Daddy/baby girl play to be a big turn on.
I can tell you that there is absolutely NO element of this that involves being attracted to my actual, biological father. The thought makes me feel rather ill, actually. It’s all about the taboo, and the power play, and not at all about wanting to have sex with my real father. Ick.
Me and my husband role play as both one night I’ll be mommie the next he is daddy. I have seen that the mother role is more loving and nutering as the father role is more firm. We like to trade control so we both enjoy these. At first yes role playing as a mother kinda threw me off but as I seen it pleasure him more than being my “daddy”.
Like , saying mom, mommy in role play. I love mom/son incest roleplay.
Hi!
Great blog. :) I read GotN all the time and it’s lovely to see my kink/sexuality being discussed positively here.
I totally love your observations about realising something might be up because of reactions to Disney villains. Mmm yes. (My partner/Daddy just YouTubed ‘Be Prepared’ because.he hadn’t seen it and is now giving me ‘the look’, so I might not have that much longer to post this comment)
Anyway, in case you haven’t seen it (and are interested in this sort of thing) there is a group in London dedicated to ageplay of all kinds: https://fetlife.com/groups/72271/about We have munches and picnics and parties and stuff.
Thanks for speaking up about our kink. There does seem to be a shift in terms of acceptance of it at the moment, but (as no doubt you know and from GotN’s disclaimer so does she) it’s still pretty controversial, so it’s awesome to see things like this appearing.
Yay, I’m glad I didn’t mess it up for other age players! For me, it’s not about colouring in and sippy cups, teddy bear picnics, it’s about dirty, dirty sex… but that’s just me!! I’m also out of the country for a little while at the moment, but I will definitely have a look when I’m back in town! :) Also if you want to add me on FL, I’m the same name, and we can chat further!!
I’d just like to take a sec to thank GOTN for inviting me to post, and subsequently hosting this blog, the response has been overwhelming. Big love!! :) :)
I know a similar spin on this involving an interracial couple ( I do hate that term but it seems to be what most people understand) where some couples, including escorts I know getting requests for extreme racial abuse that would be quite controversial and best not talked about for being as explosive as this.
Lets just say, when I was told about this I went from shock “you got my attention” to finding it quite erotic in the heat of the moment said between two people that trust, or even love each other. All it tells me is that people sure are complicated in this world.
Mind you, in my profession shooting couples I am more likely to meet couples with colourful sex lives hence why they shoot porn for all the world to see.
Did you check out my podcasts yet? I’d very much like to know what other people think about couples chatting candidly about themselves and their sex lives. If you want to see them “at it” then you will have to see the site but the podcasts are polite enough to listen to on here in case people do not want to see porn
The only part of this I found uneasy to read was the confession that the writer found a book recounting what was essentially the grooming and rape of a 12 year-old sexually exciting. I know it’s fiction but I can’t say that didn’t make me uncomfortable. I had no idea Lolita was supposed to be… arousing. I also doubt that if a male contributor started their entry with that even the broadly-minded GOTN would be okay with it.
OK, first things first: it’s not up to me to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be shocked by. I’m not going to have a go at you for finding that particular confession shocking. But I am going to say that I don’t find it particularly shocking, for a number of reasons.
– Lolita has frequently been described as an ‘erotic’ novel. Personally I disagree with this interpretation – I think it’s massively crude and ignores most of the things about the book that are striking. However, I don’t think it’s controversial to say that there are elements of the book which are written erotically. I think Nabokov wants to try and draw you into Humbert’s thoughts, and part of that involves using suggestion to trick you into temporarily forgetting what a monster Humbert Humbert is, in the same way as he’s tricking himself. I don’t think Lolita would be remembered, re-read and studied today if all the reader was ever invited to do was be flat-out shocked. I’ve just spent half an hour or so skimming essays and blogs on it, and nearly all of them mention the creepiness built up by Humbert’s narration, and the way the reader is invited to interpret the world in his twisted way. The book is clever because it makes you feel things you don’t want to.
