Inside you there are two wolves. One of the wolves is slutty-as-hell. She wants to get fucked and fucked up: suck dicks, swallow cum, be brutally whipped and beaten by a parade of eager partners. Have someone hold her nose while she chokes on cock, and have someone else slide butt plugs into her ass to make her cunt tighter while she’s pounded. The other wolf wants to be loved.

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An imaginary conversation with an imaginary guy who does not yet know about the sex blog. File this, along with so much else, under ‘why I’m not on dating sites right now.’

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It’s been a while since the genius Jenby (aka @JenetalTorture) guest blogged for me, but if you’re familiar with her incredible past work (Pun-tastic pony play, anyone? Bimbofication? Squirting? Read the lot, treat yourself!) you will understand why, when her pitch email popped up in my inbox, I positively squeaked with glee. All her work is clever, funny, horny, and kinky-as-fuck, and frankly if I had been asked which writer I thought most likely to have had intense fun with a surveillance kink, her name would be top of the list. Got yourself a smart home? Know that it can be used to absolutely fuck with you…

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A selection of text messages I sent a while ago to spread some important news (I got laid).

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It’s that time of year again, and honestly while I wanna adopt a world-weary tone of ‘oh God yet more sex toy sales’, it’d be churlish of me to do that because this genuinely is one of the best times of year to pick up some bargains. This page is going live with the currently available sex toy deals and I’ll update it each time another site sponsor opens up their Black Friday sex toy deals, so keep an eye on the page.

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