Girl on the Net

In the week or two following an awesome event, there’s usually a lot of FOMO floating around, so before I get stuck into this mammoth post-Eroticon round-up, I’m first going to urge you to subscribe for updates on the website if you haven’t already – scroll to the bottom of the page and pop your email address in, or follow Eroticon on Twitter, Instagram or Mastodon. That way, whatever comes next, you’ll be one of the first to know. Note, too, that you don’t need to be a sex blogger/erotic creative/Only Fans superstar to come to Eroticon – everyone is welcome, as long as you abide by the event behaviour policy. There are many people who are dipping their toes into the world of sex creativity, or just toying with the idea of maybe starting to do something someday. And even if you never intend to make erotic content of your own, I imagine most sex nerds will still enjoy the talks and workshops. No guarantee that you won’t have been converted into a smut creative by the end, though…

Saturday

The opening panel was an amazing way to kick things off – Dr Carolina Are, Gigi Engle, Neil Brown and Blake (AKA Pandora Blake, who runs the fabulous Dreams of Spanking) gave their thoughts on the opportunities and challenges facing online content creators in 2023, and it was such a perfect way to kick off the conference. Each panelist had unique insights into different aspects of the landscape – shadowbanning and the impact that has on creators, which platforms we should be trying out (or avoiding) when looking to promote our work, and how AI and other recent developments could affect porn and erotica. Together not only did the panel cover a huge breadth of topics, giving everyone tonnes to discuss over the course of the next two days, they also managed to balance out the challenges by highlighting incredible opportunities, such as the opportunity for better representation in adult content. As a general rule I try to avoid words like ’empowering’ and ‘inspiring’ because I think they get overused, but I do think this panel was both of those things – a group of experts with hugely varied experiences, sharing their knowledge in ways that made positive change feel possible. Top start to Eroticon, in my opinion.

Things got tougher from that moment on, though, as we were plunged into the classic dilemma of wanting to see/do everything on the schedule but sadly being unable to be in two places at once. I caught part of Ness Cooper’s super-informative workshop on becoming a sex toy brand expert, in which she gave some really useful info on courses you can do to get CPD qualifications in sex ed. These make you more appealing to brands who are looking for ambassadors, of which Ness is one – when I see her on Twitter I’m always blown away by her clarity and professionalism so it’s brilliant that she came to share her wisdom! I also caught part of Blake’s fabulous talk on understanding our fantasies and our sexual selves which was affirming, powerful, and the topic of a lot more conversation over the rest of the weekend. Blake is one of the people who held my hand (and paid me for my work!) when I first took the plunge into full-time sex writing, and the value of what they have taught me (about ethical porn, seeking out stories from marginalised voices, understanding sexual desire and shame and the damaging ways society tries to police/censor/change what we want) is absolutely incalculable. I really enjoyed the glimpse their workshop gave into what they’ve been writing about, felt nourished and happy that I got to catch up with them in the socials, and above all am super excited to read their book when it’s out!

The next session I went to was Topher Taylor’s, about embracing your slutty self, which I’ve written a lot more about in this post, and it’s also been the talk that I’ve been coming back to again and again when people ask me how Eroticon went: read more about it in this kickass thread. I was gutted to miss Dee’s workshop on inclusive language BUT I’m following them on Twitter now and just spotted that they’ve started a YouTube channel so you should do the same if you’re also sad you couldn’t make it to the con!

Likewise I missed Dr Carolina Are’s talk on shadowbanning – SAD TIMES – but that’s because I had to run a workshop and fair play, it’s quite hard to run things if you’re not in the room. My workshop was about how to perform your work, with some tips on the first steps to turn a ‘reading’ into a ‘performance’ and frankly I was pretty terrified beforehand, because the session was going to live or die based on how enthusiastically people joined in. I am now horrified that I ever doubted the amazing Eroticon attendees though, because they threw themselves right into it with energy and passion. What a bunch of heroes. By the end of the day more than a few people had come up to say they were tempted to start recording their own smutty stories as audio porn, and that makes me SO HAPPY. Accessible erotica for the win! I’ll try and get notes/a guide up online soon (I know I’ve been saying this for ages but things are super busy and I keep having to do the work that earns the money rather than this other work which is basically about spreading money around, but I will get there I promise – if it’s not up by the end of July please nag me). For now, though, here are the links to the two things I recommended at the end if you want to get set up: Audacity (it’s free!) and a Blue Yeti mic (other mics are available, but this is what I use).

