All Posts – Page 231
When I am old (a sexy poem)
As ever when I roll out some dirty poetry, I’m going to ask you to be gentle because I don’t really know what the fuck I’m doing. But I wrote a sexy poem, about sex and aging. Two things that are not incompatible. I suck at poetry titles, so feel free to suggest one in the comments. And I suck at poetry too, it’s just that sometimes I like the rhythm of it to make a point or turn a dirty phrase.
Sex and aging: if we’re lucky we’ll all grow old
There are few things that all humans have in common, but one of them is this: if we’re lucky, we’ll all grow older. And while everyone changes as they get older – physically and emotionally – the things we enjoy hopefully never lose their shine. You’ll still be just as overjoyed at winning a pub quiz in your seventies. Or going on holiday to somewhere beautiful and drinking sangria on the beach. And – because this is a post about sex and aging – I’d hope you’d still enjoy an excellent fuck.
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Two things: Vaginismus Awareness Day and Fleabag
Normally with ‘two things‘ I pick one good bit of sex news and one bad bit, so I can take the piss out of the bad thing and recommend the good. Instead, this week I have two things that are ‘good’ (Vaginismus Awareness Day and Fleabag) and as a bonus I have a teeny rant about a bad thing, which I’m burying at the end so you don’t think I’m a twat. Ready? Let’s go.
Wet fucking – the kind you need special sheets for
I’ve never been a big fan of massage oil – it gets all sticky on my hands. While it’s delightful to stroke and prod and knead someone else’s body (particularly the arse – God how I love rubbing oiled-up hands on someone’s arse) I’ve always been a bit put off by the fact that when the massage stops and the slippery fucking begins, there’s nowhere to wipe my hands.
Until now, because I have one of these amazing tactile fluidproof sheets, and holy shit do I love it. The following post isn’t a review, it’s just an account of some wet and delicious sex I had. It’s also written pretty much in one take, because I got horny while I was writing it and it was a choice of either editing it for ages or just putting it live then having a wank and a nap. Sorry.
Guest blog: Phone sex – call me maybe?
I’m not a fan of the word ‘sexpert’, mostly because it’s occasionally used about me, even though I’ve no idea what I’m doing. But there’s one area in which I’m happy to bestow the ‘sexpert’ title – those who work in the sex industry, and have carefully honed their sexy skills. This week’s guest blogger is just such a person. Jaye, who blogs at How To Almost Be A Porn Star – has worked on phone sex lines for a long time, as well as indulged in plenty of phone sex for fun, so she’s well-placed to tell you just why you should pick up the phone and let your filthy mouth run wild…
I love this post, and if you do too go and check out Jaye’s blog and follow her on Twitter.