– I’ll hazard that the guest blogger (although she can tell you better than me) was not aroused by the grooming and rape of a young girl, but by the arousal of older men. There are certain elements of the book in which the narrator’s own arousal is all-consuming – we don’t necessarily need to be aroused by the same things he is in order to find his arousal hot. Again, it’s not up to me to say whether that should or shouldn’t shock you, but I think that no matter how shocking the storyline of the book, it won’t stop some people being aroused by certain passages. In the Stephen King book Cujo there’s a sentence “he spat semen onto the bedspread in a convulsion.” I remember it word for word because it made me so horny I could barely see when I was younger. His motivation for coming was rage and revenge, but I didn’t need to feel the rage and revenge in order for my messed up teenage brain to find that tiny snapshot hot.
– Next point: there is nothing fundamentally wrong with a girl getting aroused by this stuff. When I was 14 I used to imagine my history teacher having sex with me. I used to wank about it. I used to sit in class, gazing dreamily at him, and getting aroused. That isn’t to say that if he’d fucked me everything would be fine: of course it wouldn’t. Not only would he be breaking the law, he’d probably have utterly destroyed me.
– Which brings me neatly on to your last point: no, I probably wouldn’t have published a blog by a guy who said he found Lolita arousing. Why? Because the predator/prey dynamic has switched. It’s totally fine, and natural, and unshocking (in my opinion) for younger me to wank over my history teacher, but it would be foul for him to have done the same while thinking about his young students. What I would publish, though, would be a blog from a guy who had similar fantasies of being dominated or taken by someone older: there’s nothing inherently wrong with fantasising about this, and in fact I think that fantasies which involve abuse of power in some way are quite common among submissive types (at least among many of the submissive types that I know). However, just because people are aroused by things that doesn’t mean they’ll do them, or indeed that they want to. As this guest blogger said, the idea of things like this happening in real life horrifies her.
As I said above – it’s not up to me to dictate what is and isn’t shocking: you feel how you feel, and I suspect other people will have been shocked by that too (hence my initial intro to the blog, talking about fantasy vs reality etc). But I wanted to take the time to explain why I didn’t find this shocking, and that I don’t think the guest blogger is wrong or bad for feeling this.
I could write an essay on the eroticism of Lolita, and I agree, perhaps my phrasing there wasn’t quite right. In fact, if you want, I could write a whole other post about it, 3000 words, citations, references, the works (I did an essay on it for A level, and I would LOVE to study it further), and save everyone the hassle of reading something INCREDIBLY long winded here, but in the mean time, I will summarize as best I can.
I read Lolita when I was 17. I was too old to identify as a nymphet (and to be honest, a garumphing elephant such as my self, a nymphet? please), but it’s a hot book. I was struck by how many times I had this internal dichotomy: put the book down, process what I’m reading, revile the narrator, or continue reading it, continue feeling this weird, filthy feeling, and put to one side the pedophilic nature of this book. There are some revolting bits, for example, when Humbert says that he’d like to impregnate Lolita, and have her have children, which he could then … groom and sleep with. That’s wrong, I’ll admit that – that crosses the line. That bit did not turn me on, that revolted me.
Like GOTN says – the success of the book, crudely, relies on the hypnotic, lilting way in which Nabokov writes. Seriously, it’s very suggestive, subliminal messaging kind of suggestive, repetition of sounds, it draws you in, and seduces you, like it seduced me. I’m by no means saying this is right, this is just how it is.
I would also like to add that she flirted with him too. If you’ve seen the film, the one with Jeremy Irons (OOFT), the girl they got to play Lo is as perfect to Lo as I could’ve imagined. She knew he liked her, and she played that. He never raped her, she was a willing participant, if I recall correctly. In fact, *SPOILERS* she got bored of that old man (Humbert), and went off with another old man. An erotic novel is not the sum of its parts, in fact there’s no ‘sex’ (50SOG kind or otherwise) in the book. Suggestive is definitely the word. I do not agree with pedophilia in any way, and the distinction between fantasy and reality is very important when talking about this sort of thing.
