Long-time readers will remember that a few months ago I got very excited by the concept of a Guitar Hero style game, but for wanking. It’s called Cock Hero, and the gentleman who discovered the idea and sent it to me very kindly gave me an in-depth explanation of what Cock Hero is, and why it is so fucking horny.

Essentially you masturbate in time to a beat, along to a montage of porn put together specifically to challenge you. It begins fairly softcore, and the beat counter at the bottom of the screen directs you in slow, occasional strokes. Then as the game progresses, the porn gets more intense and the beat counter speeds up, whipping you into a rhythmic frenzy until it’s all you can do to hold back on the inevitable jizzsplosion.

Naturally I was intrigued, and I have spent the next few months getting involved in Cock Hero on a casual gaming basis, because I like playing with dicks and I am lucky enough to know a guy who’ll let me have a go on his in the name of Friday-night fun. I thought I’d give you a run-down of my own tips and hacks, in case you fancy playing yourself. It is probably the niche-est article I have ever written, and it may only be of interest to me, so I have tried to spice it up with some detailed descriptions of wanking people off.

Ready? Let’s go.

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Today’s guest blog (which includes discussion of rape and sexual assault), was written after something very odd happened. It happened just before Christmas, and thanks to a combination of anxiety and Christmas stress I wasn’t keen to delve too deeply into it at the time. But New Year is a time for Getting On With Stuff, and what better things to be Getting On With than calling out shitty companies who behave badly?

A company called Quite Delightful (who tweet under @QuiteBriefly on Twitter), got into something of a heated debate in December about James Deen. In case you’re not aware, many women have accused Deen of rape or sexual assault, and Deen has denied the allegations. The statements that Quite Delightful made showed what I think is a pretty callous attitude towards people who have been raped or sexually assaulted.

On a personal level, I obviously disagree with QD. On a boring professional level, I’m pretty surprised that this company was happy to alienate a whole bunch of sex writers, customers, and potential customers – not just dismissing them but tweeting in a way that all their followers could see, thus inviting others to come and tell us just how wrong we were. It bothers me because I have seen the company (which publishes an ‘erotic magazine by and for women’) recommended by a number of people I respect in the sex industry, and I figure there are probably quite a few of them who are unaware of the comments @QuiteBriefly made, because they have since deleted their tweets.

So many thanks to @sophable – a customer of theirs, who has kindly offered to explain why this left a very bad impression.

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Welcome to what I hope will be a New Project for 2016: two things.

I am powered by a combination of inspiration and rage. Inspiration, where I try to be more like people who are better than me, and rage, where I get fired up about things and people and companies that are appallingly shit.

So… on Monday mornings I’m going to try and highlight one thing that’s awesome and one that’s awful, thus kickstarting the week with a combination of inspiration and rage.

Let’s start with the rage:

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Naturally when I do ‘top X posts’ roundups, those that get to the top of the list in terms of visits will be the dirtier ones, because dirty stories usually get the most search traffic.

Any post I write which contains the phrase ‘butt plugs’, for instance, is going to do pretty well. So what I’ve done is a top 5 (below) of the most popular guest blogs in terms of visits, and a few extras picked by me purely because I love them. That’s not to say I don’t like the dirty ones, of course. It’s just that, as partners have told me before, life cannot all be about butt plugs.  (more…)