Girl on the Net

Ever wondered what it’s like to star in a sex blog? Or been curious to meet one of the men who’s inspired so much of the filth on these pages? Now’s your chance – this week I published an interview with one of my amazing dudes: the Bracelet Game guy.

He’s the guy who recently performed this epic struggle-fuck with me, fully tore this dress off my body and turned me into a panting wreck, picked me up, liked my tweets and was extremely understanding when I once got chewing gum stuck in a place where chewing gum is never meant to go.

It often feels weird to me when I get compliments on a particularly creative fuckscene, because I feel like most of the credit should go to the person who did it to me in the first place. This dude (the bracelet game guy), my lovely toyboy, and my hyper-confident lover especially: they’re the three people who star in this sex blog most often at the moment. They’re the ones who do the cool shit, ultimately I’m just the horny dickhead who put it into words. Without these people, this would just be the half-arsed diary of a lonely girl wanking herself insensible, running out of steam after twenty posts or so without input from the muses who keep my fuckjuice flowing.

So it’s a genuine honour to introduce you to one of them.

“I do really enjoy ripping clothes…”

I would never expect any guy to get this involved in my work any more than I’d expect to accompany them on a ‘bring a slut to work day’ in their own office, and despite exes being up for me writing about them, or interviewing them for articles, I’ve never been able to do a proper audio interview so this is a rare and precious treat for me. Come listen to the interview and hear his answers to questions my lovely team of Patreons sent in, including:

• his kinks/desires/limits and perspective on being polyamorous
• why his favourite spanking implement is the perfect combination of terrifying and nerdy-as-fuck
• how many people we reckon it’d take to make an orgy
• his perspective on our first date (and how I got him into bed), how long it took for me to tell him about my weird job, and other things that it’d never occur to me to tell you
• some bucket list things/stuff he’d like to try which leads into a fun chat where both of us go ‘ooh we should do THIS’
• the origins of the bracelet game, times we’ve played it, and variations that we want to have a go at in future
• and – of course – what it’s like to star in a sex blog

It’s hard enough for me – a professional show off – to do the chattier Patreon updates. Not having the ability to go back and edit my words with care scares the shit out of me. Most of the stuff you read here has gone through multiple edits before I hit the ‘publish’ button, so the level of vulnerability required for someone who doesn’t even do this for a living to step into the spotlight is incredible. But he’s a thoughtful, kind person who cares a lot about the things that matter, which (I hope obviously!) is a large part of why I like him so much. He’s my patient guide in polyamory, my go-to source for info on US politics, and a deeply sexy dude who I look up to both literally and metaphorically. I’m extremely lucky to have him in my life.

Come meet the Bracelet Game guy.

You can listen to it if you support me on Patreon at any level. You are welcome to join for just one month and then cancel if you like (the cheapest level is £2/$2). Although if you can stretch to an annual subscription you get a 10% discount and then even if you cancel as soon as the money’s gone through, you’ll still have access for a whole year (which means other bonuses like the ones below, and I’ll also send you a beautiful Stuart-designed Christmas card when December rolls round). So if you enjoy what I do here – the blog and/or the audio – this is a great way to chuck me a few quid to help me keep doing it.

Yes, this is a sales pitch, sorry about that

I often worry that I either do too much or too little promotion of my Patreon. Too much and you’ll get bored/annoyed, too little and some of you won’t realise that it exists until I’ve run out of money and had to shut down the blog and find a real job doing spreadsheets or whatever normal people do.

The way I try to get around this dilemma is that a few times each year I do fun bonus stuff which gives you a glimpse behind the scenes – sometimes live Zoom calls, sometimes extra stories that don’t get published here, and sometimes interviews with people in my life who bring me joy and support/inspire my work. And then I get to shout about those rather than just go ‘please help fund the audio project, I would love to commission more smut.’

It’s a tricky balance, though, because ideally I always want my content to be free. The blog itself is funded by ads, commissioned work that I do for other sites, and Patreon. As I dedicate more of my time to the audio project, I’m able to do less of the commissioned work, so I’m becoming a lot more reliant on Patreon. Bonus content like this is there to (hopefully!) give you an incentive to come join the excellent team of people who help me keep the rest of the smut on this site free-to-access. If you want to justify buying an annual sub, here are some direct links to a few of the other fun extras you’ll be able to access straight away:

• a few interviews with one of my best friends in the whole world, Jess: a thinky one about relationships and connection, a horny one where we talk about some of the hot things we’ve done, and this intro where we talk sex robots and a threesome we had when we first met that I royally fucked up, because I was a twat.
• a sex quiz that I ran for my parents, in which they try to guess what ‘sploshing’ is and what ‘WAP’ stands for, as we all steadily get Christmas levels of tipsy.
• some tentacle porn I wrote based on a Patreon prompt (which I am genuinely quite proud of – fuck yeah horny alien squid creatures!).
• all the monthly updates where I talk about behind-the-scenes stuff and often read blog posts as audio before they’re published. Some of those posts (like this one) will probably never make it to the site.
• the chance to remove all on-site ads. Just click this link while you’re logged in to Patreon and (if you’re supporting me) you should be able to remove all adverts, including the pre-roll ones on audio.

See? I always want the actual audio porn to be free to access, so I churn out these extras to make it worth your while to throw me a few quid. I’m sorry for telling you about something kickass then asking for money to access it. I hope that this awkward bit at the end of the blog post explains why. Huge thanks to all of you who support me on Patreon – those who joined for just a month or two as well as the stalwart champions who have been with me since the beginning. I hope you know how precious and astonishing you are for helping to keep this site – especially the audio project – alive.

This place would be nothing (and I would be nothing) without the amazing people who are kind enough to let me share our stories, and nothing without your support either. On Patreon or by buying sex toys if you have the cash, or by subscribing, sharing links and writing nice comments if you don’t. Big big thanks, you lovely lot. I hope you enjoy the interview.

If you’re still wavering, know that if you’re American (or in fact from any country outside the UK), your money goes a lot further today than it did a month ago, because our government is tanking the pound. Yay!