I would also like to add that GOTN is right – it’s about the lengths this man will go to, to fulfill his desires, hell he even did a road trip all the way across America with her. He meticulously imagines the death of her mother, so he can have her all to himself, it’s things like that that get me going, the fact that this guy will wreak a trail of destruction behind him, to be with her. It’s kind of romantic in a twisted, twisted way. That doesn’t mean that I want someone to plan the death of my family just to spend the rest of forever with me, that would be wrong. I’m not dead keen on anal, I’m afraid, but watching that look in Daddy’s eyes when he’s watching porn with anal in it – and knowing how hot it makes him – that turns me on. Desire and arousal, and the nature of human wants. Oooft.
I’m also with GOTN about wanking over teachers – I think that’s another reason why Humbert appealed to me – in my mind’s eye, he represented my year 10 and 11 history teacher. (what is it with history teachers, seriously! this one was beautiful, hi if you’re reading this, Mr P!). I whole heartedly echo what she says about how it would not be cool if they did get it on, of it me and my history teacher got it on, for obvious reasons.
I would never, ever, ever condone incest, in my life, ever, or grooming, or pedophilia. EVER.
I was talking to a very close friend about this over the summer, when I admitted to her that I had this Daddy fetish, that I enjoyed it, and I asked her if that was wrong – and she said that it wasn’t, she understood even if she didn’t practice it, she got it. It’s about pushing your limits within a set of boundaries. It’s like going on a rollercoaster, to experience the feeling of falling, but knowing that something’s going to catch you when you hit the bottom. She said it a lot more eloquently, and I was a little merry when she explained it, but that’s the gist.
Maybe I should alter my phrasing here: I didn’t find Lolita arousing – I found it compelling, dirty, and seductive. Arousing was perhaps not my best choice of words.
I hope I’ve explained myself as best I can here!!! :) :)
I get understand a lot of that and maybe some of the complexities are going over my head but isn’t “compelling, dirty, and seductive”, just slightly different words for arousing…?
As GOTN says, a naive, horny student/teacher fantasy is perfectly natural for anyone at the time, but surely the fact you first read Lolita it at 17+ means you were basically an adult getting off on a fantasy of a 12 year old girl fucking an old man. At that point, the ‘predator/prey’ dynamic has hardly switched has it, as it’s a sexually mature person transposing that fantasy into a book about a paedophile. What I still don’t get is is GOTN’s assertion that it’s different if a man were to do it than a woman. An adult’s an adult. Also, I really don’t feel comfortable with the suggestion that because she “flirted with him” that, in any real-life terms, has any relevance. It’s quite a chilling disclaimer as there’s no age barrier to flirting is there, and would certainly not stand up in court.
I agree, except for the fact that a minor cannot be a willing participant, a girl of that age cannot consent – and given the way it seems all of us felt about our history teachers (mine was hot), that’s a good thing.
Great guest blog. It’s always interesting to read about other people’s experiences. Whilst I don’t identify as a ‘little’ I can completely understand where this fantasy/fetish comes from and love the narrative laid out in the post where Daddy talks about being better than the little boys she’s played with.
Very hot.
Thank you for sharing and look out for another guest post by Mimieux on babefiend.com tomorrow! x
”It’s totally fine, and natural, and unshocking (in my opinion) for younger me to wank over my history teacher, but it would be foul for him to have done the same while thinking about his young students.”
Am I right in thinking you mean, in your opinion, it’s okay for high school you to wank over the thought of your history teacher, yet he’s not supposed to wank over the thought of high school you? Even if his fantasy is never gonna happen and it’s s
”It’s totally fine, and natural, and unshocking (in my opinion) for younger me to wank over my history teacher, but it would be foul for him to have done the same while thinking about his young students.”
