Sex is rarely ever predictable, especially with a new partner. Although we’re taught that there are certain ‘scripts’ that we should follow when it comes to sex, there are many different factors that make those scripts useless or sometimes even harmful. The individual quirks of our own bodies are definitely key factors here! So I’m excited to welcome Anna (@AnnaDdottir) to the guest blog slot today, with a fabulous and funny piece on the ‘what the fuck’ moments that her disabled body sometimes throws into the mix. Enjoy the guest blog, and check out Anna’s blog here!

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A few days before we’re due to hang out, he texts me a fantasy. Couched in the standard consent-focused caveats (“Only if that sounds hot to you…”) that I find extremely cute – they function essentially as the ‘no worries if not!’ of fucking. His request is neat, specific, and very easy to achieve: he wants to arrive at my place, have me greet him at the door with no words whatsoever, then as soon as he’s inside, drop to my knees and start sucking his dick. No words, just cocksucking.

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As part of operation ‘give myself some time off and a bit of leeway to commission new guest audio’, here’s another piece of improv erotica written using prompts suggested by my extremely lovely and creative Patreons. If you’d like to read all the improv erotica (including a lot that’s never been published here on the site), support the audio porn project at any level and click this link. If you just wanna listen to a story about a lady getting horny in the changing room of a clothes shop, click ‘listen now’ above.

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If there’s a topic on which I’m likely to bond with almost anyone in the world, it’s suckjobs. Take note, lest you and I are ever stuck in a lift together and need to make smalltalk for a few hours till the fire brigade comes, opening with ‘I love giving blowjobs, how about you?’ will guarantee we fill the time without ever needing to mention how the weather’s been lately. This week’s guest blogger has this in common too – JD loves giving blowjobs, and is here to explain in delicious and sexy detail exactly what’s so hot about them. Sadly, as a bisexual AMAB person (AMAB = assigned male at birth), in order to indulge in their love of cocksucking, JD has had to put up with a hefty amount of biphobia and other fuckery from the people whose dicks they’re sucking. Here today with the perfect blend of ‘horny content’ and ‘important education on how not to be a cock when you’re getting your dick sucked’, they explain…

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Listen up, my friend. Come closer. I have something very important to tell you. Your dick is fucking fantastic. Really, truly outstanding. Since the first time I grasped it through the fabric of your boxers I knew: this dick will work wonders. It’s a memorable cock. It literally sparks fucking joy. That same dick can also, I assure you, break hearts. So I’m gonna say something that I do not say to everyone: you’ve got an exceptional dick, please use it wisely.

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