The average adult reads at 250 words per minute. That means that the average person will read this blog post in under three minutes. As you’re reading that online, most of you will naturally read faster than you would if you were reading print, potentially skimming through a few sections of text as you skip ahead to particularly fascinating subheadings.
Frantically rubbing my clitoris
As you read this post, I want you to imagine the stage you’d be at if you’d started masturbating at the beginning. During the first sentence you opened your fly, pulled down your pyjama bottoms, or lifted your skirt and yanked your knickers to one side – whatever best fits your own masturbatory routine.
By now you’re about ten to twenty seconds in. For some of you, you’ll be in the ‘early arousal’ stage – just starting to get wet, or hard, or tingly, perhaps licking your fingers or reaching for the lube to speed things along.
Others might get there a bit more quickly – you’ll have graduated beyond the initial fumblings and be furiously frigging yourself, making all the delicious slick-wet or dry-rub noises that you most associate with this pleasurable past time.
If you read at the average speed, we’re now about thirty to forty seconds in.
If you’re me, you will have come already.
Speed wanking, and why I’m a bit odd
As a child I was a big fan of the film Grease. Big songs, big hair, and John Travolta in a tight leather jacket – what’s not to love? Somewhere in that film there’s a line about sex taking “just fifteen minutes.” Because I was young and inexperienced, I took this not just as a casual joke but a cast iron biological fact with the result that, during my teenage years, I was beset with occasional bouts of intense worry. I thought that either:
a) I wasn’t doing wanking right, because it was taking me between 30 and 45 seconds to come, and that if I kept doing it for longer I’d experience a ‘proper’ orgasm. This didn’t work too well, because too much wanking post-orgasm caused me much sadness and occasional intense pain. So the only other possibility was that:
b) I was a biological anomaly, and when I eventually got into bed with a man he would scream and run as soon as the first waves of orgasm twitched around his totally normal, 15-minute-ready dick.
The grass is always greener in someone else’s pants
Now that I’m an adult, I’m pretty used to my personal body quirks, and although things naturally take me a bit longer when I’m shagging, as a general rule my wanking has remained pretty quick. Thirty seconds, give or take.
I don’t usually think about it but the other day I had a conversation with a guy in which he told me – in exquisitely growling and lustful detail – about evenings he spends treating himself to extended masturbation sessions. These are the opposite of 30-minute wanking sprints – they last from when he walks in the door after work to when he finally ejaculates at bedtime. Porn, more porn, toys, slow rubbing on the sofa, frantic bouts of near-orgasmic frotting, pausing just before he comes, breaks for coffee, cigarettes and phone calls. Everything you’d do if you had all the time in the world and nothing but your genitals to play with.
I’m sad that I can’t ever really enjoy the kind of extended sessions guys like him have told me about – edging for hours until they’re ready to spurt at the lightest touch, or calmly stroking themselves to a plateau of not-quite-coming as they enjoy a particularly horny video. But even when I try to do this I fail miserably. If I watch porn (which I do, although probably not as often as people who are conoisseurs of it) I’ll watch it for about five minutes, find a section that I really like, then immediately initiate the frenzied clit-rubbing that’s so speedy and loveless I can almost hear the Countdown theme tune in my head.
It’s not that I hate wanking and need it to be over as soon as possible, or even that I’m biologically incapable of drawing it out. I wonder if it’s because when I’m alone and horny, spending longer than is strictly necessary feels like a disgraceful and guilty indulgence. If it took me half an hour to come I’d feel that was half an hour well spent. But if it only takes 30 seconds, spending longer on it might seem a bit excessive. Like preparing a gourmet meal when I’m not hungry, or wearing high heels to do the gardening.
How long does it take you?
It’s a nice trick most of the time – I don’t know many people who could pop the kettle on then guarantee they’ll have frigged themselves to orgasm by the time the water’s boiled – I’m not complaining as such. I just wonder if I’m the only one. Perhaps I’m walking through a world where most people spend two to three hours a week on masturbatory self-care, in which case I’ll kick myself for being the overly-efficient robot who bashes them out in less than a minute, never stopping to truly enjoy the build up.
