I love a bit of kinky DIY – sometimes the hot things you want aren’t available in the world. Or at least not available to you – sex toys might be hard to come by or out of your budget or not quite perfect, so you find yourself cloning someone’s dick or building your own spanking bench or milking machine, just for the sheer fun of creating something sexy. When this week’s guest blogger got in touch to tell me he’d been making his own dildos, I was super excited to find out about the process. Be aware, though, that as a general rule I don’t recommend making your own sex toys unless you seriously know what you’re doing: some of the things described in this post are not entirely safe (anal toys need a flared base, and your materials need to be guaranteed non-porous before you insert them), so while I hope you can enjoy the details as much as I did, he and I are both bringing you this fun DIY adventure with a big sign stapled to the side of it that says ‘don’t try this at home.’

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It’s important to me that you know this: I don’t publish sexy blog stories about people without their permission. That hasn’t always been the case – when I first started blogging I wrote about people who were so far in my past that I couldn’t have popped back up in their lives to get their OK, so I just fudged a lot of details and shot for anonymity. These days, everyone I’ve slept with recently knows that I’m girl on the net, which handily bypasses some of the more awkward conversations I might have to have with a stranger, and also means there’s no excuse to not ask before I turn our fuckstories into #content. So: sex writing and consent. Do people approve their blog posts? And if so, how does that work?

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There are marks on my thighs, on my arse, on my tits, and on my brain. All of those marks will fade. I could take pictures of the first three, but I’m terrible at photos, and even my very best attempts can’t hope to capture the things I really want to remember. The ache in my limbs and the sting of the flogger and the satisfaction of being held down and fucked. The all-encompassing, electric joy of getting ruined by two people at once.

This post features BDSM and impact play, some of it quite vicious. All of it extremely consensual. I don’t know how well I have written consent into this story, because I am too busy trying to capture the things that happened, but yeah… please understand that holy shit this is all consensual-as-fuck. It was more than consensual: it was a fucking gift.

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I’m a big fan of masturbation sheaths – the squishy, textured, beautiful toys that you can use to add extra sensation to a dick-focused wank. I’ve written a lot about them here in the past, including a piece about one of the very best: the Tenga Flip Hole Zero EV (crap name, brilliant toy). I’ve also had guest writers extol the virtues of Tenga here too, most notably in this piece by Luke about the standard Tenga Flip Hole. This week’s post is a lot more personal, though, and I’m really honoured that today’s anonymous guest has chosen to share his story here. If you’re interested in trying out these kinds of toys, I hope his experience can give you a nudge in the direction of prioritising your pleasure: he’s written a beautiful love letter to Tenga.

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Recently I wrote the easiest guide to dirty talk in the English-speaking world. I am a fan of trying to simplify sex things to get more people on board with doing them, and I am quite proud of that guide – I reckon people who’ve never talked dirty before might find it useful. I thought I’d have a go at doing something similar for sex comms more generally. And this one’s even simpler: all you need is three words. One phrase. Learn it, and get instantly better at sexual communication. Ready? Brace yourself…

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