Girl on the Net

Is it that time again already? It comes round quicker with each year that passes and there is literally science to prove that I’m right. Whatever. It’s nearly Christmas, so if you’re looking to pick up something sexy for someone in your life who has a penchant for pervery, I have spent a happy afternoon browsing around the websites of the lovely companies who are kind enough to sponsor this blog so I can nudge you in the direction of a few things you might consider buying. Here’s a Christmas gift guide for kinky people…

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When I was young, my family used to be big followers of soaps: Neighbours, Eastenders, Coronation Street. I can’t remember what else there was to do on evenings in the nineties besides yell things at the telly as ludicrous fictional characters cocked up their lives in ever more creative ways. Perhaps this is testament to how my Mum raised me, but when I watched soaps, the thing that got me most irate was how terrible people were at just fucking talking to each other. 

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When I first requested a cute little butt plug starter kit from my site sponsor WhippleTickle (seamless promo, well done me) I had a plan in mind: I knew exactly who I’d use it with, and how. But for reasons I’ll explain later, that won’t happen now. So I basically have two options if I want to fulfill my promise to one of the kind companies that helps keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. I could write you a straight-up review where I give this product marks out of ten based on basic details or… write two thousand words of horny butt plug porn then chuck a link and discount at the end for you to click when you’re all done wanking. And… you know… have you met me?

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As is my custom, when Jenby emailed to let me know she had a new pitch for a guest blog, I immediately squealed with delight. If you’re new here, you should know that Jenby (aka @JenetalTorture on Twitter) is the most prolific guest blogger on this site, and she’s also recorded some of her outrageously hot adventures as audio porn. I am always grateful to her for introducing me to cool new kinks – bimbofication, surveillance, twinning, lactation and lots more. Today she is here to share a kickass, horny and playful story about going to a high protocol kink event. What exactly does ‘high protocol’ involve? Will it be seriousness all the way down? Over to her…

The following piece contains needle play, BDSM, whipping/flogging, the use of ‘slave’ in a kink context, piss, trampling and electroplay. 

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There’s never a bad time to hear this, right? You deserve to be loved. I don’t mean, in a basic way, that you as an individual are entitled to romantic love, or sex or companionship or whatever: those things can only be given freely, if other individuals choose. I mean that you deserve to be treated with love, by those who say they feel it. You deserve to be loved by them in practice, not just words.

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