This sex toy gave me ten years of extraordinary service

My first long-term relationship lasted 8 years, give or take – we had a fair few yo-yo break-ups towards the end. My most recent long-term relationship managed 9 years in total. But if measured by length of time, the longest sexual relationship I’ve ever had is not with a man, but a sex toy – my favourite ever wand.

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The fuck referral network: how to get recommended

The jury is no longer out on why Pete Davidson gets to shag so many incredibly hot A-list celebrity women. For a long time, the rumour was that he had a giant cock or some incredible sexual skill that no one else could possibly have mastered. But nowadays it’s accepted (at least, in the circles I run in) that the reason PD gets so much A is because he’s a decent bloke.

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Guest blog: The best sex of our lives took a decade to perfect

I am so excited to welcome Tess back to the guest blog! Her first piece was (and still is) one of my favourite ever sex toy posts. She tested out the Hot Octopuss PULSE (an incredible oscillating penis vibrator that can be used hands-free) to see if she could have an orgasm while playing computer games, and naturally ‘horny nerd stuff’ is very much  my cup of tea. Today she’s back with a blog that’s equally creative, even hotter, and comes with a really important lesson: the best sex doesn’t always happen spontaneously, the way a lot of media (my own porn often included!) might have you believe. Sometimes the best sex is a decade in the making, because the fuck itself rests on foundations of connection and understanding that are built over many many years. Thank you so much to Tess for sharing this stunning shag!

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Guest blog: Gender-affirming ways to fuck as a woman with a penis

As I mentioned last week, I had a whole bunch of amazing pitches in for International Women’s Day, so here on the blog it’s going to be International Women’s… month and a bit, until about mid-April. YAY. Today’s fabulous guest blog hits two of my absolute favourite things, genuinely useful and cool education plus outrageously horny sex ideas. Jenny – who blogs at SymTrkl here and posts on Mastodon here – is a trans woman and sexually creative badass, and she’s here to share with you some top tips on overcoming gender dysphoria in the bedroom. Basically, how to embrace your femininity while fucking as a woman with a penis. Take it away Jenny…

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Surreptitious fucking on the Victoria Line

Continuing the series of erotic fiction set on tube trains (I heart TfL), here’s some aching, surreptitious fucking on the Victoria Line. Note that this story is fiction. Don’t do it in real life. 

The carriage is already rammed by the time we get on – him, me, a few friends. All of us slightly tipsy from the gig, but eager to continue the night back home in Walthamstow. Home, where the booze has been pre-bought from Tesco and we don’t have to queue behind Gen Z amateurs at the bar. The train is packed by the time we get on but we squeeze down to the end of the carriage anyway. When someone gets up to push past us, in deference to his ever-present backache I offer my boyfriend the seat. Then, because my feet are hurting and I’m a little bit pissed, I sit on his lap.

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  • About Girl on the Net

    Girl on the Net is a London-based sex blogger – she writes explicit sex stories, so please consider this whole site NSFW. Alongside real-life sex stories, expect posts about feminism, porn, mental health, and fascinating fetishes. Now one of the biggest sex blogs in the UK, Girl on the Net began sex blogging in September 2011, so feel free to dig through the archive and find out just how ignorant and/or clumsy she was when she first began. If you're an aspiring sex blogger, check out these tips on how to start a sex blog.