This fabulous true story about being primed to fuck is written by Charlotte Bayes and read as audio by Sherryl Blu. Note that this story contains some consensual choking and rough sex.
Have you ever been really really fucked? Like the type of fucking you see in films or porn, where you are just left a shell of the person you once were, and you can’t move or speak. You’ve had the world’s best orgasms and the earth has been shattered? That was my holy grail, which I obtained last week.
I was fed a massive lie growing up. The now debunked myth that men think about sex every seven seconds was hammered into my head with an anvil. I grew up in the Section 28 era in multiple Church of England Schools. Not only did that mean I wasn’t taught that it was more than OK to finger fannies, but there was a general archaic tone to the entire thing. Teachers and education videos were really driving home that men were coming for you and they only had one thing on the brain: every seven seconds, they were thinking about fucking you.
American Pie came out when I was 13 years old, and by then I had already had very clumsy, painful unfulfilling penetrative sex, but I didn’t hate it. Every part of pop culture during this pre and slightly post millennium era propelled this myth. Men were so desperate to stick their dick in something, they would literally fuck an apple pie. And this was music to my ears.
Because I too was thinking about fucking, and I think it was more than every 7 seconds. I would stick anything and everything inside my fanny. Mascara tubes, ends of hair brushes, my fingers until my vagina got so dry I had to stop and put balled up wet tissue in between my labia. You see I was creating my own little American Pie fantasy and pushing my own boundaries, but because the narrative was so focused on receiving dick there was never any mention of my clit. I was totally unaware of its existence and so were all the adolescent boys I would fuck around with.
Once I discovered my clit and not long after, sex toys, I trained myself to squirt. I loved sex and every part of it. I wanted to be fucked all day every day. My first experienced boyfriend lived up to this for a while. We had vanilla sex and it was OK. He was great at making me cum, but he still didn’t have quite the sexual appetite I had. I would end up pestering him to fuck me which is really unsexy. I knew that wasn’t right because men thought about sex every seven seconds?
My next serious boyfriend fucked me so well the first time I realised that the previous one had just been very bad at fucking. I remember so clearly because despite us both having had multiple partners by 18, I had to text my best friend Maxine to tell her – sex can actually be really good?! But again he had very little sex drive, and after the first 6 months I found myself having to ask and then be turned down for sex. I tried to spice things up with different sex toys, clit pumps, anal beads, which he loved, but the thrill of something new only lasted so long. After six years of this unfulfilling dry sex life, I started talking to the guy who was to become my ex husband. The opportunity to have wild kinky sex with someone new hadn’t ever seemed like a possibility before, and I was only 22 years old for fuck sakes. I grabbed it with two hands.
When I met my ex husband I was able to explore every avenue of kink I had always fantasised about. The sex was mind-blowing, but even then, after a while, even before the problems that started to make him my ex husband, every day sex diminished to once a week, to me using my go-to move to initiate (stroking his abdominal dip) to being swiped away. I was always the initiator in every relationship, a sex pest, to the bitter end of the relationship. I would find any excuse, make up sex, wake him up with a blow job, try threesomes, play out their extreme fantasies, anything to have the chance of some sex.
*Extremely Carrie Bradshaw voice* Was my sex drive higher than average, or were men just not as interested in sex as we were taught?
ShoeGaze Dude is kind of a rarity. I downloaded Tinder as a joke. I fully believe that Tinder is now the Plenty of Fish of the 2020’s. Full of Facebook huns and meatheads, plus very lonely older dudes with an ex-wife and what he reckons to be a flashy motor who specifies that he wants a woman without ‘visible tattoos’ or ‘dog face filters’ despite the fact no one has used one in 4 years.
ShoeGaze dude sent me a really flattering message and super liked me. When a good looking guy super likes me and I like them, in terms of oh OK you aren’t fucking disgusting and make my vagina shrivel up back, like them, it is such an ego boost. In fact there isn’t an instance of this where I haven’t fucked the super liker. I am the super liker fucker. But in this instance because it was on Tinder I legit forgot it happened.
He is older and classically handsome, you just know he loves Sonic Youth but hangs out in the pub that everyone knows as the Goth Pub, where everyone knows everyone and are still wearing their New Rocks and Bloodstock festival bands. But he looks slick. He sends me another message a week later telling me that no hard feelings if I am not interested but I should check out this horror film on Netflix because from one horror film fanatic to another, it is too good to pass up. Ego fully massaged again I reply telling him about my relationship with Tinder, then we bond over more horror films.