Am I right in thinking you mean, in your opinion, it’s okay for high school you to wank over the thought of your history teacher, yet he’s not supposed to wank over the thought of high school you? Even if his fantasy is never gonna happen and it’s something he doesn’t want to do….EVER…. Or am I getting on my moral high horse and got my stabby, jousty thing out before the army even got to Camelot? :) lol
Well, I’m not the arbiter of what is and isn’t OK, but I stick by my original assertion that I think it would be foul – a teacher masturbating over his (pretty young) students? Yeah. I appreciate he might never do anything about it, hence why I wouldn’t call for someone’s head on a spike, but I do get a pretty intense disgust reaction to it. Ironically, when I was that age, I am sure I imagined it and was not disgusted. But if I’d been told at that age that he actually did it, I have no idea how I’d react. The human brain is an odd thing.
This is bullshit. You seem to be saying fantasies should only ever be from the sub perspective and in the first person. And that you shouldnt have a fantasy wank about real people without their consent. If you are going to defend eg rape fantasies (statutory or otherwise), from the point of view of the victim, then you must also defend them from the point of view of the perpetrator. If fantasy and pretend makes talking about, getting off on, and acting out non-consent fantasies safely then it must be safe from both sides. If it’s not safe from both sides then how can you ever ask a dom lover to get off on it with you? If you can’t trust your lover to get off on these fantasies safely (as in maintaining empathy and distinguishing fantasy from reality), then you are asking them to either really rape you or to do something that they are deeply uncomfortable and horrified by which pretty much is rape. We can argue all we like about the daddy fantasy, but what contempt for a man (who by his own lights is just pleasing a consenting adult lover) does this show? How can one find lovers to indulge these fantasies if one despises any man who shares them?
No, I’m saying that I get a pretty strong disgust reaction to a teacher wanking over their students. I don’t get the leaps and bounds of logic you’ve made here to assume I’m slating guys who play out fantasies with their adult partners.
Disgusting is a strong word. Saying other peoples fantasy wanks are disgusting comes across as pretty harsh.
Earlier in this thread you strongly implied it would be wrong to publish such non-consent fantasies from a male dom perspective (excerpt below), but not if it was from a sub perspective. I don’t understand why? Given that in order to act out these fantasies with a BDSM partner such men would need to enjoy those fantasies, and yet that thought leaves you with a feeling of disgust. Surely all fantasies are valid, as long as they are fantasies. If its OK to fantasy wank over real people without asking them, then what difference does it make how old they are. How is that disgusting in a way other non-consent fantasies aren’t. It raises other questions: Can women publish fantasies of non-consent if they are the rapist or must they always be the one being raped? Can women publish fantasies written from the male perspective, of say a teacher fucking his under-age pupils? Such fantasies might not be your cup of tea but calling them disgusting feels like you are shaming them for their fantasies. Or are you just disgusted by all non-consent fantasies and role play? That would be more understandable. Otherwise it looks like double standards to me.
GOTN ‘ I probably wouldn’t have published a blog by a guy who said he found Lolita arousing. Why? Because the predator/prey dynamic has switched. It’s totally fine, and natural, and unshocking (in my opinion) for younger me to wank over my history teacher, but it would be foul for him to have done the same while thinking about his young students. What I would publish, though, would be a blog from a guy who had similar fantasies of being dominated or taken by someone older: there’s nothing inherently wrong with fantasising about this’
You seem to be asking me to publish fantasy sex in which one person actually is underage, as opposed to ‘age play’ in which both participants are above the age of consent. There’s a difference between exploring consensual fantasy and publishing something that’s actually illegal, and I’m struggling to work out why you don’t understand this. Could you please also refrain from going into a lot of detail about what you think I should be publishing in that area, because I’m afraid I’ll have to delete it and I try not to delete comments, wherever possible.
Regarding disgust: perhaps you’re right and I am shaming. Nevertheless, actually living out those kind of fantasies is harmful and illegal, in a way that role-playing CNC, reliving fantasies you had in your own youth, or age play, are not. I think they’re categorically different things and lumping them together seems disingenuous. I know that there are many people who do have genuine fantasies that include actual underage people. They’re not just ‘not my cup of tea’, they’re illegal to publish. I don’t care what happens in your head, but we were talking specifically about what I would publish on this blog.