Next up: lunch, which I think was sponsored by either web cam giants Chaturbate or smut community stalwarts Literotica. I’m going to credit both of them with sponsoring lunch on both days to be honest – I know that they both contributed to help make sure the event could happen, and both of these companies are incredible at supporting sex writers. It makes a huge difference and events like this literally could not happen without them.

After lunch, Neil Brown’s brilliant talk on the Online Safety Bill (aka the law of ‘there’s something I don’t like on the internet’) turned out to be the funniest of the conference – no mean feat given the legislation he was discussing was simultaneously extremely complex and horribly depressing. But making this stuff engaging is part of what makes Neil such an excellent lawyer. Along with his seemingly infinite patience and generosity (his company – decoded:legal – also sponsored the con) when it comes to helping sex writers, sex workers, and others who are impacted by terrible legislation like this. The conclusion (no need to worry too much right now, but there’ll definitely be things to worry about in future) felt almost comfortingly familiar, especially for those of us who’ve been on this merry-go-round before with the Digital Economy Bill. While I was here, though, I missed Zoe Burgess‘ session on QUEER MONSTERS which sounds like it was fascinating – I heard a lot of buzz about it in the pub later that evening so I’m looking forward to reading other people’s write-ups! I have already thoroughly enjoyed the slides…

Final talk session on Saturday and once again I was torn. I absolutely adore historian Dr Eleanor Janega – her work is powerful, accessible, and one of my go-to resources for smacking down internet bellends who like to make proclamations about What Women Like or What Women Are Like and tonnes more besides. Also, SHE’S GOT A BOOK OUT AND YOU SHOULD BUY IT. However, at this very moment I am in urgent need of a kick up the arse when it comes to productivity and organising and Getting My Shit Together work-wise, so I went to Hannah Witton‘s brilliant talk on avoiding burnout instead, which was awesome. Hannah is a YouTuber, making videos on everything sex, relationships and pleasure, and she’s also extremely good at (and delightfully nerdy about) organising your time, having boundaries, and all the things at which I am abysmally terrible. Hannah exudes professionalism, productivity and positive energy in spades and it’s always a proper treat to learn from her. She also contributed some incredibly helpful stuff to the Patreon discussion at the end of the weekend. I would say I’d like to be Hannah when I grow up except she’s younger than me, so instead I will just be grateful for her clear advice on prioritising tasks, the importance of rest, ‘personal policies’ (I will use this a lot, I swear!) and other things I desperately needed to hear.

After the sessions we had a play in the KinkLab – I’ve already told you about my fun with ElectraStim, and breaking their record for longest chain, and others have written about other bits from the lab sessions with Opal Fruit and Mactire (Madam Mayhem’s fantastic rope pic is a highlight, as is MPB Julie’s bee-rilliant wrap pic!), but for me the KinkLab is always a great time to mill around and talk to sponsors too, because I’m a really good girl person who understands that talking about the sponsors helps encourage them back next time cos they get good value for money.

Sponsor break!

LoveGivr

LoveGivr – these people are always incredible at supporting sex writers, and they’ve sponsored Eroticon for a long time, not only chipping in to help keep the conference going but also getting fully stuck into the talks and workshops. That’s why I’m massively excited about the launch of their platform – they’re aiming to provide a network/hub specifically for adult creators and brands. Designed to give us somewhere to share our work (and, crucially, the parts of it that help us make money!) without the censorship, shadowbanning and other problems that we face elsewhere like on Twitter. I am massively excited to have a proper go on it, but for now I’ve filled out my profile so you can follow me here if you’re on it!

LoveGivr, sorry I ate all your sweets on Sunday. In my defence they were excellent sweets.