If you made it to the end in less than three minutes: congratulations on your reading speed. If you went back to the beginning and started wanking to see if you could finish before the last full-stop: well done, and I’m sorry it didn’t contain more filth. And if you managed to both read it and orgasm in less than 30 seconds, perhaps we should start a league.
38 Comments
I have heard of other women who can orgasm quickly. I think Rebel of Rebel Notes is one such person. My body doesn’t seem to work this way. Things have to be just right for me, position is important but time even more so… If I came in under 5 minutes that would be very quick for me but not unheard of but I reckon the average is around 10 minutes, although certain things that really push my HOT buttons can obviously have an effect.
Interesting post, I love how we are all different. I think it is such an important message than many women don’t have or have not previously have access to. Knowing that there is no ‘normal’ only your own ‘normal’ is an important piece of information
Mollyxxxx
Absolutely – ‘normal’ for me might be very unusual for someone else, and vice versa. I think that’s a pretty important message health-wise as well – recognising when something is not right often entails understanding what ‘your’ version of normal is, and when it changes.
I used to come in approx 2 mins but with ms it sadly takes me a lot longer now. So I could maybe be a lapsed member of your club?
Of course – anyone can join, we just group them differently for the competitive games =)
I giggled when I imagined you wanking to the Countdown theme. bee-do, bee-do, diddly-do-BOO! squelch.
I find that the amount of time it takes to orgasm is directly related to how effective my mental stimulation is. something unbelievably horny might get me off in about 2 minutes, maybe. if I can’t find anything that’s working for me I could be there all day and it might never happen. My vibrator’s got too hot and my fanny’s gone numb before. those are very unhappy days.
I love to do a little edging sometimes – just because it makes the pleasure last longer. When you get to the Countdown stage, have you actually tried to hold off? Or can you not control yourself enough?
I have tried to hold off, and I think technically I can – like, I can pause for a while and not come, then wank again. But if I leave it for longer than 10-20 seconds, I get bored of the wank and wander off to do different things. Like, it pretty much completely turns me off the whole thing. I sort of wish I could do this better as lots of people I know swear by the joys of edging. Maybe I will have a concerted go at it sometime, and see =)
oh – you can’t pause too long or you’ll go off the boil. it’s a delicate art.
“If I can’t find anything that’s working for me I could be there all day and it might never happen. My vibrator’s got too hot and my fanny’s gone numb before,”
I so hear you SeasideSlut. I’m convinced my Rabbit has set up some kind of support group for when these incidents happen.
Do you have a Doxy? *evil grin* – that gives me much longer wanks, if only because of the way it does it. It’s more like a massively long orgasm – so I get to the peak quickly, then just hold there for a long time. It’s so different to a traditional wank that I didn’t feel it was fair to include in the comparison.
I’ve never tried the Doxy but it looks like the vibrations would be incredibly powerful – and I tend to find when a vibrator has that quality it’s precisely when it makes me go numb (or tickles me like mad).
Probably very late here, but from what I understand about Doxys they rumble instead of vibrate, so it doesn’t have that kind of “battering” effect.
Oh, you’re not alone. My wife, for all her sexual prowess, talents and experience, is actually real sensitive and doesn’t last long. Her only difference from you is that she can keep going for more after the first orgasm. Heck. If I prep her up right, I sometimes get rewarded with an orgasm on penetration.
That’s pretty awesome – my guy is much more likely to come while I’m coming when we shag. I would love to be able to get both of us going at exactly the same time, directly on penetration.
Oh my god – I’m not the only one! 30 secs is about it and I get incredibly
Oh my god – it’s not just me! 30 secs is about it and I get very frustrated if it takes longer than that. I do indulge though – as it’s so quick from start to finish, I’ll knock out 5 or 6 in a session. Downside is that I find sex rather slow as a means to orgasm; I’ve never enjoyed the long slow fuck, lots of short ones, great!
