Girl on the Net

I like things that are new and different, and sex toys that do stuff I haven’t felt before. That doesn’t mean that all those sex toys will get me off: if I wanted a reliable, functional, powerful wank then I would never deviate from my Doxy. But I like sex toys that make me feel new things. The Queen Bee is one of those sex toys, and thanks to the fact that I work with the company, I got to play with an early version and then write about it before other people get their hands on one, so I am going to grasp this opportunity with… well, with one hand. The hand I am not currently using to hold the Queen Bee to my clit. Let us commence.

Queen Bee is to clits what PULSE is to dicks

Before we talk about The Queen Bee we have to talk about PULSE. Because PULSE is the start of the story. It’s a dick toy that sends oscillating thrums of joy through the head and the shaft of your cock. There’s a review in that first link, but if you’d like a more graphic introduction to it, read about how I watched one dude using it on another dude and instantly melted with lust.

The main thing you need to know about PULSE is that it oscillates instead of vibrating. Vibrations are smaller movements: tiny rubs, basically. Oscillations travel further: the plate that delivers the oscillations for PULSE thuds in and out rather than side-to-side. In trying to come up with an analogy the best I can muster is that vibrations are like the shaking sensation you get when a bus is picking up speed, but oscillations are like the thuddy rumbles as it goes over a series of speed bumps.

You can see, probably, some similarities here between what I write and the copy on the Hot Octopuss site. That is because I write some of the blog copy for Hot Octopuss. I’m saying this up-front so you know this can’t be an unbiased review: I have a vested interest in this toy doing well, because Hot Octopuss gives me work. They are also a really lovely bunch of people, who are my friends as well as my colleagues. They come up with genuinely innovative sex toys, push for inclusion – particularly of older people and those with disabilities, who are often ignored by other sex toy companies – and they are always willing to put their hands in their pockets to support sex writers, whether it’s by sponsoring Eroticon or supporting the bloggers at Woodhull. Long story short: I love this company. Love them.

So given that I can’t write a review of the Queen Bee… what can I do? Well, I can tell you what I thought about this toy – and try to describe the unique and unusual sensations that come from oscillating clit stim – then let you judge for yourselves whether you’d like to try it, or masturbate to the idea of me trying it while watching myself have a wank in the mirror. Let’s begin.

It’s for meeeeeee

My other half doesn’t usually get excited about new sex toys. This is because, well, he is already pretty well-stocked with things he can use on me, himself, or both of us. Whenever I pick up something new – a dildo, an electrosex kit, a Doxy – I’ll be climbing the walls in anticipation of using it.

With the Queen Bee, however, he was more intrigued than he has been about other toys. Perhaps because I’ve been banging on about it for weeks in the run-up to launch, or perhaps because he’s had a go with PULSE on his dick and wants to know if Queen Bee will do similar things to my clit. So once it was charged he grabbed the handle and immediately started holding it against his crotch.

“But… it’s not for you,” I whined. “It’s a clitoral stimulator. It’s for meeeee.”

Ignoring my desperate pleas, he switched it to ‘pulse’ mode and pressed it slightly harder against his junk. “Yep, I know it’s for you. I just… I just wanted to see.” He looks at the ceiling and ponders for a few seconds while the waves pound through his crotch before concluding “Yep. I could definitely get hard with this.”

That’s the ‘oscillation’ thing. And it’s weird, at least to start with. I’m used to toys like Doxy which give that deep and thudding sensation through vibration. An oscillation feels… similar but different. It’s sending waves through your crotch, but they feel like they’re emanating from deeper inside rather than on the surface. It’s hard to describe, and it’s also hard to get used to. The first time I used the Queen Bee – a few weeks ago – I tried to use it with my standard technique: turn it up to the highest possible pattern, then press it as hard against my clit as I could.

But that’s not really how it works. I ground out a pretty nice orgasm, but I felt I hadn’t really given it a proper run. I was ticking boxes: “does this get me off? Yes/No” rather than properly taking my time with it. What’s more the interesting thing about oscillations is that pressure doesn’t make as much difference. At least not for me. I found the harder I tried to grind against it, the less sensation I’d get from the toy. This is great if you struggle with vibrators – or if you have arthritis or RSI which makes it hard to grip and use a toy with real force – but it’s a surprise for me because it means I have to switch up my technique. Still, as they say, a change is often as good as a rest.

Queen Bee masturbation technique

After my partner had given his verdict that this hairbrush-shaped clit toy would ‘definitely get him hard’, I settled down to a longer session with it on my own. This time I gave myself one rule: I couldn’t press it against myself. I had learned this trick from Hot Octopuss themselves: the PULSE that’s designed for dick stimulation does things that are so different to standard ‘rub the fuck out of it’ masturbation techniques that they often write guides and tips encouraging people to simply spend a bit of time with the toy on their junk, getting used to the sensations before they push for orgasm.

So that’s what I did. I gave it a bit of time. Took off all my clothes, lay in front of the brand-new mirror I have mounted on the wall opposite my bed (honestly everyone should do this – I have never loved my body more than I do now I can see it full-length in detail and realise that it isn’t as scary/bad as I usually tend to think), and settled in for a long wank.

And for the first time in a long time, I made myself enjoy the journey. Not an admin wank, that I get over and done with quickly because I have work to do: a proper, lazy wank where I lie back and enjoy the sensations. Playing one of my favourite fantasies in my head, with the Queen Bee on pulse mode (there are 6 different pulse modes, and the one I like goes brr-brr-brr-BRRRR brr-brr-brr-BRRRR brr-brr-brr-BRRRR if you’re interested), I made myself stroll leisurely through the experience rather than gunning for the finish line.

The actual sensation of it is like a wave that starts beneath your skin and pushes through your body. It’s not like a surface vibration, of the kind you’d get with a bullet or one of the weaker wand toys. It’s deeper – like the kind of sensation you’d get with a Doxy – but in a slightly different way. It’s like a very rapid tapping on your clit – or your labia, if you don’t want the sensation directly and you prefer to have a barrier between clit and toy. Using it reminded me of the time I reviewed the OMGYes site, and was struck with wonder at the knowledge that lots of people masturbate by tapping – rather than rubbing – their clits. It’s like that. And although I’ve never been able to get off by tapping when I’m just using my hands, the speed with which Queen Bee ‘taps’ combined with the rhythm of the pulse mode… well, it worked. Really nicely.

And then I got out my favourite dildo, and it worked in conjunction with that too.

Seeing as this isn’t a review, I can’t give it marks out of ten. But what I can say is that this toy very neatly fulfils the exact criteria I hoped it would: it gave me something new. Something different. Having been achingly jealous for ages of what PULSE does for dicks, finally I can experience that sensation for clits. And after waiting for so long to experience this, I was nervous that what arrived would end up feeling too much like a standard vibrator. I was worried that it wouldn’t feel different enough, or new enough, to make it worth the wait.

But I’m pretty delighted (and relieved – can you IMAGINE if I had to tell my bosses it sucked?) that not only does it tick that ‘new and unusual’ box, it ticks it in a way that gets me off. It’s not only given me that ‘oooh shiny’ feeling, it’s also helped me discover a new way to wank. A more conscious, mindful wank. Like I’ve been having showers all my life, and someone’s just pushed me into a bath.

This isn’t a sponsored post, although Hot Octopuss do sponsor my site so if you buy the Queen Bee directly from them I get kudos and a small percentage of each sale.