The Ruby Glow

The Ruby Glow – I feel like the pictures of these should speak for themselves, but that’s because I am already very familiar with The Ruby Glow. It’s a ride-on sex toy invented by my good pal (and erotic writing hero) Tabitha Rayne. The aim of the first toy was to give people with vulvas something rumbly they could sit on while they enjoyed a smutty book: hands-free wanking, like the absolute best upgrade to ‘sitting over the engine at the back of the bus’. There are two versions – the Ruby Glow Dusk (£39.99, powered by AA batteries) and the Ruby Glow Blush (£89.99 rechargeable, waterproof, can be used as a wand or a ride-on). I have the latter and it’s fucking COOOOOOOL I should write about it – pls remind me! Now, Tabitha’s branched out into designing exquisite grind toys that follow similar principles: shaped to stimulate your clit when you sit on them, but with pretty designs that mean you can also have them on display beside your bed/on your mantelpiece. They’re called Ruby Glow Rides, and I really want the one with tentacles on. Because tentacles are fucking IN right now, sex-toy wise. Has anyone else noticed this? Tentacles are all the rage these days. This stand was heroically staffed by Hazel Mead (an incredible illustrator!) as Tabitha couldn’t be with us, and we all agreed Hazel did a phenomenal job.

Image of the fabulous Ruby Glow stand

Toii

I’m putting this one in the middle so I can tempt people to scroll down, but here ya go: Toii make absolutely stunning strap-on harnesses, and I tried one on. Voila! SO PRETTY.

A few pics from #Eroticon yesterday, starting with a shameless slag modelling one of these absolutely stunning harnesses from https://t.co/2Y9Z1wdhwH pic.twitter.com/2DXUcBRoJY

— Girl on the Net (@girlonthenet) June 11, 2023

All it needs is a Godemiche Ambit/Morpheus to complement it and a subby guy for me to wield it on. I almost bought one. I am kind of sad that I didn’t. But I am also astonishingly broke and currently not shagging anyone who’d be up for getting pegged so I had to just enjoy trying it on for a bit. If you do have someone you’re pegging right now, and you’re in the market for a seriously high-quality, beautiful strap-on that comes in gorgeous colours, check out Toii here.

The fabulous Toii stand with a selection of beautiful strap on harnesses in a variety of colours

Outlandish Creations

I don’t drink tea, only coffee. In fact, drinks-wise, I basically only imbibe three things: water, coffee and booze. And yet. When I saw that Outlandish Creations – makers of the finest sweary ceramics – were going to be at Eroticon, and I browsed their site and found a picture of none other than LADY FUCKING GAGA drinking out of one of their teacups, I figured I need to have a teacup. I want to be more Lady Gaga. So, eschewing the coffee mug marked ‘strumpet’ in favour of a teacup marked ‘slag’, I made my highly-considered purchase. Fuck it, I can always use it for Lemsip when I’m poorly. And isn’t it CUTE?! Fuck yeah.

I came to drink tea and be a slag (except I don’t actually even like tea so that helps streamline things)

The Eroticon 2023 socials!

There are socials every night of Eroticon – meet and greet drinks on Friday, a buzzing Saturday night where we all swap notes and thoughts from the talks/workshops we’ve done during the day, and then some way chiller hangouts on Sunday evening when most of us just flop into a big pile feeling emotional about the fact that it’s all over. I had so many ‘OH FUCK YEAH’ moments during the socials I’m definitely not going to remember to mention them all, but here goes with a non-exhaustive list:

