This post was initially written with a particular guy in mind. He doesn’t read the blog, but he may at some point want an idea of how I like to get fucked, so I thought it might be hot to write him a story that I can give to him at some point. But then I ended up writing pure porn and I realised it was way too intimidating for that kind of discussion. It definitely does work for a blog post, though, because it’s filth. So here goes: what I like in bed.

We’ve banged a few times now – just enough to get to know each other a little, but not so much that I’ve exposed all the detail of the ways in which I really want you to fuck me. You see, although I know that communication is good, I also worry that if I go all-in with my comms before we’ve even fucked once, the pressure to tick everything off the list might make you feel like you’re wrangling to get the top score on Mario Kart. So I haven’t really told you this yet, I’ve just enjoyed the simple, casual fucks: the noises you make and the way you touch me and the sensation of your dick sliding in. But we’ve done it three times now, so here the fuck goes: here’s what I like in bed.

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I was never really one for sexting, in the times Before Him. In recent years, the closest I’ve come to a horny text is sending a sext from the bedroom if I’m post-bath soft and wanting dick, or messaging to let him know that I’ve finished wanking and he’s welcome to come on up. One of the things that scares me about new encounters is – absurdly, bizarrely – the worry that they might need me to stretch my thumbs and engage in written conversation in between dates. Yeah, I know: I’m a sex blogger. I should be good at dating communication. But perhaps it’s the fact that I’m meant to be good at it that leads to so much dread. Where expectations run high, failure is almost guaranteed.

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I don’t normally post branded toy blogs other than ones about my site sponsors (cos a girl’s gotta eat, innit). But this week’s guest blogger got in touch raving about the joy of the Lovense Hush smart butt plug, and how much fun it had been to use it in a BDSM dynamic over a distance. And who am I to turn down a post about getting dominated over a distance? It sounded right up my street, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did…

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I’m so delighted to welcome today’s guest blogger – Debbie Bird! Her one-woman show, Buzzing, which is all about a woman embracing her sexuality post-divorce and after 50, premiered at Edinburgh last year and was then taken on a national tour. I was itching to get to see it in the theatre, but unfortunately Coronavirus absolutely fucked with that plan, as it has fucked with so much of the rest of our lives. But luckily for me (and you too!) Debbie is doing a livestream of Buzzing that you can enjoy from the comfort of your home. To introduce you to some of the topics she covers in the show, Debbie dropped by with this awesome guest blog about feeling sexy at 50+, and there will be absolutely no prizes for guessing why I utterly adore it, and why it’s got me excited to see Buzzing on the 25th. Join me, get tickets, support artists who have been fucked over by Coronavirus and enjoy Debbie’s brilliantly reviewed show.

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Back when I was dating, in the times Before Him, a mate used to sometimes ask the question: “is he a friend? Or a Good Friend?” Good friend – that’s how we discerned them. The boys I was fucking from the boys I was not. I’m gonna tell you now about one of my Good Friends.

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