All Posts – Page 296
A guy with no sense of humour walks into a bar
Sorry ladies, the news is in. A study of 80 dudes somewhere in America, as reported by world class science journal The Metro, concluded that men don’t want you to have a sense of humour. Well, they do want you to have a sense of humour, but one which means you laugh at all their jokes rather than coming up with your own.
It’s a shame, because for so many years we straight girls have been desperately trying to earn the right to write ‘GSOH’ on our dating profiles. Guys might complain that we’re taking an hour to pick an outfit before a night out, but they don’t realise that while they’re tapping watches and rattling car keys we’ve spent forty-five minutes putting the finishing touches to our favourite version of that Aristocrats story.
I’m joking, of course, but you’re not obliged to laugh.
Edging: the hotness of aching to come, and the moment you finally do
He sent me a picture of it once – swollen, bright red, and leaking a fat, shiny drop of pre-come. Skin so taut I could tell he’d been edging, even if he hadn’t told me. Seven days’ worth, if I remember correctly. Seven days of edging – touching it, stroking it, playing gently enough that he wouldn’t quite climax. Until the whole thing ached and he had to go to extreme lengths to get settled down before he had to leave the house. Digging fingernails into his thighs, cold water, that kind of thing…
Guest blog: Ain’t no man like mine ‘cept mine
What makes someone sexy? This week’s guest blogger – Dee Emm Elms – lays down some significant truths about desire, via a really unusual crush. Her post is one of the best things anyone’s ever sent me, and I truly hope you understand why.
People who write erotica are fucking magical (Erotic World Book Day post)
For a writer, I have painfully little imagination. Sometimes things pop into my head – filthy scenarios or interesting characters, or an unusual image that relates to a twist in a story I just can’t quite plot. One day I’d like to be better at writing fiction – to write a book in which the stories are ones I’ve invented rather than lived.
BlueMotion Nex 1 panty vibrator: a dirty little secret
Ever wondered what it’d be like to be stimulated in public by an eager person with a vibe control in their hand?
This is the first post in my Sex Fairies project (where anyone can request a sex toy they’ve always wanted, and SexToys.co.uk make some of those dreams come true). When I started it I was inundated with awesome suggestions and requests for toys, but one toy got more requests than any other: The BlueMotion Nex 1 Panty Vibe. Why? Well perhaps it’s because it’s futuristic and stuff: the vibe sits in your pants and is controlled by an app on your phone, meaning you can give your handset to someone else and let them dial up or down the vibrations. Perhaps it’s because it’s one of very few sex toys you can use in public without being arrested. Perhaps it’s just because, well, it looks really fucking fun.
The aim of the Sex Fairies project is less about reviewing toys (because lots of bloggers do that really well already) and more about the overall experience. When you’re given a toy you’ve been wanting for a while, does the hotness live up to expectations? We gave a knicker vibrator to a submissive, horny lady and asked her to let us know…