Hanging with Mel, one of my favourite people on any timeline, who kindly let me bend her ear in detail about a dating story I’ve only half-told Patreon so far. Catching up with Innocent Loverboy – the OG Eroticon attendee, without whom I probably wouldn’t still be coming today, because he was great at saying hi/introducing me when I first came all the way back in 2014. He very kindly introduced me to Robyn, who I was over the fucking moon to get to meet and more than a little excited to get to nerd out with about writing. Hanging with the fabulous team from Luke and Jack is always a joy too (who I need to come visit up in Glasgow soon – and you should too if you’re in town! Their shop is amazing, their staff are knowledgeable, and they are two of the soundest people in the sex industry!). I met the lovely Madam Mayhem who I’d chatted to on Twitter as well which was a proper treat and we swapped a few stories about Terrible Internet Arseholes. I enjoyed getting to throw an extremely cliche’d ‘love your vibe’ at the amazing Focused & Filthy and FumblyPrimate (they really do have an excellent vibe, and I’m annoyed with myself that I was too shattered to be witty and fun with them at the end of the weekend). Enjoyed seeing Valery North absolutely winning Saturday night in a gorgeous red velvet gown. Catching up with two women who represent the absolute pinnacle of ‘goals’ for me: Exposing40 and E L Byrne. Both powerful, intelligent, vivacious solo-poly women who are smashing life out of the park and frankly I would love to be a bit more like both of them. Having a bit of a catch-up with MPB Julie and her husband, who definitely still have that honeymoon glow. Getting sparkled up by Amy from CoffeeAndKink and chatting audio porn and erotica with Isabelle Lauren, saying hi to Starcross and sharing jokes and war stories with Zak while she generously fed my obsession for second-hand smoke. Edited to add: fuck my LIFE I can’t believe I forgot to mention lovely @EuclideanPoint, Sub Bee and Keeper, who it was a proper treat to see after so long.

There are bound to be people here who I kick myself later for forgetting, but if I missed you and you’d like to be included please do let me know. One of the main reasons I set about writing a MAMMOTH post about ALMOST EVERYTHING I did at Eroticon 2023 is so that I can give linkjuice to as many incredible people as possible. I know it’s literally not physically possible to meet every single person at an event, and it would be fucking weird to try and do that anyway but still… I try to do it anyway. If you want to know what the socials are like for me, and Eroticon overall, this blog should hopefully give you an idea of the whirlwind of information and names and excitement that swirls around my head for the whole of the event. It’s such pure joy to get to nerd out with other writers, meet new people and catch up with sex industry friends, and also a terrifying and impossible task to capture all of it the way I’d like to. I wish I had more time to do this.

This post has taken over 2 days to write so far and it’s still not finished, and I’m trying to talk myself down from a giant panic that I’ll have missed something vital. It cannot hope to ever be exhaustive, so huge apologies if we spoke and I’ve not mentioned you in this post – if you expected a link and you don’t have one, please do tell me!

Sunday

Smug-as-fuck because I wasn’t hungover, I kicked off Sunday morning with Violet Grey – sex blogger and AUDIO PORN SCRIPTWRITER. I genuinely did not know that Violet Grey worked with my own lovely site sponsors Bloom Stories until we chatted at Eroticon, but she’s the creative mind behind some of the kickass smut you hear over there! Her session was all about balancing fantasy and reality when writing erotica, and she managed to achieve some excellent joining-in (especially for a normally-quiet Sunday morning session) by encouraging us to shout out kinks/writing inspiration. It’s a rare treat to sit in a room with some of the UK’s most creative sexual minds yelling out things they get horny for. I was gutted to miss Amy of Coffee And Kink’s talk about affiliate programs, but I heard fab things about it, and I know Amy knows her stuff because I pay her to do some of it here on my site. She’s a diamond and I am so lucky I get to work with her.

Next up, sadly I missed Michael Knight‘s (a tech expert who has given so so much of his time to sex bloggers, not to mention putting a huge amount of work into making sure that the tech for Eroticon runs smoothly!) talk on SEO, but I’m hoping to read some of the write-ups because I suspect my SEO is pretty rusty these days. I really wanted to go to Livvy’s (of Sex, Love and Videotape) talk on films though, and holy FUCK it was such an incredible journey through censorship, Hollywood and patriarchy. I particularly enjoyed this image showing the impact of censorship on the Tarzan films: skimpy costumes eventually becoming larger and more ‘modest’ as the Hays Code came into effect…

Excuse the small image, but it starts on left in 1932 with Jane discovering her sexuality and wearing skimpy animal skins, becomes more modest and wholesome through 1930s with censorship in place until 1942’s Tarzan’s NY Adventure when even Tarzan is fully clothed!! #Eroticon https://t.co/5vEwKr9IBK pic.twitter.com/gl5rJa8Rds

— The Other Livvy (@theotherlivvy) June 11, 2023

I want to bang on about this way more, but I’ll get distracted. Suffice to say, though, that I left this absolutely desperate to watch some of the films Livvy analysed, so I might have to work my way through some of her back catalogue…

Erotic readings and Sunday afternoon!