“Surely all fantasies are valid, as long as they are fantasies.” – Sure, and I’d never say we should punish people for what happens in their head. However there’s a difference between ‘valid’ and ‘healthy’ – if someone’s genuinely aroused by people who are significantly underage, there is help out there, and this article’s a good start: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=12927907
I think I get what Kranky345 is saying, we need to understand what it is
> about these fantasies that is exciting. When we get off on a fantasy
> that would be utterly unacceptable if it were real we have to accept (I
> think) that part our excitement derives from the idea of the reality. I
> personally would like to try playing with force and coercion (from a sub
> perspective), but I have never found a man that I was able to explore
> this with because either they found the idea a turn off (and I don’t
> want to ask anyone to do anything that makes them uncomfortable), or
> they were excited by the idea in a way I found disturbing. Now, I’m sure
> that I have just been unlucky, that there are loads of men out there who
> have the kindness and empathy to get off on these kinds of ideas without
> ever denigrating the harm they can do in real life, but I feel as
> though the world is conspiring to reduce our capacity for empathy and
> kindness on every front. Our whole society seems aimed at treating
> people like object to be used or discarded according to our needs or
> desires. Sexual imagery (both written and visual) usually tends to lack the
> humanity, nuance and subtlety that would make playing with a dangerous
> idea safe. I am a huge fan of your work, GOTN, because I feel that
> usually (and particularly in your book), you succeed in including this
> kind of humanity and nuance (AND making it really hot!). But I would
> like to hear from more doms, I
> would like to hear from Mimieux’s lover about how he sees these
> fantasies? You talk about the predator/prey dynamic being switched, but
> in order to enjoy being prey, I want to know what goes on in the mind of
> someone pretending to be a predator. Kranky345 is right when he says
> that we need to be able to
> trust our lovers to have whatever fantasies they like, while getting off
> on these ideas in a way that never crosses the line into abusive action.
> And you talk about the difference between healthy and unhealthy
> fantasies. But I am
> concerned about how we know what is healthy or not? I was, myself, the
> victim of sexual abuse for several years, and what I found hardest to
> deal with (and still struggle with) was the feeling of being “being used
> like that’s all I was good for”. I know this sensation is a particular
> turn on for you, and I am not, for a single second, suggesting that your
> desire for this sort of play in any way belittles the suffering that
> such treatment can
> cause in real life, but I’m not sure I trust everyone else. I keep
> wondering if my abuser, reading some of your thoughts, would feel
> vindicated in his view of women in general and me in particular. What I
> mean is that a fantasy/idea/role play which is healthy, consensual,
> loving and mutual when shared between understanding lovers can sound in
> print
> like a validation of abusive behavior to someone primed by social sexism
> to denigrate and objectify women.
Me and my man are not shy in bed, we do all sorts of kinky stuff. So when he expressed an interest in this I wasn’t exactly surprised or creeped out, I get it, its a dominance thing for him ( I love being dominated so that’s cool) , and I know that in real life he would kill any man who touched their children, sexually or physically, and I am totally cool with trying it out. But. I know its a big turn on for him and I 1) Don’t want it to dominate our entire sex life ( I want him to see me when we are in such embraces most of the time, not a daughter figure ), and 2) Have NO IDEA how to go about indulging his fantasy… every time I bring it up he says “just go with it, I’ll like whatever you do” and drops the conversation, making me too nervous to initiate the role-play. I even tried watching some example porn, which although it gave me ideas, I’m concerned that I won’t be able to perform the role the entire way through (did I mention the sex is amazing? I pretty much lose control of myself half way through).
In any case, I am willing but worried that my performance will only be sub par, and would appreciate having sex with the love of my life more often than Daddy.
Help or not, I am so glad this blog exists. And this article was educational and very relieving. Now if only I could buck up and “Go with daddy’s flow”.
That is a good, and very difficult question. It’s great that you’re comfortable trying this stuff out with him, but I sympathise with your difficulty in working out what to say or how to ‘perform’ as it were – I have had similar issues when guys have asked me to be super-dominant. Dominance doesn’t come that naturally to me and although I get a real kick out of it sometimes, it took me a long time to try and work out what to say.
