Girl on the Net

Every year I resolve to be better at promoting other people’s stuff, and every year I fail to live up to my own expectations. Absurdly, this is mainly because I get anxious and end up panicking that I’ll miss people off the list, which means I end up missing everyone off the list, because there is no list.

So this year I’m resolving to be better. And I’ll start with a list of 14 things I’ve loved this year. Some made me think, some made me laugh, and some made me horny. It’s not a definitive list, and I’ve almost certainly missed some cracking stuff, so if you want to pimp a particular blog post and go ‘hey, what about me?!’ please do add it in the comments. And if you email me your blog feed, and use the subject heading “Come the fuck on, GOTN, read my blog”, I promise I will add you to my feedly. Let’s make 2015 the year when I get off my arse.

In no order at all, then, 14 amazing things:

Online dating tips for the fat babe

This was the first post that leapt to the front of my mind when I started making a list. This year I have discovered ArchedEyebrow, who has more style in her little finger than I have in my entire wardrobe. And she’s also really wise and no-fucking-nonsense when it comes to dating. Her blog, online dating tips for the fat babe, is one of my favourites.

“Don’t be at the mercy of everyone else: ask out the people you fancy, not the people you think will fancy you.”

Q+A on monogamy

Meg John Barker is bloody wise and brilliant and knows a hell of a lot about relationships, dating, sex, gender, and all the things that fascinate me. A while ago I wrote something about monogamy and polyamory, which was a kind of stumbling attempt to get my head around relationship expectations, and then shortly afterwards Meg posted a primer on monogamy on their blog – Rewriting the Rules – which answered lots of the questions that had been floating around my head.

“I think that there is a problem when any one model of relationships gets presented as the ideal and/or only acceptable way of doing relationships. It would be just as much of a problem if the ideal was that everybody had to have five concurrent partners, or that relationships were only expected to last for two years, for example.”

Relationship Venn Diagrams

While we’re on advice, I can’t *not* mention Bish, whose advice for young people on sex and relationships is about seventy million times better than the advice I got when I was at school. As a consequence, I learn a shitload from him even as an adult. I was pretty bloody impressed with his relationship venn diagrams this year, because I took one look at a couple and went ‘huh, I’ve totally had relationships like that.’ Check ’em out.

Suicide and depression are not selfish

If there were an award for a blog that had been most frequently shared and RTd by friends of mine who have mental health issues, this would take it hands down. Dean Burnett’s blog post in Guardian Science is a searing rebuttal to anyone who’s ever said suicide and depression are ‘selfish’, and it’s precise and bold and it really struck a chord with me.

“dismissing the concerns of a genuine depression sufferer on the grounds that you’ve been miserable and got over it is like dismissing the issues faced by someone who’s had to have their arm amputated because you once had a paper cut and it didn’t bother you.”

My fantasy made flesh

I wanted to include a video on here, because while I am appalling at visual things, I work with lots of people who create beautiful imagery and videos, and some seriously hot stuff. I was struggling to decide between all the awesome scenes, but one swept in at the last moment and begged to be posted. Just last week Pandora (who runs Dreams of Spanking) sent me the latest video and it was – almost move for move – the same as a fantasy that’s been in my own head for quite some time. It’s called ‘Playing Truant‘ and it features Alex Reynolds and Paul Kennedy. If you don’t have a subscription you can still see the preview.

Declaration of interest: I work for Dreams of Spanking. I don’t get paid to write about it here, I just feel like the site has been a pretty significant part of my year so not including anything from it would be very odd indeed. Likewise I also want to mention my sponsor, SexToys.co.uk, because they’ve been incredibly supportive this year, and the money they pay for sponsorship helps me keep this blog going, as well as helping me to pay my guest bloggers and Stuart who does the phenomenal illustrations for the site. Buy their stuff, get 10% off using the code GOTN10, and help me keep going through 2015.

Chainbear’s gorgeous pictures

While we’re on the subject, I know this isn’t technically a ‘post’, but I wanted to include something here about Chainbear – aka Stuart Taylor – who has been drawing gorgeous pics to go with my blogposts for half of this year. Every week he surprises me with something so beautiful and so well-suited to the blog that I have no idea how he manages to keep up. You can see the pics all over the site, but my absolute favourite is the one in this post.

