Two things this week tackles a bizarre suggestion that keeps raising its head: that we should show porn in sex ed classes, so young people can learn the difference between porn sex and ‘real’ sex. I also want to recommend you a blogger whose writing I think is amazing. Oh, and a quick note about Black Mirror.

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Before I suck dick, I take out my lip ring. I haven’t always done this – some guys used to enjoy the extra sensation, so I’d leave it in. Others felt it made very little difference – a blow job’s a blow job, right? – so I wouldn’t bother taking it out before I began. But my current partner prefers his blow jobs au naturel, so I take out my lip ring. And in doing so, I’ve inadvertently managed to achieve a bizarre sexual ambition.

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You might have noticed that the regular Friday guest blogs have been a bit thin on the ground recently. I’m really sorry – I have a tonne of amazing ideas for guest blogs in my inbox, but I haven’t managed to get any up. Below is an explanation and an apology, because I definitely owe it to those who’ve kindly submitted.

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On Friday I went to Venus Berlin. On Sunday I bought two large McDonalds milkshakes, left them in the kitchen until they’d thoroughly melted, then clambered into the bath and poured them all over my tits. These two things are not unconnected.

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Do you know how to get round a porn block? If your immediate thought here involved something like a VPN or Tor, then congratulations: it sounds like should your government implement a porn block you’ll have a reasonable idea how to circumvent it. However, can I ask that you please please please stop telling me on Twitter that you how to get around a porn block? Allow me to explain why.

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