Author Archives: Charlotte Bayes

I'm Charlotte and I'm a sex and relationship writer. I used to write a weekly column at The Face magazine and have written about sex, relationships and disability at places like Vice, Feeld, Novara and others. I started Dick Appointments to write a completely de-santised account about my own dating and sex life. You can find me on Twitter @CharlotteBHC, and in all these other places too.

Fucking his hand, and him: ShoeGaze dude part 2

This fabulous true story about fucking his hand is written by Charlotte Bayes and read as audio by Sherryl Blu. This is part 2, so catch up on part 1 – primed to fuck – if you want them in order. Note that this story contains consensual choking and rough sex.

Last week I missed my writing appointment. I rarely feel guilty about missing a commitment as I have very few morals and no conscience. But I did genuinely feel bad about it as I have come to really love spilling my guts to you about all my Dick Appointments, and going into detail about how I used to shove mascara wands up my fanny.

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Primed to fuck: ShoeGaze Dude part 1

This fabulous true story about being primed to fuck is written by Charlotte Bayes and read as audio by Sherryl Blu. Note that this story contains some consensual choking and rough sex.

Have you ever been really really fucked? Like the type of fucking you see in films or porn, where you are just left a shell of the person you once were, and you can’t move or speak. You’ve had the world’s best orgasms and the earth has been shattered? That was my holy grail, which I obtained last week.

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Savagely fucked by my reply guy

This fabulous casual sex story about getting savagely fucked by a reply guy is written by Charlotte Bayes, read by Sherryl Blu. Note that it contains some consensual choking. 

I do not wish to be perceived as desperate, but after a catalogue of bad experiences both on and off The Apps, I really didn’t know what else to do but to debase myself on Twitter dot com. Asking for a date at the very least on the ‘hell site’ might be able to at least bring some more like-minded people together as opposed to random swipes and hours wasted talking to seemingly normal men. Or men who seem normal at first then turn out to use curtains instead of bedroom doors in their houseshare. They made it very clear I had to try something else.

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