This blog post was written in response to the question: are there any sex things that you don’t like? Here’s where my mind went first.

I am probably similar to a lot of British people who grew up in the late nineties, in that I first encountered rimming on Queer as Folk (the UK version, which is categorically better than the US version because of Stuart Alan Jones). In the first ever episode, Nathan (played by Charlie Hunnam when he was young and pre-beardy) gets naked and thoroughly fucked by the stunning Aidan Gillen. Amid the sweat and the panting and the deafening thud of my aching, hormonal cunt, I heard Stuart (Aidan Gillen) ask Nathan what he was into. Nathan pauses so Stuart prompts:

“Rimming?”

There’s a pause, as we realise that the young ‘un has absolutely no idea what that is. Still, he’s as horny as a teenager with a hot guy sweating all over him, so obviously he says yes. And the sight of Stuart’s tongue sliding wetly up and down Nathan’s back, eventually coming to rest in the crack of his buttocks is something I still occasionally kill kittens over.

But of course, alongside all my other thoughts – are there nerve endings there? Is it really pleasurable? If I asked him really nicely, would an Aidan Gillen lookalike ever do the same to me? – was the most important rimming-related question: what does it actually taste like?

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I am a total sucker for beautiful descriptions of BDSM, so when this week’s guest blogger popped up in the comments on a blog about subspace, it made me really shivery. Today he’s here to go into a bit more detail, specifically about one of the most intense kink implements: the cane.

Please welcome BibulousOne – if you’re a fan of the cane, you’ll probably have a lot in common…

Update: he now has his own sex blog, so click the link to check out more of his writing.

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There’s a man who is half-human and half-legend. He is fierce, strong, powerful. He can pick you up with his bare hands, flip you over his knee, and give you a spanking so perfect that it will transport you to a new realm of ecstasy. Afterwards he will fuck you so skilfully that you will become aware of a new level of orgasmic joy.

That man is the Superdom.

If you’re lucky enough to meet him, it will probably be on a kink forum somewhere. Perhaps he will write a post explaining to other, lesser Doms how to control a submissive, hinting that if you’re lucky you could be one of them. Maybe he slides into your private messages with an order to “Obey.” If you don’t immediately slick your knickers/pop a huge, granite-hard boner, then you are probably not the submissive for him. He does not want your questions or your negotiation: he demands only your unquestioning obedience.

Superdom, sadly, is all too real. I met a fair few incarnations of him when I was pretty active on the kink scene. He’d look at you with smouldering eyes, and tell you exactly what he was going to do. He’d usually let you know that you could only come if he ordered you to, and that you’d come at exactly the moment he specified (yeah, right). He’d give you lists of punishments and tasks and insist on you calling him ‘Sir’, even if you’d never agreed to submit to him.

He was a dick.

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This week’s guest blogger is an erotic author who got in touch because she wanted to write about a fantasy that doesn’t often get coverage: women paying for sex with guys. A few months ago Anthony, a sex worker, dropped by to write a guest blog on the politics of paying for pleasure with a male escort. This week, Helen J Perry is here to talk about her fantasies about paying for sex.

She’s especially interested to find out if others share similar fantasies (I strongly suspect they do), so please do comment if you can, and if you’d like to read some erotica which is focused around male sex work, check out her book Deviant – which she has kindly dropped to 99p/99 cents on Kindle for this weekend to coincide with this guest blog going live. And if you’d like to read some erotica which is focused around women paying for sex, check out Boxes – by Helen J Perry and Adria Kane.

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