All Posts – Page 249
IMDb erotica – guess the film from the IMDb guide
What exactly is IMDb erotica? Well. Last night, a gentleman and I were trying to choose which film to watch. We were tired, so wanted something with the right level of vague tittilation but zero intellectual merit.
On our search, we found possibly one of the most beautiful things in the world: IMDB erotica.
By which I mean “the content notes for films on IMDB.” They’re poetic, delicious, hilarious run-downs of all the sexy bits in the film, as written by a breathless youth who is probably halfway through a wank. Observe:
My first date was as incompetent as you’d expect
How should I define my first date? There were lots of experiences with boys long before I was ever formally asked to the cinema, or for dinner, or whatever it is people do when they’re not just desperately trying to rummage in each other’s pants.
The first time I kissed a guy (on the lips, no snogging or anything) I was at the swimming pool. Our friends had all got together for an afternoon of splashing around, and I was determined that I’d come home with a boyfriend. The proto-boyfriend, you understand – not a real one. The one you get when you ask your best mate to just go around all the boys who seem vaguely willing and ask them in turn: “Will you go out with my friend?”
Two things: sex chat and satanic wanking
You know that wanking can make you go blind, but did you also know that it opens a hell-portal in your bedroom so that tiny demons can slip into bed beside you and poke you with burning forks? Well, read on for the shocking news, as well as a fab blog post about sex chat with your doctor (not that kind of sex chat – that’s £3 per minute). Here are two things I thought you’d like to see this week…
Sex education: what I wish I’d learned
In my sex education classes at school, I was told that sex was this:
A man puts his penis in a woman until he ejaculates.
There was a lot of stuff surrounding that, of course, all of it important: how to avoid getting pregnant, or reduce the risk of an STI. How the sperm meets the egg. Why menstruation happens. But at the heart of it was that: a man puts his penis in a woman. Train goes in tunnel, you know?
Everything I learned was grounded in that train-in-tunnel thing. Sure, we got timetables, instructions on emergency exits, and a map to where the buffet car was, but we were still always focused on the train.
Two things: data analysis of gender and consent
Two things! Very quick this week because I am busy busy busy busy *collapses in a pile on the floor*. But click through for a couple of things you should definitely check out…