Today I’m welcoming back the fabulous guest blogger ‘A’, who has written a couple of gorgeous posts before for this blog, like this one on feeling ‘little’ and cute. Today she’s here to talk about ownership, and how it isn’t just dominants who like that feeling of saying that someone is ‘mine.’ An exploration, as she explained in her original pitch, of having a really intense hunger for him – and only him. Wanting to claim his cock.

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Sexual consent isn’t gendered – at least, it shouldn’t be. If you’re chatting someone up in the hope that you’ll get to have sexy fun with them later, you shouldn’t be putting pressure on them to do things they don’t want to do, no matter what your gender or theirs. So apologies to everyone who knows this already, but I just wanted to pick up my sledgehammer and really slam this point home. Men: your consent matters too.

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You’ve probably heard of the Doxy wand, and Doxy Number 3, and if you’re into ridiculously and intensely powerful, rumbly vibrations the chances are you’ll have one of these beautiful sex toys already. But did you know Doxy butt plugs also exist? Please have a seat (on an inferior butt plug, if you must) and let me yell enthusiastically at you about how great these butt plugs are.

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I’m not a massive fan of getting head. I’ve said it before, and people are occasionally horrified: how can I call myself a feminist if I don’t insist on oral equality? I am a huge fan of giving head: I take egomaniacal pride in being able to suck cock so well that it has my other half whimpering and trembling on the edge of orgasm for the duration of an entire Portishead song. So where’s the reciprocal pleasure? What of the famed ‘orgasm gap’? Surely I, as a feminist, should insist on oral reciprocity? No.

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Sometimes when we’re feeling horny, my partner and I will live out fantasies by telling each other stories. Pretending we’re in a group of people, and describing who’s doing what to who, and how hard each of us is coming. I’ve wanted to write a post about these couple fantasies for a while, because it’s a tip I recommend to others quite a lot – if they want to consider threesomes or group sex, for instance, but they’re nervous about putting it into practice. It’s a fun, hot way to explore these fantasies in a safe environment, and this week’s guest blogger – Neo – has beaten me to the punch, with a superb, almost real-time description of what happened when he and his wife engaged in a mutual fantasy about sex clubs. Enjoy…

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