All Posts – Page 295
What’s your ‘magic number’?
I have a list of all the people I’ve fucked. I know, that sounds intensely weird, and also a little bit creepy. I compiled it many years ago after a long, hazy night in a bar in Amsterdam, during which a good friend and I tried to work out what our ‘magic numbers’ were. I wasn’t particularly bothered about the total, but the exercise gave me pause for thought, and subsequent enraged weeping, when I realised that I couldn’t remember everyone’s name.
I thought I’d got it right at first. I counted people off on my fingers, smiling with glee when I got to a particularly good one, hissing when I reached the name of a person who’d fucked me over, and reminiscing over some of the filthier moments of my life. He did the same, regaling me with some sexy anecdotes as we sipped pints and hoped no one would notice that we were flagrantly ignoring the weird ‘you can smoke weed but not cigarettes’ rule that had just come into force.
Eventually, we both settled on our final numbers, and we clinked glasses – delighted at our powers of recollection.
An hour or so later, a cold dread crept over me: I’d missed one out. Not just any one either – a pretty significant guy, with whom I’d had some fairly intense experiences. Back to the mental drawing board, and the back of a napkin to make notes. And eventually the final list which, while possibly a bit strange, was a godsend when it came to writing my book: it meant I got the chapters in the right order and didn’t have to go back to cram in a quick fuck that I’d somehow forgotten.
Tight corsets and stable boys – historical fantasy is the hottest
You know how you’ll go through phases in terms of what you fantasise about? Well, maybe not everyone does, but I do. One week I might be obsessed with the idea of locking eyes with a stranger on the tube, staying on the train with him until our carriage is empty at the end of the line, until – with a quick jerk of his head and a filthy smile – he invites me to sit down on his cock and ride him to the final stop. Other weeks I might need more guys to make the fantasy complete – three or four willing gentlemen who pop round my house to gangbang me on the sofa – that kind of thing.
Right now, though, I am obsessed with historical fucking. Snatched moments between princes and parlour-maids, gentlewomen and stable hands – frilly skirts being hoiked up to the waist and corsets yanked down to expose jiggling tits as someone’s fucked against the wall.
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Guest blog – a butt plug and a frustrating breakfast
Mmm… secret sexiness. You know the type – when you and someone else share a filthy secret in public. One of you is wearing no pants, or you’ve been given a sexy challenge, or – as is the case with this guest blog – you’re wearing a sex toy in public, and you have to keep a straight face.
This week’s guest blog is by @Absolutely_Ruby, who started her own sex blog in 2014, and it’s well worth checking out because it’s smoking hot. I cannot think of a better way to start 2015’s guest blogs than with her story of butt plugs, sexual tension, and a really frustrating breakfast…
I bet you think this blog is about you
“I fucking nailed it. I am awesome.”
You are awesome. And something about the way you carry that confidence is beyond sexy. When you’ve nailed something you’re proud of and you carry yourself with a certain kind of swagger… unngh.
A new thing for 2015 in which we give away free sex toys
UPDATE March 2016: I’ve put this on hold for the moment, for lots of different reasons. I’ll try and revisit it at some point, but for now please don’t submit any more sex fairies requests.
Ever wanted to test a particular sex toy, or fancied trying your hand at sex blogging? Well, now you can do both, and get paid for it.
As a sex blogger, I am frequently offered new toys to try out – from intense vibrators to amazing bits of bondage equipment. Unfortunately, I find it easier to write hot stories than reviews (other people do sex toy reviews way better than I ever could), and I’d need at least twenty-five lovers and a hell of a lot of clones to cover everything.
So I thought I’d throw the opportunity open to you, and give my sponsor the opportunity to play ‘benevolent sex fairy’ at the same time. If there’s a sex toy (or lingerie set, item of bondage equipment, brand of lube or anything else) that you’ve always wanted to try, then SexToys.co.uk has kindly agreed to make your dreams come true.