I have two questions for you. First one: if there was a dodgy step on the staircase in your house, how long would it take you to fix it? Let’s say that the step itself is mostly irritating, but occasionally dangerous. You have to remember to jump over it every time you go up or down stairs, but sometimes you forget and your foot just plunges straight through, causing you to twist your ankle, or worse. When close friends and lovers come round to visit you, they often get trapped by your dodgy step, then extract themselves and help you patch it up. Most of them recommend you call a carpenter. So, first question is: how long would it take you to get it fixed? Question two: how’s your mental health lately?

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Are you on the verge of falling in love? Is there someone you look at who makes you feel dizzy, like you’ve suddenly taken a deep lungful of air at the top of a mountain and you have to look around for a bench or a rock to sit down on in case you topple off? Yeah, don’t fall in love with them. Run the fuck away.

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@Absolutely_Ruby is back, everyone! She is the incredible smutty writer who contributed the most popular guest blog ever on my site – about being made to wear a butt plug to go and get breakfast. She’s also written up an intensely sexy/scary story about getting caught having sex in the office. Thanks to the kind of adventures she has, and the way she so beautifully writes them, I am utterly in awe of her. Today she’s here to tell a story that featured something that’s close to my heart: watersports. Read on if you want to hear about a super-hot, dominant incident where she was made to piss for her master. This story is available as audio porn too, so click ‘listen here’ above if you’d like to hear it read aloud by Ruby herself.

Note: everyone in this story is over the age of 18, but it includes elements of school role play.

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I used to be ambivalent about lube. OK, more than that: I used to be actively wary of it. As if using this substance represented a giant failure on my part to get my cunt wet. I used to feel as if lube was for anal, and only anal. But one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about my forays into the sex industry is just how ubiquitous lube is, and how many different uses there are for it. So let me pass on some of my learnings to you: unusual things to do with lube.

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Can’t believe I missed ‘rebound fuck’ off the emotional fucks series. If you’re new to this, I’ve been doing some short erotic fiction pieces exploring different types of fuck – spite fuck, revenge fuck, grief fuck and more. Here’s some about the much-maligned rebound fuck.

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