All Posts – Page 289
I like to watch you flirt
“I think the barista fancies me,” he explained as we wandered towards the coffee shop. “She’s quite flirty, you know?”
Yeah. I know. I know a million guys who are convinced that the barista in their regular coffee shop fancies them. They pop in of a morning, freshly showered and ready for work, and order their usual from someone who knows how to make it. That loving ritual of giving and receiving hot drink adds an extra tinge of flirtiness to an otherwise mundane transaction. A simple ‘how are you?’ can be transformed into a declaration of playful lust.
“No, she doesn’t fancy you,” I told him, twattishly. “Everyone thinks the barista is flirting with them – they teach them how to do it in barista school.”
“Yeah,” a twitch of something that looks like relief on his face. “You’re probably right.”
Guest blogs: a selection of amazing sex stories
So: each week on Friday I publish a guest blog. They vary from super-hot sex stories to adorably romantic tales, through beautiful rants and sometimes all three. Since I started I’ve had over 60 of these amazing snippets of other people’s sex lives and opinions, and I’ve got plenty more in my drafts folder.
Instead of posting one this week, though, I’m going to give you a few choice pieces from the archive. Why? Lots of reasons. Firstly, and most importantly, some of these were written a good long while ago, before I had lots of traffic. So bumping them gives the writers some love. Secondly, because I’ve been re-reading guest posts to try and work out what I can and should try to commission for future blogs, and I remembered how awesome they are. Thirdly, I care a lot about guest blogs: they aren’t just cheap content to chuck online. I always try to write a wrap, get it signed off by the writer, and promote the blogs so they get a fair shake. But this week’s been a tough one, and I’m exhausted, and for the first time in a really long time, I’ve failed to do that. The fact that I have failed brings me out in a cold sweat, but I hope you understand, and I really hope you’ll check out some of the gorgeous writing in the links below.
A guy with no sense of humour walks into a bar
Sorry ladies, the news is in. A study of 80 dudes somewhere in America, as reported by world class science journal The Metro, concluded that men don’t want you to have a sense of humour. Well, they do want you to have a sense of humour, but one which means you laugh at all their jokes rather than coming up with your own.
It’s a shame, because for so many years we straight girls have been desperately trying to earn the right to write ‘GSOH’ on our dating profiles. Guys might complain that we’re taking an hour to pick an outfit before a night out, but they don’t realise that while they’re tapping watches and rattling car keys we’ve spent forty-five minutes putting the finishing touches to our favourite version of that Aristocrats story.
I’m joking, of course, but you’re not obliged to laugh.
Edging: the hotness of aching to come, and the moment you finally do
He sent me a picture of it once – swollen, bright red, and leaking a fat, shiny drop of pre-come. Skin so taut I could tell he’d been edging, even if he hadn’t told me. Seven days’ worth, if I remember correctly. Seven days of edging – touching it, stroking it, playing gently enough that he wouldn’t quite climax. Until the whole thing ached and he had to go to extreme lengths to get settled down before he had to leave the house. Digging fingernails into his thighs, cold water, that kind of thing…
Guest blog: Ain’t no man like mine ‘cept mine
What makes someone sexy? This week’s guest blogger – Dee Emm Elms – lays down some significant truths about desire, via a really unusual crush. Her post is one of the best things anyone’s ever sent me, and I truly hope you understand why.