All Posts – Page 293
I bet you think this blog is about you
“I fucking nailed it. I am awesome.”
You are awesome. And something about the way you carry that confidence is beyond sexy. When you’ve nailed something you’re proud of and you carry yourself with a certain kind of swagger… unngh.
A new thing for 2015 in which we give away free sex toys
UPDATE March 2016: I’ve put this on hold for the moment, for lots of different reasons. I’ll try and revisit it at some point, but for now please don’t submit any more sex fairies requests.
Ever wanted to test a particular sex toy, or fancied trying your hand at sex blogging? Well, now you can do both, and get paid for it.
As a sex blogger, I am frequently offered new toys to try out – from intense vibrators to amazing bits of bondage equipment. Unfortunately, I find it easier to write hot stories than reviews (other people do sex toy reviews way better than I ever could), and I’d need at least twenty-five lovers and a hell of a lot of clones to cover everything.
So I thought I’d throw the opportunity open to you, and give my sponsor the opportunity to play ‘benevolent sex fairy’ at the same time. If there’s a sex toy (or lingerie set, item of bondage equipment, brand of lube or anything else) that you’ve always wanted to try, then SexToys.co.uk has kindly agreed to make your dreams come true.
Sexy lingerie versus casual sleepwear
I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that sexy lingerie is for other people. The kind of people who can smile coquettishly and raise a solitary eyebrow, who sashay through a room rather than stomp across it, and who lounge sexily on a bedspread rather than throw themselves onto it in exhaustion after a long day.
When I smile coquettishly I just look smug, and although I’d love to do the saucy eyebrow-raise, when I attempt it I just look like I’m trying (and failing) to remember pi.
Lace knickers, half-cup bras, suspender belts and thongs and camis and silky, see-through dressing gowns that press against my tits to show the colour contrast of nipples and skin… ah, I’d love to be able to wear this stuff like the ladies in the lingerie catalogues. But even though I can’t pull this stuff off, there’s one kind of outfit that I find even sexier…
14 things that I loved in 2014
Every year I resolve to be better at promoting other people’s stuff, and every year I fail to live up to my own expectations. Absurdly, this is mainly because I get anxious and end up panicking that I’ll miss people off the list, which means I end up missing everyone off the list, because there is no list.
So this year I’m resolving to be better. And I’ll start with a list of 14 things I’ve loved this year. Some made me think, some made me laugh, and some made me horny. It’s not a definitive list, and I’ve almost certainly missed some cracking stuff, so if you want to pimp a particular blog post and go ‘hey, what about me?!’ please do add it in the comments. And if you email me your blog feed, and use the subject heading “Come the fuck on, GOTN, read my blog”, I promise I will add you to my feedly. Let’s make 2015 the year when I get off my arse.
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The tragedy of older women
I suspect this might be a first time this warning’s been put on a sex blog, but the following post contains spoilers for this year’s Doctor Who Christmas Special. I promise you it’s relevant.
My Mum finds it hard to get served at the bar.
I’ve seen it happen: she’ll be there for twice as long as most other people. She waits, purse in hand, trying to catch the eye of the bar staff, and making sure that she’s standing assertively. She’s not shy or nervous, hanging back or offering her place in line to other people – she’s just there, prominent yet invisible. Unnoticed. And people around her – younger people, and older men, nip ahead and throw their orders in.
And she waits.