Those who enjoy a good BDSM beating understand that there’s a hierarchy of stinging pain. To those who aren’t into it, a general aversion to being whacked by your partner in the throes of passion probably extends to all the different forms of whacking: belt, cane, hand, crop, paddle. If it hurts and you don’t like it, you probably don’t want to think about which exact method you dislike the least.
But for perverts like me, who really like it, there is often a distinct hierarchy – those implements that deliver exactly the kind of pain you like best, delivered in the method which most makes you want to writhe in joyous ecstasy. With all the traditional content warnings and caveats that come with any BDSM blog post
(Not everyone likes it! But it’s totally my kind of thing! Everything I do involving BDSM beating is done with the enthusiastic consent of all parties involved! Please don’t read this if you find discussion of consensual pain uncomfortable!) here is my list of top five painful BDSM tools…
Cane
This is at the bottom of the list, and I’m a bit sad about that. I love the idea of the cane. I love the sound it makes – whisssh/tssh – and I love the bright red stripes a decent cane creates on my bum. I love the faint echo of old-fashioned schooldays about it, and the role-play possibilities. The idea that a caning is truly a punishment for some invented or overblown slight, and that in order to receive it I have to bend down and touch my toes, complying wholeheartedly with the requests of my pretend ‘teacher’. All that and more is lovely.
I just hate the feeling.
It’s too harsh – the sting bites into me and makes me yelp. The burning tssh, even when the cane is wielded pretty lightly, is agonising enough that I can only take three or four strokes before deciding I’ve had enough. And that’s my main problem with it: I enjoy the atmosphere and the build-up, but the pain is so bad it has to stop too soon.
Paddle/hairbrush
Superior to the cane not only in how it feels but in surface area. I have been blessed with a pretty large arse – if I’m getting beaten then I want to experience as much of the beating as possible. Paddles and hairbrushes are pleasurably sizeable, as well as being substantial enough that they make an excellent noise, like waves slapping onto the beach.
As with the cane there are specific role-play connotations too. When I was younger I watched a film, or a TV programme, or possibly I just had a fantasy so vivid that I’m remembering it as a visual thing, in which a guy comes home to find his girlfriend has done something trivially wrong and – with a glint in his eye and her be-knickered bottom sashaying across his eyeline, picks up a hairbrush and slaps it hard into the palm of his hand. She grins and plays up, telling him she’s done some very bad things. What follows is a beating all over: on her arse, her stomach, her tits… and with every stroke he gets fiercer, with every stroke both of them start to realise just how much they’re enjoying it.
Now that I think about it, it almost certainly just happened in my head.
Riding crop
Why the fuck are horses sexy? I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. Don’t get me wrong: I do not want to fuck one. Nor do I really want to be one. I know some people are super-into pony play (and if you’re one of them and you can write me a hot guest blog about it I’ll love you forever) but pony-play itself has never really appealed to me.
I find the whole horse thing sexy, though, and for want of a better explanation I feel it might be something to do with the accoutrements: jodhpurs, riding boots, leather harnesses, and of course – riding crops. Crops sting a bit like canes do, but in a softer way – with leather and love. There’s also the knowledge that they’re very overtly a correctional/encouraging item to induce someone (or some horse) to do something better.
I’m not explaining this very well, am I? Here’s an example: guy lounging casually on the sofa, cock stiff and aching. He grips my head with one hand and pushes it down onto his dick. As I’m sucking him enthusiastically, trying to push as much of him into my mouth as possible, he tells me to pull down my jeans and knickers so that he can urge me into better performance by whacking my arse with a riding crop.
Canvas belt
No sound in the world is better than that of a horny guy sliding his belt out through the loops of his jeans. Leather belts and straps are excellent, but while I love them they suffer similar problems to the cane: they just hurt too much. Shortly after the few strokes, just as I’m beginning to melt into the warmth and joy of a sound thrashing, the pain becomes too much for me to bear and I have to stop as the best bits are just beginning.
Canvas belts, on the other hand, are softer and gentler. This doesn’t mean they don’t hurt, but that they hurt to exactly the right degree. I can be a bad girl for three strokes of the leather belt, but with canvas I can be a bad girl for hours. OK, minutes. Basically as long as it takes to go from ‘knickers down’ to ‘oh God please let’s fuck now.’
Leather/suede flogger
Heavy, thudding strokes, with the whoosh that signals each one’s coming: suede floggers are the best of the best. They are good not just on my arse, but on my stomach, my back, my tits. Biting strips of leather slapping against my nipples: yes. They hurt in a solid, rough way – covering large areas of my skin with tingling pain. But the sensation here is probably secondary when i consider just why I love them so: the best thing about a flogger is that you can wield it with a fair bit of power without causing too much damage.
In short, I love suede floggers because when he beats me with one he can really put his back into it.
10 Comments
On the very day my girl and I decided to invest in a flogger and from Bondara too… I hope it’s as good as you say.
Nice one! I hope you bought it via my site so I get the credit =)
Also, if it’s your first go with a flogger together I thoroughly recommend the pain scale – start gently and get recipient to give you a 1-10 scale of how much it hurts. Gives you a good idea of a) how easy you need to go and, more interestingly b) how much more oomph you can put in.
Didn’t get around to it in the end; got deliciously distracted but will do tonight and click through from here (assume that’s how you get credit?).
It is, yep! And enjoy =)
Floggers – god, yes. I love the noise they make… And the feeling is incredible. Hhnnnrghgh.
I’m getting static behind my neck when I hear those noise!
Ah, I’ve always cane-type implements work better across muscular bits like thighs than the arse.
I think that’s my thing, though – of I’m eanking this, it’s as much about where I’m being hit as with what. While I ADORE them on my upper back, a flogger or single-tail across my inner thigh results in an, “ow, bloody hell, no.” Same thing with a riding crop or a cane? More of a gasp and a, “Thank you, sir.”
But, mmm. Belts. Yes. You’re so right about belts.
Mmmmm floggers. For me the thing that’s so hot about them is that they are soft and you can gently trail them over my body, teasing me with the knowledge that this feels so delicious yet pain is to come. Also love the sound that they make. And, as you say, sustaining a good flogging is slightly easier so lasts longer. And in more intimate places. Mmmmm.
Here in Scotland, if you are of a certain age, the tawse will evoke powerful memories & feelings. The very specific pain it imparts is exquisite, & harsh.
It is possible to buy original tawses – the Lochgelly is the pièce de résistance – but they can be prohibitively expensive.
I commissioned a new tawse to be made for my lover, by a company in Renfrewshire. There was a particular pleasure from the gorgeous humiliation my lover enjoyed when she learnt that the maker & I had been discussing her…precise needs.
The feel, the flex, the texture, the heady smell, of the thick leather of the tawse complements perfectly its gift of harsh pain.
Just hands! Oh god, I love just using my hands. They leave beautiful prints. Using one to pin and hold and grip whilst beating with the other makes the point they’re versatile. Rolling up your sleeves beforehand in preparation whilst she bites her lip.beinf able to go at a moment’s notice without fussing under the bed looking for the flogger. Being able to adjust from a cupped palm to stiffened fingers to change the noise and feeling.. I could go on for hours.
Also, there’s to feeling quite like the next morning, waking up with aching arms and bruised fingers, the sign of a job well done.