A selection of text messages I sent a while ago to spread some important news (I got laid).

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It’s that time of year again, and honestly while I wanna adopt a world-weary tone of ‘oh God yet more sex toy sales’, it’d be churlish of me to do that because this genuinely is one of the best times of year to pick up some bargains. This page is going live with the currently available sex toy deals and I’ll update it each time another site sponsor opens up their Black Friday sex toy deals, so keep an eye on the page.

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Firstly, welcome! Thank you so much for coming. Please help yourself to coffee and cake – I made three different kinds of cake because I’d like to make sure there’s something you enjoy. I admire and respect and very desperately want to impress you. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your time today, and I’ll try not to waste a single second of it, so let’s get stuck in. I’ve prepared a brief presentation on why you should let me borrow your boyfriend.

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For libel reasons, I’m gonna front-load the intro here by pointing out that this week’s guest blogger, Sheebaby, did not have sex with actual Lewis Hamilton. But sometimes you bond with someone over a hobby or shared interest – in this case Formula One – and in Sheebaby’s case that bond led to some seriously hot online sex…

Content note: this post contains brief use of the term ‘daddy’ as an honorific. 

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I should probably not get into the habit of telling you stories that haven’t happened yet, but something about the thrill of this was almost – almost – hornier than having actual sex. It started with a conversation at a party, one that involved me whispering something in someone’s ear. Something that started with ‘this might sound weird’ and ended with the words ‘…please ruin me.’

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