Girl on the Net

The thing I love about you, my dear, is your passion. You fight for the things you believe in. I love the way you refuse to give in to men who patronise or bully you. You’re a strong woman, you know that? And if there’s one thing people say about me, it’s that I’m a man who loves strong women.

You’re smart – really smart – that’s what I like about you. I love your passion and expertise. You’re so articulate! I cannot tell you how much I admire the way you explain to other men how they’re wrong. How you put into words some of the things that I’d been thinking, and use them to make the bad guys look smaller. It makes me feel big and good and I love you for that.

If you could just be quiet for a second though, because honestly sometimes I’d like to get a word in edgeways haha!

This is slightly awkward, because although you’re strong and clever, on this particular topic I’m afraid you are wrong. I actually know the answer to this, and it’s OK for us to disagree but you’re challenging me almost as if I’m one of the bad guys! Silly really. There must be a misunderstanding. I’m actually one of the good ones.

Sssh, that’s it. Good girl.

Come here, get into my arms. Let me be close to you. Let me feel the fire in your heart and your belly. Mmm, yeah that’s good. Ouch! Not too hot now – don’t burn me!

I’m not like those others. I love strong women, remember? I’m a feminist too, remember? I was attracted to you for your passion and your strength! So use that strength, of course, but make sure to direct it outwards. At those other men. The ones who don’t love strong women – love you – the way that I do.

I’m the man who loves women with opinions. Your opinions make me feel like I’ve won when I am with you. I’m proud of you, and your words and your courage. Just shut up for a second though, because now it’s my turn to speak and your turn to listen.

I said I’m proud of you! What more do you want? You can’t always be right, you know! Shut up, you’re making me feel bad.

Oh, so I’m meant to feel like I’ve done something wrong, am I? Why are you challenging me? Can’t you just accept that I love you, and I love strong women, so I can’t possibly be the bad guy here?

Yes, I know, you care a lot about this. Sounds like it’s quite personal to you, yeah? So maybe you should accept that on this topic – just this one – your usual strength is slightly… shall we say… emotionally charged? I’m not saying you’re being irrational, I’m just asking you to remind yourself who you’re talking to.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have your opinions – you’re entitled to them, after all! I’m just saying that while I love strong women, I do think sometimes you overdo it a little. It’s quite mean, actually, when you think about it. Yes, you’re being mean. To me.

I love strong women. I enjoy watching you tear other men down when they belittle you or dismiss your expertise and experience. I adore the way you stand up for what you believe in. I enjoy how you challenge people who treat you like shit. I love that you can be soft with me, and gentle with me, and caring and nurturing and reassuring with me, all the while you’re telling these other men where to get off.

If you could just make sure to remember that I’m actually the good guy please. I’m not one of them. I… SSSSH, I’m talking here! I’m fucking talking! When do I EVER get a chance to speak? Sssh.

Sh!

Uh-uh!

Shhh.

Where was I? Oh yes. I love strong women. And I’m a good guy. Remember that, yeah? I am the man who loves strong women.

Why else would I keep one as a pet?