Audio porn

I love audio porn – there’s something deeply sexy about a hot voice reading sexy words and leaving that little bit extra to your imagination. This year, @DomSigns sent me a link to some audio he’d made for MollysDailyKiss, and I listened to it a fair few times. Luckily it’s digital rather than on tape, or I’d have warped it long ago from overuse.

Slut shamed and age shamed on OKC

I could put a list here of a bunch of Erica Jagger’s posts, and each and every one of them would be worth a read. I’ve picked one, though, because it was essentially my introduction to Erica, and it deals with our ludicrous attitudes towards female promiscuity, especially when they hit ‘a certain age’. You can find Erica’s blog at Asexywomanofacertainage.com, which is pretty unbeatable, as far as blog urls go.

“There’s an extra layer of shame to being told you’re an old slut. A young woman’s “sluttiness” can be excused in part because she hasn’t lived long enough to buy into social mores, and she’s too hormonal to delay gratification. But an older woman who admits that she likes erotic pleasure without all the packaging? That’s not just slutty, apparently, it’s freakish.”

Massive douchebag takedown

While we’re on the subject of tackling incomparable douchebaggery, I think Cava Supernova deserves a mention. Her post about a date with a guy who could not get his head around the idea of a dominant woman was beautiful. The guy has a whole heap of baggage, including a general disgust for dominant women and a horror of sex work and the ridiculous notion that dominant women are only ever doing it as a job. Spoiler alert: she crushes him.

“I flinched as he leaned forward in his chair and ‘informed’ me that “real women” aren’t like me. “In my experience, women are desperate to give up control. Never the other way around. I’m intense; I like to overwhelm women, and that’s what they like. You’re just being contrary. Intransigent.””

Angry DumbDomme Q+As

While we’re on the subject of crushing putdowns, you should read DumbDomme. She is probably the blogger who most frequently makes me laugh out loud. I was going to link to one of her super-thoughtful posts (and there are bloody loads of them) but on balance, I think the best introduction to her is via her hilarious Q+As, which was how I was introduced a long time ago. If I ever go to America I would like to buy her a beer/vodka/jug of margarita/whatever the hell she wants to drink because I am not the boss of her. No one is the boss of DumbDomme.

Q: Cat Clawed Me! What should I do?
A: Clean the wound with lemon juice and apologize to the cat. Obviously, you did something to displease it.

Gorgeous naked photos

OK, I have a massive massive thing for the Scavenger Hunt, in which sex bloggers collect points for taking naked photos of themselves in unusual places. I’ve banged on and on about it in a previous blog over at my sponsor’s site, but I wanted to mention it here too.

There are lots of people who take part, but to mention them all would be to totally overwhelm you, so I’m just going to show you a few of my favourites. Curvaceous Dee is playful and amazing, and got this fantastic boobs-next-to-an-alligator picture. Modesty Ablaze took a flashing picture on the tube which is still the first image that comes to my mind when I think of the Scavenger Hunt. And Molly? Ah, Molly has taken so many gorgeous pics it’s hard to pick just one. But here’s one of my favourites – a roll in the hay.

Hot monk sex

While we’re on the hot stuff, I can’t *not* mention Exhibit A’s amazing erotica post in which monks fuck each other. It hits a tonne of my personal kinks, and is just… well… read for yourself.

Saul’s tongue had already brought countless women to shaking, sobbing orgasm in the two years since he’d swapped his novice’s tunic for the monk’s habit he was now permitted to wear. With Brother Solomon watching, and methodically applying holy oil to his stout cock, he dragged it between Simeon’s balls and up, till he was able to lap gently at the exposed hole.

Difference is hot

Sex blog of Sorts is excellent, and this post in particular touches on something that I wish we understood and remembered more often.

“I think we’re much better at appreciating how other people’s qualities make them special than we are our own.”

I’ve heard that she may have stopped blogging – I really hope not because I think she’s an amazing writer, but I hope that whatever she’s doing, she’s well.

So there you have it – 14 awesome things of 2014. I hope there’s something on the list that delights you as much as it delighted me, and that you have a fantastic 2015. Please keep supporting the sex bloggers that you love, and recommending me your favourites. I can’t possibly read everything, but I can bloody well try.