All Posts – Page 267
Facials: why a face-full of semen is like a Christmas pudding
Fun fact: I once spent an entire week wanking to nothing other than a gif someone had made of a particular moment in a homemade porn film, where the woman squeezed her eyes tight shut and grinned as the guy emptied an astonishingly generous load all over her face. Let’s talk about facials, shall we?
Guest blog: Plushophilia – the lioness sleeps with me tonight
There’s a question I’d never thought to ask myself about my own personal kinks: if you could flick a switch and make this go away – make your desires fit neatly with what most people see as ‘normal’, would you do it? This week’s guest blogger has asked that question, and has a bloody brilliant answer.
He’s also written beautifully about his fetish – Plushophilia – what the appeal is, how it works for him, and how other people have reacted. It’s an amazing post, and I’m delighted that he’s chosen to share it here.
Threesome director: Teach this stranger how to fuck me
“Two dudes.”
“Fuck’s sake – I know. You always want two dudes.”
“Yes but but but but. It’s more than that.”
“Honest?”
“Honest. The specific nature of this two-dudes fantasy makes it different to all the rest.”
“Really?”
Really. Let me tell you about my threesome director fantasy…
All the ways in which Star Wars stopped me getting laid
OR: The inevitable folly of pretending you like shit just to get people to fuck you
I fucking hate Star Wars. I hate it. I hate it more than any reasonable human could be expected to hate a thing. Are the films themselves shit? Maybe. I have only seen one and a half of them (don’t ask me which ones, I could not give one iota of a toss).
I hate Star Wars because, on numerous occasions, my ignorance of it has stood in the way of me getting laid.
I am a fan of nerdy people. I think they’re hot and I like to fuck them. I would happily take five or six of the nerdiest people I know, lie them in a row on a giant double bed covered in Darth Vader bedsheets, and fuck them until one or other of them awakened the force.
Like Doctor Who, I tried to get into Star Wars because (shameless, shameless, shameless) quite a few nerdy guys I fancied kept talking about it, and I figured that if I wanted to get some geek dick I would need to learn what a Milennium Falcon was. Luckily for me, Doctor Who is really good, so what began as a gentle foray into something (“I like horror so I’ll go in with Weeping Angels and OH MY GOD THIS IS EXCELLENT PLEASE PUT ALL OF IT INTO MY BRAIN”) turned into a pretty long term love affair.
Unluckily for me, Star Wars is a tedious, overhyped shitshower, and Luke Skywalker isn’t even hot.
Guest blog: An intro to pony play
I’ve been desperate for an article on pony play for ages – it’s fascinating and cool and all the things that get me excited. The trappings seem satisfying and kinky, the role-play seems difficult yet deliciously immersive.