I was never really one for sexting, in the times Before Him. In recent years, the closest I’ve come to a horny text is sending a sext from the bedroom if I’m post-bath soft and wanting dick, or messaging to let him know that I’ve finished wanking and he’s welcome to come on up. One of the things that scares me about new encounters is – absurdly, bizarrely – the worry that they might need me to stretch my thumbs and engage in written conversation in between dates. Yeah, I know: I’m a sex blogger. I should be good at dating communication. But perhaps it’s the fact that I’m meant to be good at it that leads to so much dread. Where expectations run high, failure is almost guaranteed.

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I don’t normally post branded toy blogs other than ones about my site sponsors (cos a girl’s gotta eat, innit). But this week’s guest blogger got in touch raving about the joy of the Lovense Hush smart butt plug, and how much fun it had been to use it in a BDSM dynamic over a distance. And who am I to turn down a post about getting dominated over a distance? It sounded right up my street, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did…

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I’m so delighted to welcome today’s guest blogger – Debbie Bird! Her one-woman show, Buzzing, which is all about a woman embracing her sexuality post-divorce and after 50, premiered at Edinburgh last year and was then taken on a national tour. I was itching to get to see it in the theatre, but unfortunately Coronavirus absolutely fucked with that plan, as it has fucked with so much of the rest of our lives. But luckily for me (and you too!) Debbie is doing a livestream of Buzzing that you can enjoy from the comfort of your home. To introduce you to some of the topics she covers in the show, Debbie dropped by with this awesome guest blog about feeling sexy at 50+, and there will be absolutely no prizes for guessing why I utterly adore it, and why it’s got me excited to see Buzzing on the 25th. Join me, get tickets, support artists who have been fucked over by Coronavirus and enjoy Debbie’s brilliantly reviewed show.

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Back when I was dating, in the times Before Him, a mate used to sometimes ask the question: “is he a friend? Or a Good Friend?” Good friend – that’s how we discerned them. The boys I was fucking from the boys I was not. I’m gonna tell you now about one of my Good Friends.

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To be honest, I would love a set of armour right now. Clanking, intimidating, powerful armour which shines bright in the glare of the sun, terrifying my enemies and making me look like an absolute boss of the battlefield. But traditionally armour tended to be worn more by men, which makes my feminist-and-battle-hungry heart a little sad. That’s why I’m delighted that rmp792 has dropped by with a sexy story about women in armour, wrapped in a gorgeous guest blog explaining – in delightful detail – his armour kink…

You may remember rmp792 from previous guest blogs – also both recorded as audio like this one! The first tells how he fell in love with GoneWildAudio, and the second is a beautiful essay on the hotness of begging. Do check out more of his audio work on Reddit too.

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