Hooray! So glad I’m not the only one! It took me a while to get used to sex taking longer as well. Glad I have found a fellow speed demon =)
Likewise, I thought it was a “girl thing” until I compared notes in college! I take three minutes on a long day but if I’m having a lazy Saturday I can climax roughly 4 times with a shorter time start to finish for each session. Once my clit is already sensitive, you know…
Of course there’s some time between but the last one often ends with an orgasm so intense that I have to shower before I feel weird.
As a bloke, I find that normally (i.e. if I’ve been having sex or masturbating regularly) a quick wank’s about 5 minutes. That’s from hand on, to hand off. However, I can stretch it out if I want. However, if it’s been a while, then it can go much quicker.
Also, if I get to the almost stage, I’m not about to wander off and do something else. I’ll be finishing the job…
Personally it takes me bloody ages, to the point of being annoying. It might be something to do with the fact that I often barely realise I’ve started. If I’m alone and reading and or watching something that gets me in the right mood I’ll start gently stroking myself without even realising it.
After that it usually takes north of an hour and by the end I’m at the ‘oh god just let it end’ phase. Take tonight for example. As I write this it’s a little after ten and I probably won’t get to sleep until half eleven. It’s even more annoying when I’m with a woman, I end up apologising for taking so long.
I’ve always called the super quick 30 second type ones utility wanks; I may re name them countdown wanks. They tend to be when something I’ve read/seen/heard/imagined has got me super horny. In other circumstances, the “oh, I think I’ll have a wank” wank, it’s rarely more than 3 or 4 minutes. I like to think that my time efficient wanks compensate for my total lack of time management in all other aspects of life.
Delurking.
I’m exactly like you if it’s just me and my hands or vibrator. Then I discovered handheld shower heads. Sometimes that takes ten minutes, sometimes an hour. I think it somehow edges me naturally, because it can be really hard to come that way, but the climaxes are so much more powerful. I go a little bit deaf and wobbly-kneed afterwards.
It is a matter of luck whether you get water pressure and a shower head that work for you. I think mine work better after they’re older, maybe because it’s actually several little jets spraying crooked and converging. Pool jacuzzis work too, but how often do we get to use those in privacy? :)
Oooh, that’s really interesting – I’ve never had a concerted go with a shower head but I might have to try. I like wanks that leave me weak at the knees afterwards, although sadly I don’t get many because I’m normally a bit too quick. With a Doxy I’ll get a much more intense feeling, because it’s so different – I wonder if water pressure works in a similar way, because it’s kind of rumbling across the whole area rather than simply directly stimulating. This requires science. I’ll have to do some science.
Thank you for de-lurking!
I only just saw your reply! I had not heard of the Doxy. Thank you! The price tag is going to keep me away for now, but how intriguing.
My wife can also climax in just a few seconds. We can kiss and she’ll come in the middle of kissing. She can even climax by simply thinking about it which is unreal to watch. But that’s her downfall as she will come over and over until she is exhausted from climaxing. Towards the end, it will be one long climax as one climax will start as the previous one is dying off.
Jesus. I am so jealous – that sounds phenomenal.
…holy shit, did someone other than me just use the word “downfall” correctly rather than abusing it as a synonym for “downside?” My mood actually improved measurably. :3
Also, that sounds awesome…
Haha, I get equally excited when someone uses the term “begs the question” correctly.
How long does it take you, when being manually stimulated by a partner who knows what they’re doing? Is it similar, or is it markedly different?
Very different – also very different if I’m doing it in front of someone, as I get stagefright =) If it’s a partner who knows me super-well, then maybe 5-10 minutes, but only if I’ve given them direction. Also, weirdly, I find I can come quicker if I’m being wanked off if I’m also wanking them off. Possibly something about my brain and/or muscle memory that associates quick hand movements with the onset of orgasm? The human body is a fascinating thing.
