It’s that time of year again, when I hustle a little to see if any of you would like to come support the audio porn project on Patreon, and encourage you to do it via the medium of shameless bribery. As always, the fabulous Stuart F Taylor who draws such gorgeous art for the blog has designed a kickass sexy Christmas card – I’ll be sending these out as a thank you to any paid supporter who wants one. This year, you also have the opportunity to get an iron-on decal so you can customise a t-shirt, pair of knickers, or other item of clothing – woo! These are also designed by Stuart, and I am beyond thrilled with how cool they look on clothes! I recommend you wear said item of clothing on a date to impress and delight your partner. To get a card, you only need to give me $2/£2. To get a decal, $6/£5.50. And as well as getting the merch, you also get a tonne of extra bonus content, plus the joy of knowing that you’re helping me and my team of incredible guests bring more glorious audio smut into the world…
How to get a Christmas card
This is easy: every paying Patreon supporter, come 1st December, is eligible for a Christmas card (or other appropriate holiday-season card: both the design and text are celebration-neutral). I’ll send a message out on the 1st asking if you’d like one, you reply to say ‘hell yes!’ and give me your address, then I’ll pop it in the post to you.
If you join at the lowest tier, that’s just $2/£2. And for that you also get:
- Early access to new audio in your podcast feed, completely ad-free
- Access to a tonne of bonus content including interviews with collaborators like Robyn Eats Everything, Molly Moore and JM Seaborn, and loved ones like my ludicrously hot friend Jess, and even… my parents!
- NEW TODAY! An interview with Stuart himself – he is the person I have worked with for the longest, who’s been drawing gorgeously sexy, funny, cool images for the site! He and I talk process, briefs, and how hard it is to get all the bits of people’s bodies in the right place if you’re drawing an orgy…
How to get GOTN-branded knickers/t-shirts/etc
If you join at the $6/£5.50 tier, not only do you get a card, you also get to pick from one of two designs of iron-on decal: ‘Fuck me like you mean it’ or ‘Touch me… yeah, like that’ (in either white or purple). Here they are modelled by the outrageously sexy couple Missy of Focused & Filthy and her husband…
Image by the fabulous Missy
Image by the fabulous Missy
And here they are on pants that I made as a test. You can choose to have your design in either white as above, or purple as below…
Image by me
You can add these decals to any suitable item of clothing, all you need is an iron and a flat surface. Instructions will be sent to you within your card, plus a little test logo so you can practice before committing. I’m experimenting with producing merch this way because it’s a bit more eco than flying t-shirts all over the world, and more importantly it means I don’t have to limit you in terms of size, style, or even item of clothing. Gives you a bit more choice, and is also far cheaper so I can send to way more people.
Each one takes ages to make though, so pray for me as I spend half of November painstakingly weeding whitespace from vinyl cut-outs.
Get all this, PLUS a year of Patreon access, for the lowest possible price…
I’ll level with you: if you just join to get the Christmas card or the decal and then immediately cancel, I break even. Technically I lose a bit of money if I have to post things overseas. BUT if you stay for a few months (or even a year) then the extra cash goes towards funding the audio project, where I pay writers a license fee for their hot smut, and pay sexy readers to record it.
If you want the absolute best possible bang for your buck, buy an annual sub on Patreon. You currently get the maximum possible discount (16%). This discount will run until the end of November, so grab an annual sub now to get a year’s worth of updates and ad-free early access to audio. At the $10 tier you also get the whole of my first book as audio, and each month I record a new chapter of book 2, with bonus commentary including behind-the-scenes stories and my own cringing analysis of which opinions from the book were actually terrible and have now been revised.
Why should you support the audio project?
Thanks to the incredible, generous support from my team of kickass Patreons in 2024, we’ve now grown the bank of audio to over 530 stories – all available completely free! Most of these are also available for free on the original websites of the authors who wrote them. The key aim of the project is to make erotica more accessible, so blind people don’t have to listen to stories about gang bangs and facials in the robotic voice that’s standard on a screenreader. I like that it also makes audio erotica financially accessible too. We can’t all afford porn subscriptions, so by funding this site through ads and Patreon, I can give supporters early access and bonuses but still make sure that the porn goes up for free to anyone who wants it.
All that’s to say, if you can’t spare the money to support the audio project right now, I completely understand. You don’t have to pay! Just listen and enjoy! But if you do have 20 quid (or 20 bucks/euros/whatever) that you could spare for an annual subscription, and you’ve enjoyed any of the sexy erotica that’s been published here over the last few years, I’d be super grateful to you for chipping in, and now’s the best time to do it because you get goodies to say thanks.
You’ll also get immediate access to literally all the relevant content for your tier, which now spans over 5 years of monthly updates, bonus interviews, improv erotica stories, and lots more. If you often find yourself hunting for good audio to keep you entertained over winter, I hope you consider checking out some of mine!
So head to Patreon to grab a subscription, or to the free audio porn hub to peruse some of the latest smutty stories, and please accept my huge thanks for reading to the end of this hopefully-not-too-annoying sales pitch.