I sit still. Very still. So still I am almost holding my breath. I can feel the cool tile underneath my legs, his warm arms around my shoulders. My nipples are taut and hard. I can feel his erection pressing into my back, as I stare into the darkness and bite my lip. And I sit still.

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I spotted a tweet from Lovehoney about International Women’s Day this morning. Which would have been awesome if it had been about something super-relevant to women’s rights. Unfortunately, it was just a tweet about clitoral orgasms – as if International Women’s Day is basically a cross between Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. As if it was about treating women in your life, rather than reflecting on how the women in your life have been treated. Let’s have a look at some better options, shall we?

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Last night I walked into my flat, dumped a backpack overloaded with swag and very sweaty shirts onto my bed, and then hauled my exhausted body to the bathroom. Everything was weirdly dark, save the flicker of a few candles. On the windowsill my other half had placed a bottle of wine, a glass and a bluetooth speaker blasting ‘We Are The Champions’ by Queen. How does this even happen? What bizarre luck leads to someone doing such a lovely thing, for me?

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There’s just one week to go until we open the doors to Eroticon 2017. Three days left to buy tickets. Seven days for me to write endless lists, phone co-organisers Molly and Michael in a panic, and eventually sigh with relief when I realise they are totally on top of things and I am just an anxious twat. If you can’t come to Eroticon yourself, here’s a great way to get involved and learn a little about the fabulous writers and speakers who’ll be there with us. The Eroticon Anthology.

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