Regular readers will know how much I enjoy stories of first times: there is so much in life to discover, and even if I’m not able (or inclined) to discover a particular kink for myself, there’s a huge amount of vicarious joy to experience in hearing about someone else’s first time ‘thing.’ This week, I’m welcoming back Emilia Romero, whose words have already shattered my heart then knit it back together again in this beautiful piece about finding BDSM, as well as delivering exuberant joy in this post about discovering Doxy. Today she’s back to talk about a new adventure with her friend N, and how camming with him helped her feel seen…

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I am not very good at saying ‘no’ to fun stuff. Some people have told me I have an ‘addictive personality’, but I think I just have no willpower. If something is available that gives me pleasure (cigarettes, dick, [redacted in case my Mum ever stumbles across this], wine, vodka, massively powerful wand vibrators, chocolate-covered peanuts, McCoy’s salt and vinegar crisps, etc etc etc) then I rarely have the inner strength to turn it down. So often the only way for me to avoid getting sucked in to unhealthy obsession with something is to avoid trying it in the first place. Unfortunately for me, Hot Octopuss is a sponsor of my website, so I was duty-bound to try out their new Kurve g-spot vibe: now I am addicted. Fuck you, Hot Octopuss.

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A while back, my site sponsors Hot Octopuss offered to bring some sex toy joy to lockdown by giving away a few of their awesome wank toys. As I’ve already written about many of Hot Octopuss’ kickass sex toys, I asked people to email me with fun new ideas on what they’d like to do with the sex toys on offer. Enter Tess, whose idea leapt out at me immediately, sitting as it does at the neat intersection of nerdery and hotness: she wanted to explore whether gaming with sex toys (i.e. playing her usual video games but with a Hot Octopuss Pulse vibe to distract her) could help her achieve some deliciously fun, edging-style orgasms. I think you’ll agree that although her gaming strategy fell by the wayside, the experiment was definitely worthwhile…

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Is there any advice you could give your partner(s) that applies equally to your sexual life and your romantic life? As a general rule, my answer would be ‘no’, because in bed I want to be used and degraded but outside it I want support and kindness and equality. However, recently I realised there’s one broad rule that might apply to almost every aspect of interacting with me: the tighter you hold me, the harder I struggle.

This post features discussion of anxiety and also a real-life scene with elements of consensual non-consent. I know, right? I contain multitudes. If you like the idea of struggle-fucking as described in this post, know you’re gonna need to put the work in first: talk to your partner in detail about what you both want, and how you can withdraw consent if you want to. 

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As far as feats of sexual contortionism go, I thought Oxy had climbed the giddiest possible height when he wrote this guest blog about managing to suck his own cock. But I was wrong. Self-administered oral sex, it turns out, isn’t just for those with dicks. Today, Sara Cane (@saracanewrites) has a blow-by-blow (or should that be ‘lick-by-lick’?) account of how she used to lick her own clit. The whys, the hows, and the wildly impressive feats of self-contortion.

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