If my other half is beside me when I die at the age of ninety, it will come as quite a surprise. Not just surprising that I’ll have lived until ninety, which is unlikely given my lifestyle. It will come as a surprise that we haven’t yet split up.

(more…)

As I might have mentioned a few very excited times – on Patreon and in Wednesday’s blog post – I have recently bought a massive mirror and mounted it on the wall opposite the end of my bed. I’ve always had mirrors in my bedroom – a dressing-table mirror that gives a good side-view of doggy and a larger mirror high on the wall that is angled so I can watch my partner having a wank while I do my hair in the morning. But with this new mirror comes a new angle, and a new idea.

(more…)

Today’s guest blog on ruined orgasm was so deliciously packed with horny stuff that I have split it into two parts. In the first, guest blogger Justine – the hero of our story – gets a crash-course in the delicious frustration of ruined orgasm. In the second… well you’ll have to wait till next week to see. Subscribe to get updated when new blogs go live, and then enjoy part one of this ruined orgasm story. It’s incredibly NSFW, beautifully written and after I’d read it I had to go for a bit of a lie-down.

Thanks to the gorgeously-voiced Sarah Jane (@marvydarling), who blogs at Marvelous-Darling.com, this post is now available as audio. Click ‘listen here’, and head to the audio porn hub to hear more sexy stories read aloud. 

(more…)

I like things that are new and different, and sex toys that do stuff I haven’t felt before. That doesn’t mean that all those sex toys will get me off: if I wanted a reliable, functional, powerful wank then I would never deviate from my Doxy. But I like sex toys that make me feel new things. The Queen Bee is one of those sex toys, and thanks to the fact that I work with the company, I got to play with an early version and then write about it before other people get their hands on one, so I am going to grasp this opportunity with… well, with one hand. The hand I am not currently using to hold the Queen Bee to my clit. Let us commence.

(more…)

When we first got together, I was excited about dating you. I remember the outfit I wore on one afternoon of peak excitement, when we had nothing planned but a long day of drinking and then fucking on the carpet in your flat. I wore boots, shorts, and a semi-transparent top. Badly applied make-up and a giant grin. I was excited, in a horny way. And in a general way too: you excited me as if we were on our way to Alton Towers and not just the pub up the road.

(more…)