When men are sexist, the least I can do is tell them not to be. I should say ‘nope’ or ‘fuck off’ or ‘are you shitting me?’ – sexist men deserve challenging responses. The last thing they deserve is for me to play along. Smile and nod and say ‘haha yes’, before sidling away and then kicking myself later. That’s the last thing they deserve, but it’s sometimes what I do.

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There is something very sexy about you having your own room. I don’t mean your own bedroom – although there’s definitely a flutter of hot lust in my gut when I imagine you visiting my room for a functional fuck. Emptying your aching balls into me then disappearing into a den of your own for some proper rest. Like an entitled duke in some historical erotica. Using me because you can, then keeping the rest of your life separate and secret, so all I can do is lust from a distance and wish I could get closer.

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Where was I? Oh yes: in the centre of a circle of eager, horny men, taking part in a competitive gang bang. My ass is lubed up with the spunk of the first guy who fucked me, and I’m catching my breath before round two.

This is the second in a two-part story. Read the first part – competition – then pop back here for the finale. 

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Brace yourself: I think this might be the most narcissistic, self-centered wank fantasy I’ve ever had. But seeing as it’s given me so many excellent afternoon distractions, I thought I’d share it with you. It involves a gang bang, a competition, and a hell of a lot of struggle-fucking.

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Summer beauty tips direct from my horrible subconscious. 

Step right up, it’s summer! And my my, it’s a scorcher! You’ll be looking forward to going to the park with your friends, won’t you? Having a nice pint in a beer garden, or heading down to the beach? Before you do, though, there’s a bit of admin to get sorted. Firstly: shave your fucking legs.

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