All Posts – Page 275
“Sin” – a dirty sex story inspired by lipstick and @sexblogofsorts
There’s an amazing community of sex bloggers who write delicious smut, post gorgeous pictures, and generally keep the world of hotness turning, and until now I’ve been rubbish at joining in with all the fun weekly memes and story competitions that they run. So my resolution for this month (and next as well if I can keep it up) is to Join In with at least one thing each week – Sinful Sunday, Wicked Wednesday, and others too.
To start I thought I’d have a bash at writing some fiction. The awesome @sexblogofsorts, who I have a huge writers’ crush on because she writes so beautifully, is running a short story competition. The deal is she gives you the name of a lipstick, and you use that as the title for your story. Unfortunately, I’ve not written much fiction before, so I’m a bit ham-fisted with it, and my fiction stories always tend toward the ‘teenage goth’ genre. I was going to try and avoid teenage goth, but then @sexblogofsorts gave me my title, and it was “Sin” so…
The following story is possibly blasphemous, so if you’re super-religious you might not enjoy it. It’s also a dirty sex story, obviously, so best not to read it on the bus.
Subspace: what is it and how do I get into the zone?
It took me a long time to work out what subspace really was. When I first started going to kink events I heard so much chat about it – how people would go spacey and woozy during a beating, on a blissed-out high caused by the pain. How afterwards, their dominant would wrap them in blankets and bring them coffee or Coke, and they’d recover slowly, having the fuzzy feeling kissed and stroked away by wet lips and warm hands.
Guest blog: Sex with an older man
I love a sex story that comes dripping with glee and enthusiasm, and this week’s guest blog does that so beautifully… I won’t waste too much time on a long intro, I’ll just let you get stuck in: this week’s guest blog, by CK, is about sex with older men.
So here’s why I’ve been a bit weird lately
I’ve written another book.
Four words feels like all I can manage right now, but I’ll try to elaborate before I curl up in a corner and sleep for a week.
For the last six-ish months, I’ve been writing a new book – it’s about relationship expectations, sex and romance myths, and a whole bunch of other things including why it’s hard to fuck in a spreader bar without falling over, and why mental health issues can sometimes cock up your sex life. It’s a love story for people who don’t really believe in love stories, and hopefully a decent response to those relatives who ask ‘when are you going to settle down?’ If you’ve read my first book, it also answers the question I’m most frequently asked about that one – what happened to number 26?
I’ll have more info on it closer to publication, but for now I’ve only just finished the first draft, and I am in a state of total collapse, so I won’t give you all the details right now. It’s really hard to write about it without sounding like I’m boasting, and it’s also hard not to boast without sounding terse, but suffice to say this is intensely, desperately exciting for me, and also scary, because I really want you all to love it.
It’s going to be published by Blink, who are amazing and brilliant, and I have met lots of their team already (they gave me wine! And listened to me bang on about the merits of going to a spanking party versus watching series 2 of Orange is the New Black!). It’ll also be IN PRINT. This wouldn’t have happened without my agent, Lorella Belli, who is spectacular in every way, or Emily Thomas, my editor at Blink, who has actually made my day/week/month/year… sod it… life.
THANK YOU
I’ll do a whole bunch of thank yous in the bit at the end of the book in which I get to thank people, but for now I just want to say that I have been an appalling human for the last six months, as I stress and worry and hide away to write, and ditch plans last minute and cock up deadlines, so massive thank you to everyone who’s been so supportive, and helped me through it.
Not just my real-life mates, who’ve been amazing, but everyone on Twitter and Facebook and via email and comments on this blog, who has been kind enough to understand when I haven’t been able to respond quickly, and offered virtual hugs and nice words and all that stuff. And especially all the people I freelance for, who’ve been lenient when I haven’t been able to take on extra work, and so kind. You’re all awesome, and I’m incredibly lucky.
On a practical note, if I owe you an email I’m going to Get On It early next week (I need a few days rest, sorry), and if you do want me to work for you (freelance writing, consultancy, all that jazz), I’ve now got time to take on some more, so if you have money and you’d like some words, get in touch.
Buy books and stuff
I’ll let you know asap when it’s available for pre-order: if you subscribe to this blog I’ll make sure to tell you as soon as it’s available. You don’t have to have read my first book in order to read the second, but if you’d like to read book 1, which is basically a torrid history of all the people I’ve ever shagged, along with a few rants about why we shouldn’t be ashamed of being horny, please do buy it now because it’s relatively cheap and I have no idea if/when the price will go up.
I suspect I’ll have a lot of rewrites and tweaks and stuff to do, and I’m also going to do something SUPER FUN to celebrate the new book. I’ll tell you about it soon, but first: sleep.
* GOTN collapses into a pile on the floor*
Fucking in the office
Somewhere, a guy has a photo of me sitting topless in an office chair. Not just an office chair, in fact: the chair he sat at from nine til five, every day for over two years. My face, turned slightly away from the camera, is grinning with post-coital happiness.
How long after you’ve fucked someone in their office can you publish a blog about them without worrying they’ll get fired? Should you wait until they’ve left that job and moved on to another? Until long after you’ve broken up? Until after they’ve given you the go-ahead? Perhaps all three. Perhaps just one or two. Perhaps it doesn’t matter, because here’s one of my favourite sex stories…