Sunday lunchtime is one of my favourite parts of Eroticon because it’s a chance for people to show off their erotic writing. What can I say? If you’re gonna have a section of your conference that’s essentially ‘eat cake and listen to porn’, then obviously that’s gonna be my favourite bit. For people who are brand new to the sex writing space, or just new to Eroticon, the readings are a fabulous chance to show off what they can do, and get a taste for how lovely (and addictive) it is speaking in front of such a welcoming crowd. JM Seaborn (who’s read some beautiful pieces for the audio project here!) read a CNC story that wove consent so neatly into the text itself that I was green with envy at the skill of it – seriously, incredible work read beautifully. Zak Jane Keir brought some delightful levity with a hilarious and playful parody of Goldilocks (and I’m now looking forward to reading ‘Eroticise This!’ – one of her collections that I bought at the book stall). Violet Grey read this stunning post that was originally a guest blog for me here: it’s stunning in writing, hearing it read aloud was orders of magnitude hotter. Quinn Rhodes brought the intensity with a fabulous gang bang story. I thoroughly enjoy how much horn Quinn has for the language as well as the fucking – one of the things I love about hearing people read their work aloud is that you can often hear which lines/words/phrases bring the writer the most pleasure. Lou Kane announced his reading by playing it down, saying it was ‘probably quite vanilla’ compared to the others, then proceeded to reach into my chest, grab my beating heart, and hold it in the palm of his hand for five solid minutes. The story was one of teasing, switchy lust and Lou told it in such softly intimate tones that I think the entire room leaned forward in our chairs, holding our breath for the moment when all that tension was released. Sublime. Masterful. I am in love with both of the characters and will be forever.

Huge kudos here should go to Victoria Blisse, who organised the readings. She’s an Eroticon stalwart and complete champion. Not only did she do the readings, she also runs the book stall, so at some point every Eroticon weekend I rock up with a handful of cash and grab all the books that take my fancy. This year’s haul is especially exciting and I’m looking forward to getting stuck in! I always love hanging out with Victoria – she’s a joy to work with (check out some of her work on the audio porn project!) and always up for joining in with the kinky stuff (she was part of our record-breaking electro chain at the Saturday kink lab which I wrote about before!). She’s also fucking lovely – welcoming and kind and open and fun. Love her. If you’re not already following her, you’re missing out: here’s Victoria on Twitter.

I bought 5 books, a notebook and a t-shirt and I will endeavour to post about them when I’ve read ’em.

Next up was a fabulous and really helpful talk from one of my favourite people in the industry – Sherryl Blu! You’ll probably know her already from her absolutely stunning audio porn, and she is also a kickass sex educator who shares advice and info on TikTok. She came along to share her experience and advice on using the platform for sex-related content, and on top of that she had some amazing tips on how one might be able to use it anonymously. I have long since given up on the idea that I’ll ever be an insta person, but I was really intrigued by the possibilities of doing short-form video content as an anon blogger – watch this space! Also follow Sherryl (on Twitter or Insta as well as TikTok in previous link) – she’s a diamond and I’m so lucky to work with her. Oh! Also, she did my favourite tweet of the whole weekend…

I took the opportunity to showcase my ‘air’ riding skills with @TabithaErotica’s @TheRubyGlow – added a lil extra sumpin sumpin with her tentacle toy😉🐙

