All Posts – Page 140
Wankonomicon II: Co-op wank, luxury wank and experimental wank
(more…)Please welcome back sex toy correspondent Luke aka @Beardynoise! A man who is on a quest to catalogue all possible types of wank spanning the entire human experience. After the roaring success of volume 1 of his Wankonomicon at the start of the month, he is back to give you more detail on new and different types of wank, as well as recommendations for excellent sex toys to use for each one. Today: the co-op wank, luxury wank and experimental wank…
What it means when a woman says ‘I’m fine’
“British scientists have unveiled a new wristband which can tell what sort of mood you’re in. Men are especially excited about it as they hope to finally gain an insight into what a woman means when she says she’s ‘fine’.”
– Opening joke from Breaking the News, 5th July 2019
There’s a common trope that when a woman says ‘I’m fine’ actually she’s fuming, and it’s someone’s job (usually her partner’s) to solve the puzzle and find out what’s actually wrong before everything explodes in a shower of icky female emotions. It’s a fun game, right straight lads? Having to guess what your partner actually means when she says ‘I’m fine’? Haha women are so mysterious, and men will never be able to figure us out!
Erotic humiliation: you’re a filthy, cock-hungry slut
You want this? How much do you want it? Enough to humiliate and degrade yourself by begging? Enough that you’ll kneel on the floor naked with your legs and your mouth wide open, tongue hanging out and my spit dripping down your face, whining and weeping and begging me to fuck you? You want humiliation, I’ll give you humiliation – you filthy, cock-hungry slut.
What heartbreak feels like for different people
Would we be more gentle with each other’s hearts if we knew how much it hurt when they get broken? I mean ‘hurt’ in a literal physical sense here. I used to think heartbreak was a universal physical sensation – one we all experienced in the same way. But recently I’ve discovered that heartbreak feels like different things to different people.
Creepy: a confession or two or three
A confession: when you’re out, sometimes I lie on your bed and bury my face in your bedsheets. Huffing the lingering scent of summer sweat like it’s perfumed roses or myrrh or forty-quid wine. I am creepy, so of course I sniff your bedsheets. And that’s not all I do.