I reckon the best advice I can give you is to read lots of blogs and forum posts on the subject, from people who are actively doing it every day. Feel free to rip off material/lines from their blogs (your partner doesn’t have to know you nicked someone else’s ideas!). I found with domination that taking tricks from elsewhere helped me to get a bit more into the ‘zone’, and after a bit of practise I was more comfortable freestyling and coming up with my own ideas. Best of luck, and hope you have fun together! x
Speaking as a man on the cusp of turning 30 years old, I have a very prominent fetish for father/daughter role-play. And yet, a surprising number of women I have spoken to are strongly against this type of fantasy and role-play. Its kindof frustrating really, I’ve only every indulged in this a handful of times….
in your own opinion, why do you think people are so bothered by this type of fantasy, even under the knowledge that it is strictly a love for the taboo as opposed to a love of incest?
Hello Wreck – I can’t believe I only just saw this comment! I can’t tell you why loads of women are against it, the same way I can’t tell you WHY I go mad for it… Maybe the idea their against, as you say, the love of the taboo, is confused with their love for incest. I would never advocate real incest, and I don’t desire my father sexually, but something about calling a guy Daddy whilst he’s inside me just does it for me. It does seem to me, a pretty niche area, and I struggle to find a Daddy, the same way you might struggle to find a little or a baby girl. The knowledge that it’s so wrong, yet feels so good, is almost enough for me… Maybe these women are against it, because to them, a little space is a child space, like 5 years old, and sexualizing children seems (I hope!!) weird for them. My little space is about 15/16, which is only just legal at 16, in terms of consenting sexually. Perhaps saying ‘daddy’ gets them back to being a pouty toddler? Just a thought!!
I have to say father/daughter roleplay ( and the real thing ) Turn me on like nothing else in this world. I’m a 30yr old guy who lives in Seattle.., and my last girlfriend totally indulged me in this fantasy. The next girl I find with this type of fantasy going on I’m definitely going to marry.. It made my sex 10000 times better then normal.. I was ready to go at any time.. I would loooove to get in contact with anyone who might be interested in chatting about it..
And yes my ex was willing to actually be with her dad if he wanted.. I wont give more details at the moment.. But I know for a fact that some girls actually DO desire their fathers sexually.. And I don’t see anything wrong with that if they are both consenting adults. One time right after she got off the phone with him, she wanted to get in bed right away.. It lasted for over 2 hours.. It’s saddening for me because I can’t find another girl like this.. I swear she was 1 in a million.. What are some signs I might be able to pick up on that a girl would be interested? So far, bisexual girls seem to be the most open to the idea.. Again, would love to talk to anyone! ill check back here often :)
I’m sorry, I’m really trying to be open minded about this subject, which is difficult for me. Personally though, I find that absolutely abhorrent. I’m not judging, but personally I would have a think about why you think incest is acceptable if both parties consent. There’s a reason that this is not accepted by wider society. I repeat, I am absolutely not judging you or her, but from my own extensive experience in this area, I would wager that she has had some very specific types of abuse in the past. I’m definitely not saying that everyone who wants to engage in this kind of play is an abuse victim, but that’s a whole other level. The fact that you are desperately seeking another women with a similar mindset also sets off alarm bells for me personally, but again that’s your business and I don’t mean to judge or patronise.
And the reason so many women have an issue with this? Look up statistics for how many underage girls are abused by their fathers / parents friends / teachers / older men. The stats are shocking. I have at least 15 female friends who experienced abuse of this kind, and that’s just the ones who have told me. This runs far deeper than you might realise.
This is way too hot, nice write up-however I don’t think you are odd or twisted. I think it is inherent for a girl to like dominant/protective partners. It parallels men desiring the feeling of being a ‘protector’.
Well maybe I’m generalizing too much-at the very least, these types of preferences are not uncommon.
