Girl on the Net

I’m a very enthusiastic cocksucker: I enjoy the art of giving blow jobs (and yes, sucking dick is an art thanks very much). My partner is exceptionally good at receiving blow jobs. When I mentioned this on Twitter the other day a few people responded by saying they wished they’d picked up that particular life skill. Some of them were joking, but I don’t care, because it’s an excellent excuse for me to point out that getting your dick sucked actually is a skill. And it’s one you can learn, with practice. Here’s a quick guide to receiving blow jobs.

How to have your dick sucked

Positioning/comfort

Positioning oneself – whether it’s removing your own clothes or angling your legs or suggesting a move from bed to sofa – is an important aspect of getting your dick sucked.

In the wrong position, I get a sore neck and I suck dick very badly. In the right position, I’m free to use both my hands and my mouth as well as adjust my sitting position to get everything going at just the right pace. I’m free to change the tempo, and I don’t have to race my way through it just to make sure he spaffs in my mouth before I get cramp. My partner will notice if I’m fidgeting and changing position, or getting frustrated that my hair keeps getting in the way, and respond by either shifting his position or holding my hair back or growling ‘wanna move this to the office chair instead?’ depending on what’s necessary.

Boring-but-obvious point: his comfort makes for a more fun blow job too. I know that for some people, the act of getting their dick sucked is such a rare and precious thing that they don’t want to break the spell by requesting a scene change. But I think it’s worth it. When my other half fusses with the positioning, it shows me that he’s fully engaged in the process, and that he wants to make the most of what’s happening. If I’m going to spend a significant period of time doing lovely things to his junk, I don’t want him distracted by pins and needles or a sofa cushion placed at an awkward angle.

Noises and appreciation

If I am sucking dick, the last thing I want to hear is silence. I want those moany noises – the appreciative ‘mmms’ and ‘aaahs’ as I change tempo or increase suction. I want to hear grunts as the head of his dick touches the back of my throat, or happy sighs as the ridge of the head of his cock catches briefly on my soft palate.

You could argue that these noises are simply a by-product of my dick-sucking, but you would be wrong. They aren’t purely instinctive reaction, they’re also deliberately emphasised. Natural noises, but dialled up to 11, serving both as a guide to help me in my dicksucking endeavours and a performance for me to savour while I work.

Visuals

Performance isn’t limited to noises: visuals are important here too. If I look up, I want to see my partner either staring down at me in wonder as I work my magic, or with eyes closed and jaw quivering as he savours every second of what’s going on.

Ideally I don’t want him to make too much eye contact, because that makes me feel like we’re trapped in the middle of a staring match. But I know that he likes a bit of it, so we throw it in occasionally alongside some of my own favourites: sultry looks, sexy faces, eyes-closed-like-he’s-seeing-the-face-of-God… you know the drill.

Comments

I appreciate being told, while I’m sucking dick, just how good I am at doing it. My partner isn’t just a passive observer, sitting back and watching the action: he’s an active cheerleader, supporting my every effort. Some people may not respond well to a ‘good girl’ grunted five seconds before orgasm, but I certainly do. Alongside ‘filthy girl’, ‘good slut’ and a growl of ‘that’s it’ when I do something especially brilliant.

Gestures/touch

Few things on this planet are more pleasurable for me than someone grabbing my hair and shoving my face down onto their dick. Unless, perhaps, it’s someone pinching their own nipples or reaching down to slip a hand into my top. Or maybe pulling a belt from their jeans which have been hastily discarded nearby, and beating me to make me suck harder.

I appreciate that I am not the Platonic ideal of blow-job-givers, though. What works for me won’t necessarily work for your cocksucker, so please do not stop reading here, continue to the most important section at the end.

Orgasm/ejaculation

When he’s about to come, I want to know about it. I don’t want his ejaculation to come as a surprise – a sudden yelp to break an otherwise stone-cold silence. Apart from anything else, it would mean he hadn’t been paying appropriate attention to part 2 of this guide: noises. More importantly, though, if I’m sucking your dick really well then this final climax is really important. I want to be ready for it. I need to savour the fruits of my efforts.

I’ve worked hard for this. I’ve put the time in. It’s the final episode of a really sexy box set and I don’t want it to finish with a whimper. Unless it’s the right kind of whimper.

Getting your dick sucked is not a passive act

There’s a reason I’ve framed this as ‘I’ and ‘him’: I don’t guarantee that any of the specifics mentioned in this post will work for you, and in fact it would shock me if all these tips worked for anyone. As with all sex tips, they’re meant to be ideas you can riff off, not instructions to follow like you’re building an Ikea cabinet.

My partner and I have done a lot of dick-sucking together. I am very good at blowing him, and he’s very good at getting blown by me. We have carefully honed our blow job skills over many years, with the result that we’re now an excellent cocksucking team. That doesn’t mean that either of our skills would translate to other people, though, because other people enjoy different things.

So the most important thing to remember before you go about getting your dick sucked is that it doesn’t come with a script: it’s improv. And collaboration is key.

Some cocksuckers will be massively put off by your hot noises/growls of ‘good slut’. Some will be horrified if you try to grab their hair. Others would prefer gentle strokes and soft moans to the more aggressive moves that I enjoy, and most will have different preferences depending on their mood, the time of day, and how recently they’ve forked out fifty quid at a salon for a cut-and-blow-dry. You can’t just copy what my guy does, because my guy’s improvising with me.

Not a single one of the things I’ve mentioned above is worth a damn if you do not communicate. If you want to get your dick sucked well, you need to work out what your cocksucker’s preferences are in relation to all the points on the list above, as well as recognise that they may have ideas for new points that I haven’t yet imagined. The best blow job recipient will listen to what they like and hone their responses accordingly, just as your cocksucker is hopefully listening to your happy noises/comments/communication and adjusting the blow job in return.

The key to receiving a good suck job is the same as the key to giving one: communicate, adapt, develop, enthuse, and above all remember that you aren’t doing this alone. Getting your dick sucked sometimes seems like a passive act, but it’s more fun if you approach it as a team.

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