All Posts – Page 196
Guest blog: My first three hours on Tinder
I love a good dating story – the more unusual the better. As a now-mostly-monogamous person, I like to live vicariously through singletons, remembering the heady days of internet dating and the weird and wonderful things that can happen when you match with someone on Tinder or OKCupid. This week’s guest blogger – Fran MacLaine – is here to tell you about her first three hours on Tinder. And it’s a rollercoaster, so strap in tight…
Names and identifying details have been changed.
Ten things I hate about Doxy Number 3
OK gang, listen up because I’m angry. For years – YEARS – I have been recommending the Doxy to anyone and everyone with a clitoris. It’s the turbo-charged fuckstick of my wildest dreams and by my rough calculations it has delivered more orgasms in the three and a half years I’ve owned it than any living human has given me over the course of the rest of my life. Myself included. I love Doxy so much I would recklessly and gleefully abseil down the nearest tall building to unfurl a ‘FUCK YEAH DOXY’ banner that could be read from miles away. But now Doxy has launched a new toy – a compact wand called ‘Doxy Number 3‘ – and I am, to put it mildly, livid.
Here are 10 things I hate about the Doxy Number 3.
Songs that make me want to use your cock
Do me a favour: before you start reading this post, open this song in a brand new browser tab and hit play. Because I want to tell you what this song makes me do: grind heavily on the nearest willing hot guy and demand ‘I want to use your cock.’
Sexy guest blogs: £20 per post, and guidelines on how to submit
If you’re not a potential guest-blogger, this post will probably be very dull for you, so I apologise for taking up your time. Feel free to go and have a look through old guest blogs and read some of the incredible stories people have written here over the last five or six years. Seriously, do: there are so many incredible sexy guest blogs. Start at the beginning, or somewhere in the middle, if you’ve only begun reading this blog recently. If you’d like to submit a guest blog of your own, see below for new info on rates, topics and how to submit!
My best friend is a boy
My best friend is a boy. We sit together in pub gardens in the freezing cold, fishing weird white bits out of cold pints of cheap scrumpy. We laugh at each other, and ourselves. We fight over whose round it is because we always think the other is more skint than they’re letting on.
And when people find out that he’s a boy they ask some version of this: ‘so have you fucked?’