FYI: none of the show pieces were violated…Tabitha, your stock is safe!😅

@EroticonUK pic.twitter.com/ercrTgGfNm

— S H E R R Y L (@SHERRYLsWorLD) June 13, 2023

As a general rule, the most nervewracking thing for me at Eroticon is when I have to host a panel (I always swear I’m not going to do it and then get sucked in if no one else is available), but second to that is giving a talk. Workshops are easier, because they’re vaguely like teaching, and people can join in to take a bit of the pressure off. For talks, I tend to practice giving the talk over and over and over for hours before the event until I can be sure I’m able to just give it without constantly checking my notes or breaking for water or breaking down into a shaking panic. For various reasons I was even more nervous of giving my talk on Sunday than I usually am (not least because I’d completely rewritten it the week before and had far less practice than is comfortable), so I took a bit of time after the readings to chill and go over a few bits and pieces. Which sadly meant I missed Lou Kane‘s session ‘writing bodies that don’t follow the rules’, so that’s one I’m excited to read about in other people’s write-ups, likewise Michael’s session ‘out of the nest’ about moving away from Twitter, which I’m also keen to read about so pls do send me a link if you’ve included that in your write-ups!

I’m also genuinely devastated that I didn’t manage to visit KinkCraft at all – I absolutely LOVE what they do (running workshops to teach people to craft their own kinky or subtly-smutty items!) and I’ve made some cool things with them in the past, but this time I didn’t get to do any crafting. Others have though, so go check out other people’s round-ups for photos of their handmade floggers and bracelets!

Missing some things did mean I got to finish my sweep of the sponsor stalls though, so let’s complete my mission to be a very good girl mention all the sponsors…

Sponsor break!

Spectra

Spectra! As a couple of people said, they sound like a Bond Villain but they’re actually complete HEROES. Spectra is a London-based organisation providing sexual health and wellbeing services to people from marginalised communities, especially LGBTQ+ people and sex workers. Think STI testing, peer mentoring/counselling, community breakfasts and outreach for sex workers, free condoms, info on PrEP, and loads more.

Loved meeting the Spectra team at their stand and (perhaps even better) in the pub!

WhippleTickle

I also took this opportunity to chat to WhippleTickle, who I wish I’d had a bit more time to nerd out with. They’re a new entrant to the playing field when it comes to toy companies, and they run their own in-house affiliate program (something which which definitely appeal to people who get annoyed with companies constantly switching their affiliate programs and making it so we have to do shitloads of work swapping out links). They’re aiming to provide a broad range of toys, with an emphasis on kinky things as well as the standard dildos/sheaths/vibes/lube that you’d get from more vanilla providers. And we had a fun chat about how they select which toys to stock (and crucially, why they remove toys from stock if they think they’re not good enough). They launched really recently and it seems like they have big plans, so I’m looking forward to seeing where they go and what they do next! Also, they ran a competition to see who could guess the number of condoms in a jar: I didn’t win, but I was SO FUCKING CLOSE (the total was 242, and I guessed about 212, so not bad at all but not quite close enough). Follow Whipple Tickle on Twitter here!

The result of me being a shameless merch hound at Whipple Tickle’s stand on Sunday. Thanks team!

ElectraStim

ElectraStim – I’ve already told you about the brilliant fun we had creating an electro chain of 13 people at the Saturday KinkLab, but it was also lovely to catch up with ElectraStim during some quiet downtime and plot a bit more fun stuff with them for the blog here. They’ve sponsored my website for many years so almost everything you see here at GOTN is at least in part paid for by these fabulous people. One of their missions is to educate people about estim and help to show them that just because there’s electricity involved, doesn’t mean it has to be painful, so they’re really keen to get in front of newbies. Check out this fabulous guest blog by an estim newbie about their KIX, and if you want to try electro for yourself use my discount code (GOTN) to get 10% off anything on their site.

Always a joy to hang with ElectraStim – if you get the chance to try it, grab it with both hands (to complete the circuit)

Last but by no means least are the sponsors who couldn’t join us: Sheets of San Francisco are Eroticon stalwarts, and although they sadly couldn’t be with us this year their fluidproof sheets have always been a huge hit at previous events. Honestly, if you’re into wet play/splosh/watersports/fucking really aggressively and sweatily during a heatwave or even just tactile sensations, you need to give their beautiful sheets a stroke. Godemiche couldn’t be with us either, but they also sponsor my blog here and have long been huge supporters of sex bloggers and the writing community. I adore their Ambit, and now also their Morpheus, and I know that their grind rings are HUGELY popular too, do check ’em out.