I was checking out of a hotel once where I had bought a pay-per-view porn movie. The receptionist tapped away on her computer before frowning in a concerned way and saying: “Oh, I see you started watching a movie but only watched it for 2 minutes. Was there a problem?” Thinking fast, I mumbled something about it not being the movie I thought it was. “Oh, well you shouldn’t have to pay for that,” she said, taking the movie off my bill. Only time a really quick wank has saved me money.
A lot depends on my mood. If I’m seriously frustrated and just want to get off, I can get there in under a minute. Sometimes though, I want to luxuriate in it and can devote an hour to an hour and a half. Granted, in these extended sessions, I’ll cum more than once. I think the longest I’ve managed to “deny” myself an orgasm for, when wanking, is about 20 minutes, but to be fair, I wasn’t really paying any attention to the clock…
Katie xxx
I think the act of beating it off and the act of banging is more important than simply going for the climax. Now, the climax is important and very much needed, but the journey makes it enjoyable.
Except I’m at a bit of a crossroads here. When I’m done beating it, my -ahem- tip kinda aches a bit. The tip is always the most sensitive part of a man, so when I’m done, it’s throbs more, as if screaming “Please do it again!” even though my knees are tired.
Like, right now, in fact, it’s throbbing after I took some private time while checking out the legs of an anime girl. The tip aches for more, but it’s equal parts painful and pleasurable. >///<
I know one girl like yourself that can get herself off extremely quickly, I do play with her cam to cam. The nice part about it is that after she cums, she can start again, and get off quickly again.
As most men we don’t have the quick recovery time as a woman. So while we play cam to cam i do edge myself. It is hard to do, but this one girl can cum a minimun of five times. So I wait and torture my cock so when she is cumming at what I think would be the final time I finally shoot a load. She appreciates me waiting for her.
Normally if i am just by myself either reading erotic works or watching clips of porn I try to keep myself from cumming until a time when what i am reading or watching is so hot i cannot hold back.
Thirty seconds is quite amazing, but if i may ask a question.
If your with a partner and start having sex, do you also cum that quickly or is it just when your toying with yourself :)
Thanks for your story
Len
xoxox
Heya – good question, but no I don’t come nearly as quickly from sex (although with the right position I can come relatively easily). I think one of the reasons I can speed wank so efficiently is simply because it’s exactly the type of stimulation I like best, at exactly the right speed, rhythm, etc. Sex is more complicated because there’s loads more going on – so more stuff is getting stimulated, which makes the orgasm different (and makes it feel more cunt-based than a straight clit-based wanking orgasm) and also means it takes a bit longer.
It’s really different for me depending if I’m on my front or my back. On my front is faster, the end result is much deeper and better and I can get to the edge and stop (but only once- I’m not *that* strong-willed!) On my back is slower and I have to be reading something in order for it to work (like the guest blog after this one) or using a vibrator. I would say 2 mins for the first one, 4-5 for the second.
I come often during sex but can’t come quickly.
However, as a teen, I had my first orgasm doing sit ups. It seems to be just the repeated tensing of the pelvic floor that does it, although due to my gynae issues I can’t manage any more than millisecond squeezes these days. They’re solid inside, like bone, so I guess they’re already tensed.
Oh well. There’s something to be said for the build up.
Oh, and I can’t come unless I clench all my muscles down there – anyone else find that?
Normally I can make myself cum during a commercial break. The only time I’ve spent days edging has been while incredibly high. I enjoyed eating away hours getting drier into the bate in those times, but ain’t nobody got time for that normally
You’re not alone! At an office I used to work at, there was a long mirror with a counter ledge in front of it between the main door and the sinks in the ladies room. It was the perfect height for my clit and I’d press myself against it to make myself come, (clothed, of course) listening all the while for someone’s hand on the door so I could step back and act like I was fixing my hair before they swung it open. It never took more than 30 seconds. While I can draw it out a bit, there is something so lovely and efficient about a speedy orgasm.