Girl on the Net

I am positively gleeful about today’s guest blog, team – it’s a gloriously sexy celebration of power and strength and softness and grappling sexily until your opponent submits. Courtesy of the fabulous Bunny Harper, who is here to talk about erotic wrestling, and how a sport she had once been pushed out of became something she reclaimed with eroticism and power. I adore this piece, and I know many of you will too – check out Bunny’s blog here and read her amazing piece on erotic wrestling below!

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I’m so delighted to welcome this guest blogger back – he wrote a fabulous post towards the end of last year about sex and disability, and the value of focusing more on a sexual journey than the destination. It’s a gorgeous piece, please do check it out. Today he’s back with a recommendation – an idea for a playful use of sex tech that could help some people defeat that pernicious inner voice that whispers about inadequacy. Because sometimes sex toys really are ‘toys’ – they help us understand that sex is supposed to be fun. And while we’re having fun, that inner voice sometimes goes quiet…

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I read this one to Patreons in December, and it’s long, so here’s this post as audio if you prefer.

I have a message here for men. And before I get stuck into it, I’ll clarify (as I always have to) that obviously I don’t mean all men. In fact this time I don’t even mean ‘most’ men. I am speaking very precisely to single, straight/bi/pan men in London between the ages of about 30 and 50. My message is this: up your game.

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As a massive hedonist, I want you to find your joy. No one else in your life can ever have your happiness as their top priority (which is right – only you can truly know all the things that will bring you pleasure), so it probably needs to be a high priority for you. Around this time of year, some of you will likely have broken – or be about to break – one or more of the punitive resolutions you set yourself on the first of January. Restricting pleasure or causing yourself pain in the name of self improvement. I’m not qualified to tell you how to live a healthy or virtuous life, but if you want to make resolutions you can stick to, I have a few tips from the hedonist gutter that might help you set ones you’re less inclined to break.

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Usually when I split up with someone, I’ll wallow in wistful nostalgia and take a little time to say goodbye. I’ll be gutted, of course, but sadness is familiar and life has helpfully taught me that it will pass. This time it’s different: I’ve found myself frightened and destabilised – turning fear and despair inwards till the panic of it starts to choke me. Life goes on, though! Unfortunately, it kind of has to! Despite my most fervent wishes, I am not allowed to just shut down all my organs and give up the ghost! This is partly because my lovely friends won’t let me. Here are eight things I have been offered by kind people who want to comfort me in the darkness.

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