Special mention, also, to Je Joue who put some adorably gorgeous playing cards in our goodie bags – illustrated by none other than Hazel Mead (who was also there, running the Ruby Glow stand).

Beautiful playing cards from Je Joue.

I absolutely adore them – a beautiful addition to bags that also included a fucking tonne of amazing notebooks and some FREE COCK RINGS. Now all I need is someone with a cock to fuck. Men on dating sites can you please up your game, there is SO MUCH merch I need to use on you.

So much lovely stuff! Including some stuff from me! I am a sucker for a good notebook!

Sunday afternoon

Right at the end of the weekend I did a talk about building your team on Patreon. I scrapped the talk I’d written about a week before because it got too boring and stats-y, so obviously then I was terrified that the talk I actually gave was a bit too personal and not practical enough. But basically I wanted to give people an idea of how Patreon could work for sex content (as long as you read and follow their community guidelines and benefit guidelines carefully!), and why my own Patreons have been such an incredible, powerful, affirming force in my blogging life. The audio project wouldn’t exist without them, and their kindness and encouragement has helped to power me through some really tough times. Heroes, all of ’em. And I’m so chuffed to see some of the people who were there (including the fabulous Amy of Coffee and Kink!) setting up Patreon pages already! Woo!

If you’d like to join mine, it’s here: GOTN on Patreon. No pressure, but I’m told I do alright in terms of benefits/bonuses, and the June end-of-month update this month is going to be a HUGE one to take in all the behind-the-scenes stuff I’ve got to share with you. It’s been a busy month what with all the Eroticon excitement, and there’s loads more to come because next week I’m fucking off to Glastonbury to see if I can’t get fingered in a field by my festival boyfriend while Guns N Roses smash out November Rain.

Anyway! Talk done, it was time for the goodbyes and thank yous. The staff at Arlington House, of course, are always amazing (and it’s incredible that they’re up for hosting a bunch of smutty fuckers, as some of the things we do are the kinds of things other venues might baulk at!) but also worth a giant standing ovation is the lovely Nick (@teflonreturns). He’s been a fantastic welcoming presence at Eroticon ever since it moved to London and as someone who constantly misplaced her schedule, I very much appreciated him being on hand to point me towards the right room! Also, entirely separately to all the Eroticon excitement, he’d been on a trip to the London Transport Museum and he gave me a gift which is now my most prized possession: a Crossrail moquette glasses case! INCREDIBLE!

Above all – ABOVE ALL – thanks need to go to the organiser of The Whole Fucking Thing, Molly Moore. She’s been eating, sleeping, breathing, sweating and crying this Eroticon for four full years now, because it’s not just about Eroticon 2023, but everything that happened around Covid in 2020 and in those weird in-between years where no one really knew what might be possible or allowed. I know of so many incredible community events that had to be put on hold for Covid and then just disappeared – the pandemic, Brexit and cost of living crisis each represent gigantic hammer-blows and it’s astonishingly difficult to withstand one, let alone all of them. As I’m sure I’ve mentioned a few times, but feel compelled to mention again, I am no longer on the organising committee for Eroticon and this year I have done sweet fuck-all. I’ll always be an evangelist for the con, but the last time I actually helped run it I had a full-on breakdown because it was way too hard.

Molly and Michael have kept the Eroticon flag flying long after I waved a white one and gave up, and I’m so grateful that these days I get to attend and benefit from the wisdom and experience of all the amazing people who are there without the heart-shattering stress of making sure it all runs smoothly. Meeting speakers, sponsors and colleagues (current, former, and hopefully future too!), especially when so many of us are anon and can’t come to other events, is such a rare and precious treat. I’m amazed, delighted and grateful that Eroticon happened this year, and in constant awe of my friend Molly Moore for her ability to keep it going against all the odds. I hope she’s doing absolutely fuck-all right now, and soaking up the sunshine and satisfaction of a job astonishingly well done.

Thank you for everything you do, Molly <3

Everyone else: harness any FOMO you’re experiencing to power your finger to click the button and scroll down the Eroticon website, then whack your email address in and make it so you get notified about future events. Eroticon: it’s better when you come.