The chat is quick and funny and easy. He isn’t pushy or rude, which sometimes can translate into cringey but it never tips the balance. I have to disclose my long lists of illnesses which I usually do before leaning right into sex chat. This is a good way to weed out anyone who doesn’t want to fuck a chronically ill and tired, constantly in pain, extreme masochist (I know). He tells me that this absolutely does not put him off.
If you are into kink then you know what comes next is a trade off of hard limits, likes and dislikes, which can be quite clinical but with ShoeGaze Dude it was organic and fun. I wasn’t even put off by the fact he was a switch, which in the past I’ve found difficult when it comes to teasing out someone’s dominant side. Date locked down for the weekend in initial chat. Perfect. Or it was until I had such a bad fibromyalgia flare up I had to cancel ShoeGaze Dude and another guy. It is always such a cop out and an obvious mug off but I couldn’t get out of bed let alone entertain two men over the course of four days. Both are truly understanding and ShoeGaze Dude is more so in particular. So much so the night before I ask him if he wanted to come over on the understanding that I wouldn’t be able to do much and that I would be literally in bed the entire time. I mean it’s hardly an awful situation for two people who are primed to fuck each other, but I don’t think people always know that that also entails grabbing me some water and answering the door to the Uber Eats guy for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I wasn’t too sure what to expect, other than maybe a reserved person who I would at least have a laugh with and watch some cool horror films with. He arrived with two coffees and we lay on my bed without any awkwardness drinking and chatting about where we grew up. The mad view from the weird AirBnB I was staying in. My best friend’s sober party I had used the last of my energy on to go to just an hour before hand.
He called me ‘dude’ which I thought was really cute and funny. I couldn’t convey how this clearly very kind and funny guy was going to turn on the domination. He pulled me over on to his chest so he could cuddle me, and then I can honestly tell you I am unsure how this happened, I was naked. I have no recollection of being undressed at all. For the first time in what felt like forever, the ShoeGaze Dude initiated sex with me?!
He pinned me down by my throat and stared into my eyes and spread my legs really far open wide, and with absolute ease, found my g-spot. I never cum from this but I was just paralysed, frozen on the spot other than my pressing myself into his hand fucking him back. He made me cum over and over, from my clit to my g-spot, even when I tried to push his hands away he kept on going.
He then made me suck his dick, but not in the normal ‘I am going to make you gag and choke on it’ way, just in my own way. So I could show off my skills and talents, to make him actually moan. He praised me then flipped me over on my stomach and started fucking me, and…
… it is not good. I am fucking heartbroken. How can someone be this good at everything else but the sex isn’t good?! After a minute of really bad silent fucking, I tell him that it flat out isn’t working this way for me.
“Well that really is disappointing,” he says. It sounds so sad, so I pretty much shout “NO IT IS OK LET’S TRY IT THIS WAY!”, and he puts me over his shoulders and I scream. I honestly scream. It feels so good! So good!
So never let anyone tell you communication isn’t the key. It is so good in fact, that he finishes really quickly. As a submissive, when someone finishes quickly it’s actually the best compliment. I have done my fucking job and I have done it well.
I am ready to just vape and chill out but ShoeGaze Dude turns me on my side and starts finger fucking me again, just teasing me around my holes, playing with my g-spot, then sliding his fingers back out and teasing around my hole where he has just fucked me silly, and he doesn’t stop. All thoughts leave my head, and I am just this curled up ball of spaced out on the edge of orgasm. When I think he is going to stop he doesn’t, I can’t really make any sounds and I think I am actually dribbling at this point. After what seems like forever, he rolls me over on my back and starts fucking me back again.
I am so limp and wet, all I am is this vessel for fucking, moaning and taking it. This is going to sound like bullshit but I pass out, only for a few seconds, enough to scare ShoeGaze Dude but not enough for us not to finish. I actually swooned like a dickhead. A shell of the person I once was, unable to move or speak. Holy Grail achieved.
We eat Nando’s in bed, watch some horror films, and fuck again and again and again. In the morning he plays with me and fucks me again before going out to get me a Starbucks. I don’t have to initiate any of it. It just is. We are seeing each other again this week, and I can’t wait to not be the horniest person in the room for a change.
If you enjoyed this, check out more of Charlotte Bayes’ work at DickAppointments.Substack.com, find more of Sherryl at SherrylsWorld.com, and head to the free audio porn hub for more hot stories read aloud.