Sometimes I sit down and try to write something good, but nothing good springs to mind so instead I write a 400 word poem about fucking. Enjoy! Or don’t! It’s entirely pointless and silly!
Fucking
I met a guy from Battersea
Who wanted to make love to me
I told him “Love? It cannot be:
Dude, what I like is fucking.
Though ‘shagging’ seems a decent word
And ‘banging’s very often heard,
‘Making love’ is quite absurd
So please let’s call it fucking.
By ‘fucking’ I don’t mean that thing
Where you just stick your penis in
And out and in and out and in
I mean a proper rutting.
All grabby hands and grunts and moans,
That’s what I wank to on my own.
Here, watch this porn to set the tone:
That’s what I mean by fucking.
Nice and hard and full and deep
And brutal, till I almost weep
Yes, lube me up and make me shriek
Then shove a pillow over my face to silence the noise because you need me to be a really good, quiet girl while you come, yeah?
Where was I? Oh…
Just choke me, slap me, call me bitch
And when you’re done, say ‘thanks’ then spit
Quite hard onto my back or tits
Or whichever hole your spunk’s in.
See, fucking doesn’t have to be
Just P-in-A or PIV
A fuck can set a tone, you see.
A state of mind: that’s fucking.
‘A fuck’ is not the same as ‘sex’
It’s a way to do the good stuff best
The way that makes my cunt most wet
Not love, not sex, but fucking.
Don’t hold me gently in your arms
Or whisper words to keep me calm
My body’s yours to reprimand
Please tame it with a fucking.
Don’t touch me gently like you care
Don’t hold my hand or stroke my hair
Or slowly peel my underwear
Let’s just get down to fucking.
Cos if you look into my eyes,
Run soft-tipped fingers up my thighs
You’ll only conjure half-bored sighs
I’d rather we were fucking.
You’ll fuck me with your hands and lips
I’ll fuck you when I suck your dick
Or fuck you with my fingertips
All hard and rough: that’s fucking.
Or bend right over, beg for pain
And whimper as I wield the cane
Then switch and make me take the same
Vicious, swift: that’s fucking.
This isn’t just a horny front
I really am this brash and blunt.
I want you to destroy my cunt:
That’s what I mean by ‘fucking.'”
At that the guy from Battersea
Edged rapidly away from me
And told me ‘Woman, leave me be
You’re too obsessed with fucking.’
This post was written for Kink of the Week, which this week is (you guessed it!) fucking. Click on the image below to read everyone else’s posts about fucking, and Molly please accept my apologies that I couldn’t come up with a better one for this kink. Fucking – the true love of my actual life – deserved better, so much better.
If you happen to like shit poetry, you can also go to the poetry tag to read more silly, filthy rhymes I’ve written when I can’t write anything of use.
14 Comments
chuckled the whole way through, thoroughly enjoyed the fucking.
Thanks fuzzy =)
God that was brilliant.
Besides being awesome poem/porn its also a pretty good About Me that you’ve written there. A very succinct account of your back catalogue.
New port laureate?
Love it!
I can almost imagine the late, great Victoria Wood sitting at the piano and belting this ditty out 🙃
Haha fuck well, that is one hell of a compliment but she was SO SO MUCH BETTER. I still to this day jump to Barry and Freda when I need a little cheer-up =) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSBuPTLh8BE
I LIKE IT! You FEEL it, or your pen would have run dry. I bet you had an English lit class back in Secondary School where you had to get up and read your work in front of the class. They would still be talking about YOU!
Good for an Xmas present. Gold ink on black paper. Signed off….If you are up to it? Also, it would be easy to regift should the recipient be unfit physically for the task which you have offered.
Clever, funny and hot. Read it out loud but kept having to stop for a ‘hell yeah’ or ‘ummph’. Thank you x
Actually thought of this one when I read yours, so seeing someone else comment on other songs/poetry inspired me to find it again and link it as well as Victoria the Great: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmV5Ry4LdZQ
Loved it!
Entertaining in more ways than one. You truly are a complete dirtbag, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Oh god I fucking LOVE the word dirtbag, would very much like to earn that title more often =)
Absolutely fucking brilliant!