All Posts – Page 147
Function or fun? The last time I had an orgasm
The last time I had an orgasm was yesterday afternoon. Lying on the bed in the spare room with my jeans and knickers round my ankles, rubbing one out to the sounds in my head – of leather smacking on skin, and grunting, and dirty words.
Suck my tits while I ride you: an ode to watching
One of the benefits of being tall is that men can suck my tits while I’m riding them. Watching a guy suck my tits is as beautiful as the phrase ‘suck my tits’ is clumsy. There should be a better way of saying this, but I can’t think of one, so instead I ask with gestures.
Wankonomicon II: Co-op wank, luxury wank and experimental wank
(more…)Please welcome back sex toy correspondent Luke aka @Beardynoise! A man who is on a quest to catalogue all possible types of wank spanning the entire human experience. After the roaring success of volume 1 of his Wankonomicon at the start of the month, he is back to give you more detail on new and different types of wank, as well as recommendations for excellent sex toys to use for each one. Today: the co-op wank, luxury wank and experimental wank…
What it means when a woman says ‘I’m fine’
“British scientists have unveiled a new wristband which can tell what sort of mood you’re in. Men are especially excited about it as they hope to finally gain an insight into what a woman means when she says she’s ‘fine’.”
– Opening joke from Breaking the News, 5th July 2019
There’s a common trope that when a woman says ‘I’m fine’ actually she’s fuming, and it’s someone’s job (usually her partner’s) to solve the puzzle and find out what’s actually wrong before everything explodes in a shower of icky female emotions. It’s a fun game, right straight lads? Having to guess what your partner actually means when she says ‘I’m fine’? Haha women are so mysterious, and men will never be able to figure us out!
Erotic humiliation: you’re a filthy, cock-hungry slut
You want this? How much do you want it? Enough to humiliate and degrade yourself by begging? Enough that you’ll kneel on the floor naked with your legs and your mouth wide open, tongue hanging out and my spit dripping down your face, whining and weeping and begging me to fuck you? You want humiliation, I’ll give you humiliation – you filthy, cock-hungry slut.