Two things! I have been away all weekend, at the incredible EroticonLive. I’ll do a proper write up at some point, because I have a million thoughts and lovely things to say about the amazing sessions I went to. But in the meantime here are two links to things that you need to read: one sexy and shiver-inducing, and the other practical and wise.

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WHY HAVE I NEVER WRITTEN ABOUT RIDING CROPS?! I need to rectify this immediately, because riding crops are not only super-hot, but they also represent one of my earliest sexual memories. And by that I mean there was one time I spotted a riding crop on TV and couldn’t understand why I got all the funny feelings.

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This week an article did the rounds on Twitter titled ’10 Things Men Do In Bed That Women Hate.’ It was So. Fucking. Awful (and mostly copied word for word from this old, awful listicle from more than a year ago) that I thought I’d write an alternative.

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Two things you should check out this week. In the ‘bad’ column: some truly appalling sex advice. Then to cheer you up: a hot Youtube video of nerdy boys having a fight.

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I’ve wanted to write about sensual masturbation for a really, really long time. This rant has taken about three months to percolate in my mind, and eventually boil over – I estimate that’s roughly 2.5 months longer than the total time I’ve spent wanking in my entire adult life.

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