All Posts – Page 231
Guest blogs: an apology
You might have noticed that the regular Friday guest blogs have been a bit thin on the ground recently. I’m really sorry – I have a tonne of amazing ideas for guest blogs in my inbox, but I haven’t managed to get any up. Below is an explanation and an apology, because I definitely owe it to those who’ve kindly submitted.
Venus Berlin: tits, dickshots and milkshake
On Friday I went to Venus Berlin. On Sunday I bought two large McDonalds milkshakes, left them in the kitchen until they’d thoroughly melted, then clambered into the bath and poured them all over my tits. These two things are not unconnected.
Can you get round a porn block?
Do you know how to get round a porn block? If your immediate thought here involved something like a VPN or Tor, then congratulations: it sounds like should your government implement a porn block you’ll have a reasonable idea how to circumvent it. However, can I ask that you please please please stop telling me on Twitter that you how to get around a porn block? Allow me to explain why.
Sensory deprivation sex, self-confidence and anxiety
As a general rule I don’t like blindfolds. I could try and bullshit you about how I like to look into someone’s eyes when they tip over the edge of a powerful orgasm, but while that’s true, it’s not the whole truth. My dislike of blindfolds comes from a meaner place. They’re a bit… tame, aren’t they? A bit … (whisper it) … 50 Shades? But laying my irrational snobbery to one side, the other day I cracked out one of my many airplane-branded blindfolds (they’re free, so I am literally allergic to not taking them home) to try some sensory deprivation sex.
Bukkake fantasy: reality and beyond
A thing that has never happened: group of guys stand around me in a circle. I, blindfolded and semi-naked (the better to get my underwear smeared and dirty), lie open-mouthed on the floor beneath them. One of them starts to squirt jizz. It splatters from a height onto my stomach. Watching it sets the others off, and they each rub their dicks harder, pumping ropes of spunk over my waiting face. The traditional bukkake fantasy, if you like.
A thing that has happened: mid-fuck with a single guy, he pulls out. He stands up quickly, straddling me with his legs. He looks down on me as he beats at his dick, then sprays come on me from a height, so it makes a satisfying pitter-patter as it lands on my neck and chest.