I seriously debated with myself about whether I should read this post – having already been badly affected by another post, I guess I’m in the mood to push myself and see what I can tolerate.
Here’s the truth of my situation. I was abused by my father. The abuse itself not only destroyed my self-esteem and self-image, but my opinion of sex, my ability to orgasm for many years, and many other things. Certain triggers can leave me petrified and hysterical for hours or days. I’ve always avoided reading about anything like this, for obvious reasons. I read an article the other day about teenage paedophiles while contained, out of the blue, the most graphic description of the most horrific CP I’ve ever heard. I was physically sick for hours.
Since I met my husband and began to feel more comfortable, my sexual horizon has broadened significantly. Specifically very recently, I’ve become very aroused by rough and forceful sex, and by saying things during sex that would imply lack of consent.
I only feel able to do this because I feel safer than I ever thought possible. However, I haven’t been able to get it all straight in my head and figure out why this turns me on. Part of me worried that it was the abuse that was causing me to feel this way, and I had a secret fear that it might be remnants of that abuse that contribute to the arousal, a thought which appalls me.
However, having read this, I can now say that’s honestly not the case. Reading this brings up all the feelings of revulsion and fears I have been trying to suppress for so many years. Nothing about this is arousing to me. I don’t mean this as a criticism to you – far be it from me to judge you, I like some pretty fucked up stuff myself. I’m sure you have no comprehension of the torture that is child abuse, yet alone father/child abuse, and therefore you can engage in this without any of that baggage – if you did, I’m sure you wouldn’t want any part of it.
So, while distressing to read, it has at least clarified my feelings and helped to eradicate a deep fear that has been brewing. I’m inclined to believe that I’m repurposing and reformatting the negative connotations of some of the things I’m doing, and reframing it in a safe, l
I seriously debated with myself about whether I should read this post – having already been badly affected by another post, I guess I’m in the mood to push myself and see what I can tolerate. I read and understood the warnings, and I only have myself to blame.
Here’s the truth of my situation. I was abused by my father. The abuse itself not only destroyed my self-esteem and self-image, but my opinion of sex, my ability to orgasm, my ability to trust men, it caused eating disorders and vicious self harm, and many other things. Certain triggers can leave me petrified and hysterical for hours or days. I’ve always avoided reading about anything like this, for obvious reasons.
Since I met my husband and began to feel more comfortable, my sexual horizon has broadened significantly. Specifically very recently, I’ve become very aroused by rough and forceful sex, acts that would be considered both humiliating and degrading, and by saying things during sex that imply lack of consent.
I only feel able to do this because I feel safer than I ever thought possible. However, I haven’t been able to get it all straight in my head and figure out why this turns me on. Part of me worried that it was the abuse that was causing me to feel this way, and I had a secret fear that it might be remnants of that abuse that contribute to the arousal, a thought which appalls me.
However, having read this, I can now say that’s honestly not the case. Reading this brings up all the feelings of revulsion and fears I have been trying to suppress for so many years, and no arousal at all. Nothing about this is arousing to me. I don’t mean this as a criticism to you – far be it from me to judge you, I like some pretty fucked up stuff myself. I’m sure you have no comprehension of the torture that is child abuse, yet alone father/child abuse, and therefore you can engage in this without any of that baggage – if you did, I’m sure you wouldn’t want any part of it.
I’ll be honest, the idea of men finding this arousing terrifies me, especially men who have children. I know just how common this kind of behaviour is. However, I also know that I don’t have a “normal” frame of reference.
So, while distressing to read, it has at least clarified my feelings and helped to eradicate a deep fear that has been brewing. I’m inclined to believe that I’m repurposing and reformatting the negative connotations of some of the things I’m doing, and reframing it in a safe, loving sexual relationship.
After this though, I don’t think I’ll be wanting anything dirty for a while – right now I just want to be held and feel safe.
my dad died when i was a teenager and have had daddy fantasies and lived it out in real life, i enjoyed but wondered about the psychology around it. i did come across one interesting articles that talks about fantasies as a way of sorting through, coming to terms with and dealing with associated traumas in life which i found quite comforting and a sensible theory.
