Sexual consent isn’t gendered – at least, it shouldn’t be. If you’re chatting someone up in the hope that you’ll get to have sexy fun with them later, you shouldn’t be putting pressure on them to do things they don’t want to do, no matter what your gender or theirs. So apologies to everyone who knows this already, but I just wanted to pick up my sledgehammer and really slam this point home. Men: your consent matters too.

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You’ve probably heard of the Doxy wand, and Doxy Number 3, and if you’re into ridiculously and intensely powerful, rumbly vibrations the chances are you’ll have one of these beautiful sex toys already. But did you know Doxy butt plugs also exist? Please have a seat (on an inferior butt plug, if you must) and let me yell enthusiastically at you about how great these butt plugs are.

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I’m not a massive fan of getting head. I’ve said it before, and people are occasionally horrified: how can I call myself a feminist if I don’t insist on oral equality? I am a huge fan of giving head: I take egomaniacal pride in being able to suck cock so well that it has my other half whimpering and trembling on the edge of orgasm for the duration of an entire Portishead song. So where’s the reciprocal pleasure? What of the famed ‘orgasm gap’? Surely I, as a feminist, should insist on oral reciprocity? No.

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Sometimes when we’re feeling horny, my partner and I will live out fantasies by telling each other stories. Pretending we’re in a group of people, and describing who’s doing what to who, and how hard each of us is coming. I’ve wanted to write a post about these couple fantasies for a while, because it’s a tip I recommend to others quite a lot – if they want to consider threesomes or group sex, for instance, but they’re nervous about putting it into practice. It’s a fun, hot way to explore these fantasies in a safe environment, and this week’s guest blogger – Neo – has beaten me to the punch, with a superb, almost real-time description of what happened when he and his wife engaged in a mutual fantasy about sex clubs. Enjoy…

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So far I’ve been silent on the horrorshow that is Goop – Gwyneth Paltrow’s bullshit-engine which advocates wellness ‘treatments’ designed to cure you of your money. She recommends anything from vaginal steaming (argh) to jade eggs, making ludicrous claims about how these things can help you ‘detox’ and generally improve your life. I haven’t bothered with it until now, but my Twitter feed is currently packed with news and snark about ‘Goop Lab’ – her new show where she demonstrates some of the pseudoscience she’s trying to flog you – so I’d feel negligent if I didn’t write something. What’s more, I recently realised this problem isn’t limited to Goop: a sex toy website that I otherwise have a lot of time for has started peddling weird bullshit along with its jade eggs, and it breaks my fucking heart. Let’s start by tackling jade eggs and other cuntstones, and why the dodgy claims about their magical powers aren’t just ‘harmless fun’. I’ll save vaginal steaming for another angry day.

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