Beginning. Short sentence designed to make you ponder something odd or sexy or enraging or cute. Longer sentence which explains why that thing you were pondering is actually a little bit more complicated than you might have previously thought. Teasing line aimed at making you want to read further: why am I doing this?

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I’m delighted to welcome Neo back as this week’s guest blogger – his previous post, in which he and his wife share their fantasies about sex clubs with each other, was incredibly popular, and extremely hot. This week he’s back to share something equally hot but this time with a twist of kink: a sexy night that begins with some hot dress-up and leads to a revelation about what exactly he wants his wife to do with those sexy high heels she wears… Enjoy!

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My partner has a teeny constellation of beauty spots just above and to the left of his belly button. They are one of my favourite things about his body. Well, I mean… apart from his dick and his eyes and his hands and his wrists and… look I just really love quite a lot of bits of his body, OK? I am shocked – SHOCKED – that I have not yet waxed lyrical about how gorgeously beautiful moles and beauty spots are, and why I love them so much.

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Got pretty thoroughly fucked the other day. And I choose the word ‘thoroughly’ carefully and with precision. This was a very thorough fuck.

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One plus one does not always equal two. Sure, if we’re talking standard stuff like apples and oranges, one plus one definitely equals two and I’d be a weird conspiracy theorist if I tried to persuade you otherwise. You have one apple in a bag, you add another, you have two apples. True. But if the things you’re counting are dicks, and the place you’re putting them is my vagina: one dick plus another equals a hell of a lot more than two. Let’s talk DVP with a fuckmachine.

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