As part of my run of getting sex toy blog posts written up so you know what to buy before Christmas, let’s get stuck into this quickly so you’ve plenty of time to shove one in your basket. There are two things I love about the Pillow Talk Sassy vibe (kindly sent to me by my site sponsor The Pleasure Garden). The first is its simplicity. The second is that when I first had a wank with it, I came in under thirty seconds.
Before we get stuck in, the sponsor bit: the Pillow Talk Sassy was provided to me for free by The Pleasure Garden, in exchange for me writing about it if I liked it. I very much do like it, so if you want one of your own go pick it up for the extremely reasonable (in my opinion) price of £42.99, and use the code GOTN10 to get an extra 10% off.
Let’s begin with simplicity: there’s one big button on the bottom of this vibrator, and it has a crystal on. The packaging is hilariously (and adorably) proud of this. “Dazzles with Swarovski™ crystal!”, the box proclaims, as if customers have all been craving the kind of razzle-dazzle that just slaps crystals onto buttons, and we’ll swoon with joy at finally being treated like the luxury bitches we truly are. It’s cute, I love it. Important note: the crystal is on the button, not in the end that goes in your vag. The former is a lovely bit of bling, the latter would be a monstrous nightmare.
So: one button, very easy to find with your fingers because the crystal stands out from the base, and to turn the toy on you just… press the button. To turn it up, you press and hold the button until you’ve reached the intensity you like. To turn it off? Press the button again!
I cannot rave to you enough about just how much joy this brings me. As someone who doesn’t have time to fully bond with people I’m fucking before I fuck them, I want to be able to hand someone a vibe without having to also give them a training course. The Sassy absolutely nails this, and its simplicity means it may even oust the Hot Octopuss Kurve (an extremely excellent vibrator) from my quick-grab ‘slut kit’. The slut kit is a collection of a select few toys that I know Do The Fucking Job but which are simple and portable enough for me to take them on assignations, and be reasonably confident that a guy who hasn’t come across them before will nevertheless be able to wield them in ways that make my cunt happy.
The Sassy ousts the Kurve. The Hot Octopuss Kurve still stays in my bedside drawer, because I’m a slag for it’s rumbly Treble & Bass vibrations. But the draw of being able to hand someone a vibe and just say ‘shove it in and press this button’ is far too tempting for me, so the Sassy is in and I shall test it like this as soon as is reasonably practical.
The simplicity wouldn’t be worth a damn, though, if it weren’t also for the fact that this vibe Does The Job.
What is the Pillow Talk Sassy like?
This is a g-spot vibe, which means it has an extremely pronounced angle at the head, designed to nudge up beautifully against your g-spot. Sidebar for people who are keen to wield a g-spot toy on me in the same way you might wield a dildo: don’t. If all you do is slide it in and out over and over like you’re ploughing my cunt, for the vast majority of each in-and-out stroke, the g-spot targeting head is not focused on my g-spot. What a waste.
Obviously every body is different and some people may enjoy this long-stroke thrusting with g-spot toys, but in my experience the best way to use them is to get them in the right place, turn on the vibes to whatever strength is most orgasmic, and then use small movements to gently tug on the g-spot. For the extremely brief 30-seconds of my first wank with this toy, the key thing I made a mental note of was just how little I needed to move the hand that was holding the Sassy in order to get it to perform its Mighty Work.
Gentle tugs. Very small movements. Almost no in-and-out whatsoever.
The Sassy isn’t so much sliding slickly back-and-forth within me, it’s just nudging at a very specific spot. Think of it like the difference between a back rub (where someone rubs their hands all over your skin) and gently massaging out a targeted knot in your shoulder (where they put a couple of fingers on the knot, press through the skin, and work it out from there). My standard wank with a non-vibrating dildo is more of the former, my wank with the Sassy (and other g-spot toys like the aforementioned Kurve) is the latter.
As I say, every body is different, and not everyone’s gonna want to be fucked like this. But if you’re trying to stimulate the g-spot, consider this technique please: I’ve spoken to other vagina owners who have said the same about fingering. Nudges/tugs but not vigorous sliding. Talk to your partner, watch them wank if they’ll let you, and see if this might be a technique to add to your portfolio. Yes, I said ‘portfolio’, sue me.
I’m getting distracted. But that’s partly because I have not much else to say about the Pillow Talk Sassy besides these things. If I had cause for complaint this post would be longer. If I’d had a longer wank this post might be longer. As it is, I did try it out a few more times after my first sub-30-second surprisingly-explosive hand shandy, and I had a lovely time each and every time. As someone who can’t come just from g-spot vibes alone, for completeness and full disclosure I should tell you that I used my Zumio on my clit simultaneously and the vibes of both toys combined really beautifully together to give me an orgasm that was at least 50% better than the ones I tend to have as standard.
What about all the extra bullshit like is it waterproof and does it come with a little bag?
I tend to leave these things out of sex toy posts because I find them agonisingly tedious, and people who know more about sex toys are gonna do a better job of the Which? Best Buy detail on each vibe. All of this info is available on the website, along with dimensions, materials (I literally would not test an insertable vibe that wasn’t body safe, and the Pleasure Garden would not sell one) and whether it’s rechargeable. But for what it’s worth, the Sassy is rechargeable and waterproof and body safe, and it comes with a little silk bag in which you can keep both the toy and the charger, but which I will inevitably lose because that’s the sort of scatterbrained fuckknuckle I am.
It’s teal, as well, which is nice because so many fucktoys are pink or purple, it’s nice to have a pop of a different colour when you’re showing off your vibes to a hot dude. I imagine.
Should you buy the Pillow Talk Sassy?
If you like g-spot stim, then yes abso-fucking-lutely. It does the job beautifully, is ridiculously simple to get to grips with, and remarkably cheap for something that packs so much punch. What’s more, if you buy it through the links on my site you’re directly supporting my work, as well as supporting The Pleasure Garden who I have a huge amount of time for, and not just because they pay me. They’re an independent, inclusive sex toy company that works really hard to make sure their site is both accessible and welcoming to people with all different types of bodies and needs. They have some great guides on sex & disability as well as guides on sex toys for trans people, and they pay sex writers for our work. I love them with my whole heart, and they are well worth a visit. They sponsor my site, but I wouldn’t be this effusive about them unless I genuinely meant it, so click the links below and buy the Pillow Talk Sassy, or whatever else your sexy heart desires.
Buy the Pillow Talk Sassy – £42.99 (and get 10% off with the code GOTN10)
If you like clit-stim like I do, the Pleasure Garden also sells the Zumio for £134.99 – discount works there too.