The joy of fantasy and erotica is that you can live out scenarios which you may not be able to do in real life – or might hope for in the future, but which haven’t happened to fall into your lap yet in quite the right way. Today’s guest blogger, Sameerah from Erotics and Whatnot, is here to tell you a story about impulsive sex and the single woman. When she meets a guy on the bus, she’s offered a flash of opportunity. And this time, she might just reach out to take it…

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As part of my run of getting sex toy blog posts written up so you know what to buy before Christmas, let’s get stuck into this quickly so you’ve plenty of time to shove one in your basket. There are two things I love about the Pillow Talk Sassy vibe (kindly sent to me by my site sponsor The Pleasure Garden). The first is its simplicity. The second is that when I first had a wank with it, I came in under thirty seconds.

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I don’t know if I’m allowed to just invent a piece of sex etiquette, like I’m the editor of NSFW Debrett’s, but if I were allowed to do that, I’d suggest an etiquette rule like this: if you’re fucking someone with a butt toy in, and you have the ability to hold it there while you pound them, you absolutely should. So for instance, if we’re fucking doggy-style, one hand laid on my butt with a steadying thumb against the base of the plug (not pushing in, just holding still) will calm my anxious mind and mean I can focus on the shag rather than the worry that I’m about to inadvertently shoot it across the room. This rule brought to you by a woman who – no matter how safe the butt plug or how secure it feels in my ass, the second you start to plough away I will immediately panic that my lubed-up arse might accidentally blast it at your stomach like a rocket launcher. My top concern with anal toys is not whether they’re going to get in, but whether they might just slip out. That was my key concern with the Hot Octopuss Plex, and why I tested it in ways that may seem silly to you, but which for me formed vital anxiety-calming prep before I (hopefully) get to use this during sex.

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I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but I’ve been trying extremely hard not to write anything about my ex-boyfriend lately. Although I wrote a post about endings which I shared with people on Patreon, I didn’t publish that here in public and there’s been only one thing on the break-up diaries tag since the summer. Please dispense medals and cookies accordingly! Then immediately snatch those medals and cookies back, because inevitably I’m about to have some Big Feelings about him in this post! I’m allowing myself a quick burst of emotion for reasons that I won’t fully explain, but which I will try to justify with excuses that sound poetic but are only half the story. Getting over a break-up involves a lot of waffling and emotional incontinence! Strap in!

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I love a bit of kinky DIY – sometimes the hot things you want aren’t available in the world. Or at least not available to you – sex toys might be hard to come by or out of your budget or not quite perfect, so you find yourself cloning someone’s dick or building your own spanking bench or milking machine, just for the sheer fun of creating something sexy. When this week’s guest blogger got in touch to tell me he’d been making his own dildos, I was super excited to find out about the process. Be aware, though, that as a general rule I don’t recommend making your own sex toys unless you seriously know what you’re doing: some of the things described in this post are not entirely safe (anal toys need a flared base, and your materials need to be guaranteed non-porous before you insert them), so while I hope you can enjoy the details as much as I did, he and I are both bringing you this fun DIY adventure with a big sign stapled to the side of it that says ‘don’t try this at home.’

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