All Posts – Page 48
It’s that time again! Want me to send you a Christmas card?
I know it’s only November, but I need to get Christmas cards ordered now, and I also need to do some Patreon plugging if I’m going to keep the lights on at GOTN HQ when 2023 rolls in. Those of you who’ve been here a while will know that each year Stuart – who draws the gorgeous illustrations that add so much beauty to this site – draws a special sexy Christmas card that I send out to Patreons to say thanks for supporting my work. If you’d like one, sign up now and you can also join us for the hangout on November 20th.
Who is your ideal person?
Last weekend, in the hazy post-party chat that occurs just as the sun rises, one of my friends asked me: who’s your ideal person? Meaning ‘what kind of person would you like to end up with?’ She’s monogamous, so she frames it as one, but ultimately it can apply no matter what your relationship style: what kind of person do you think will bring joy to your sex/romantic life? Who do you think might be right for you?
Sexy threats: Threaten me with a good time
One of my early boyfriends used to make my cunt gush using only five words. Whispered into my ear over drinks with friends, mouthed at me across a crowded room, I think even sometimes pinged into my Nokia phone with a knicker-moistening chime, one of the horniest things to hear from someone you fancy: “you’re SO gonna get it.”
Hi I’m the monster that lives under your bed
Note: references to grief, death and eating. Also, this is honestly not my best. Better Halloween erotica is available on the blog tag.
I feed off your dreams. You knew that, right? But did you know that each dream tastes different? The happy ones are bland and shining. Joy tastes like ashes in my mouth – the bad dreams are where it’s at. The giant spiders chasing you through Covent Garden. Infinite, unwakeable scenes of drowning. Delicious.
I’ve got an idea! Will you turn my fantasy into audio porn?
I could just jam this into the FAQs, but I’m feeling feisty today so it’s going to be a blog post instead. Since I started creating audio porn, one of the most common questions I am asked is ‘will you turn my story/fantasy into audio porn?’ – so I thought I’d have a crack at answering that question.