Despite spending most of my life grumpy about the idea of dressing up or having to open my front door to strangers, I’ve started to really look forward to Halloween each year. Mostly because I get to have a bit of fun and write a silly, scary, weird bit of Halloween erotica. It’s a nice challenge to try and take a traditional monster and stick them in a sexual context, and also I’m a bit of a goth so I just like getting to do stuff that involves horror. Last year it was a siren, the year before a zombie, who followed a succubus. This year, I thought I’d have a crack at vampire.

The following story contains things you might find disturbing: stalking, slutshaming, blood, and death. If that isn’t your cup of tea, check out some less creepy erotic fiction here. But if you enjoy that sort of thing, read below or click ‘listen now’ above to hear it read as audio porn.  

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I love it when people tell me about unique, sexy concepts that haven’t occurred to me before: a new way to control a submissive, a new sex trick, a cool atmosphere they managed to conjure during a shag. This week’s guest blogger – @OxyFromSg who writes erotica with Phedre Sinclair at this blog right here – has exactly that: an unusual and kinky arrangement, which he’s loosely titled the ‘weird wank’. Before we start I want to let you know that he has sought permission from the guy he does this with, who’s happy for him to write about their dick-controlling antics. Enjoy!

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People often ask me for sex toy recommendations, so in this wildly boring but nevertheless helpful post, I’m going to tell you the top sex toys I’d save if my house was burning down and I only had time to grab a few. The main reason for me writing this post is because I am short of both content and cash, but I appreciate that sex toy recommendations are far less interesting than stories about having dildo orgies or watching my other half do a sexy genderfuck striptease. So here’s my offer: I will tell you about the best sex toys I own (i.e. the ones I use most often), you go buy them if you want, I’ll get some money, and then on Sunday I’ll publish some Halloween erotica story that isn’t trying to sell you anything at all. Deal? OK.

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This is one of a bunch of random fiction pieces loosely gathered under the concept of ‘emotional fucks‘. Most of them are a bit vicious and harsh – hate fuck, pity fuck, spite fuck – because those are the ones I enjoy writing most, but very occasionally my heart becomes squishy and I have to write something nice. This one’s a friendly fuck… 

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A few years ago I went to a PR launch for a sex thing. Alongside the free champagne (woo!) there was a discussion about ‘obligation sex’ – whether you should make yourself shag sometimes even when you’re not in the mood, to keep the spark alive in your relationship. A sex blogger who I respected a lot was there (she, along with the free champagne, was what tempted me out of the house), and during the discussion she argued that you should have obligation sex. That making yourself shag could be the glue that held your relationship together even when other things were falling apart. I remember being shocked by her answer, because my gut instinct was to disagree. But I really liked her, and there’d been a lot of free champagne, so all I left with was a fuzzy head and a vague feeling that ‘obligation sex’ didn’t sound like much fun at all.

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