I’m open-minded, but age-play is fucked up.
The second half of your sentence sort of negates the first, tbh.
I don’t necessarily consider daddy stuff as ‘age play’ btw. I’m talking about the age play referred to on this author’s tumblr. The kind of stuff when someone’s specifically pretending to fuck an 11 year old or whatever.
I’m aware I’m being judgmental, but it’s the one aspect of fetish life that really doesn’t sit right to me and in all honesty I couldn’t help but be distrustful of anyone who was into it. Sorry, I’m just being honest.
I’m still waiting for it to be explained why it’s ok for a grown woman to get off to a (fictional) story of a 12 year-old getting raped but not for a man to do the same.
Blimey. You’ve been waiting since… May? I do hope you’re alright.
Here’s what the guest poster said: “I knew things were a bit off when I read Lolita, and not only did I enjoy it, but I felt aroused by it.”
Here’s what you said: “Can women publish fantasies written from the male perspective, of say a teacher fucking his under-age pupils?”
The answer is: the former is someone admitting that they read legal material (she doesn’t say at what age), and found it arousing, and she wants to try and understand why, exploring her fantasies within a framework of consensual sex. The latter is someone writing underage porn. If you don’t understand the difference here, then please don’t make any further comments.
She did say what age in the comments – 17.
My point was if a man had said they found Lolita arousing at that age then you wouldn’t have published this.
Ah, so you can see the comments above, then? Can you see this one? http://www.girlonthenet.com/2013/10/22/daddy-role-play/#comment-235585 And this? http://www.girlonthenet.com/2013/10/22/daddy-role-play/#comment-482747 I’ve answered you there, and the vast majority of rational people would understand the context of what the author thought when she was younger, and how it plays into her adult fantasies today. So you’re not ‘waiting for an answer’, you’re rather bizarrely trying to get me to agree to publish things which make me feel uncomfortable, and which are illegal to print.
What are you talking about? I feel there’s a fundamental misunderstanding here as I’m not trying to get anyone to publish anything; illegal or otherwise. What’s ‘writing underage’ porn mean? I didn’t ask that thing about teachers I don’t think.
I simply am making the point (repeatedly) that the author of this article read Lolita as an adult and found it arousing; and that if it was a male author saying exactly the same thing, it wouldn’t have been published in the first place. That is literally the only point I’m making. Your previous comments, whilst thoughtful, don’t address this.
Wow you deleted my post. Okay then.
No, I put your comment in ‘pending’ because I was out and I didn’t want to have to deal with it while I was having fun. I very rarely delete comments, and usually if I do then I’ll say so, so that people don’t think I’m just randomly trashing things.
I put your comment in ‘pending’ because you’re a troll – you did ask that thing about teachers, and you left comments above under another name. Your IP address is logged, so I can tell when comments come from the same person. It’s not always 100% accurate, but given that you also made reference to the fact that you were waiting for an answer, I’m surprised that you now want to pretend they weren’t yours.
I genuinely have no idea what you’re saying, you seem to be accusing me of some kind of sexism because you think I wouldn’t have published the same thing from a male perspective. It has nothing to do with the gender of the speaker, and everything to do with the predator/prey dynamic within this particular fantasy, and the context in which it’s mentioned. I wouldn’t publish something written by a female teacher about one of her male students either.
So, yeah. You either haven’t read my comments, or you’re wilfully misinterpreting them. What’s more, you’re blatantly trolling and pretending to be two different people, for a purpose I can’t really fathom. All comments you make from now on will go straight to ‘unapproved’, and I’ll approve them if and when I can get round to it.
New to all this. Just met an FTM seeking daddy online. The contrast of everything going on seems to fit me perfectly. now I’m wondering why the fuck id want anything vanilla again. Nurturing, care, aggressive, nasty, dominance & taboo….yum. Thank you!
Oops my first comment had the ema domain misspelled. Not that i expect to hear back, if you do respond though, respond to this one or I’ll never get it. :) cheers and thanks again