As I mentioned last week, I had a whole bunch of amazing pitches in for International Women’s Day, so here on the blog it’s going to be International Women’s… month and a bit, until about mid-April. YAY. Today’s fabulous guest blog hits two of my absolute favourite things, genuinely useful and cool education plus outrageously horny sex ideas. Jenny – who blogs at SymTrkl here and posts on Mastodon here – is a trans woman and sexually creative badass, and she’s here to share with you some top tips on overcoming gender dysphoria in the bedroom. Basically, how to embrace your femininity while fucking as a woman with a penis. Take it away Jenny…

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Continuing the series of erotic fiction set on tube trains (I heart TfL), here’s some aching, surreptitious fucking on the Victoria Line. Note that this story is fiction. Don’t do it in real life. 

The carriage is already rammed by the time we get on – him, me, a few friends. All of us slightly tipsy from the gig, but eager to continue the night back home in Walthamstow. Home, where the booze has been pre-bought from Tesco and we don’t have to queue behind Gen Z amateurs at the bar. The train is packed by the time we get on but we squeeze down to the end of the carriage anyway. When someone gets up to push past us, in deference to his ever-present backache I offer my boyfriend the seat. Then, because my feet are hurting and I’m a little bit pissed, I sit on his lap.

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As someone who very strongly identifies with certain submissive nicknames (‘good girl‘ – unngh) and utterly recoils from others (‘babygirl’ – meh), I’m always fascinated by the details of other people’s kinky identities. Are you more of a ‘Domme’ or a ‘Top’? Do you see yourself as ‘Sir’ or “Daddy’? Are you a nonbinary kinkster with a fucking cool gender-neutral moniker like ‘Boss’ or ‘Your Majesty’? Love it. Today’s guest blogger, Anna Syrma, responded to my call for guest blogs from women that might be suitable for International Women’s Day with this gorgeous piece about her kinky identity. I was inundated with amazing ideas, by the way, so we’re gonna stretch IWD out for at least another month (subscribe for updates!), but I picked this as the first post because it’s all about how Anna Syrma discovered, then embraced, her kinky identity as a Goddess.

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I’m turning 40 this month. Which feels weird when I write it down like that – in my heart I am (and will always be) nineteen – just on the cusp of adulthood, excited for what it might bring. In reality, I’ve been an adult for longer than I was ever a child. I pay council tax! I have a bad back! I own three different types of spirit level! I wouldn’t normally announce my birthday on the blog, but because this one’s a biggie I thought it might be fun to mark it by throwing a virtual party – support me on Patreon (at any level) and sign up to the Zoom hangout on Sunday 24th March – 6-8pm UK time, though we may well go on longer than that if people want to. I’ll read you a selection of my favourite posts from the last 12.5 years of this blog, and we’ll drink stuff and chat and you can ask me anything you’d like to know about GOTN, the audio project, sex blogging and which of the many many exceptional cocks I’ve ingested over the years is my special absolute favourite. Meanwhile, here’s a random list of 40 things I’ve learned before the age of 40.

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As a general rule I don’t like people quoting me in guest blogs on my own site. It feels too recursive and narcissistic, even for me. BUT. Today’s guest – Oscar, big big thanks to him – has a really important point to make, and straight people (STRAIGHT MEN) need to hear it. It’s about a topic extremely close to my heart, and vitally important in my (and so many other people’s) dating lives. Actually fuck it, not just their dating lives, their lives in general. Today we’re gonna talk about jokes. Specifically, why it appears that straight men can’t joke with women who they might also be interested in boning…

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