Author Archives: Robyn

Robyn Eats Everything simply loves having things in their mouth; from nipples and genitals to scotch eggs and Wispa Golds. They encapsulate all the very best of words beginning with P: plus-size, polyamorous, pansexual, and pleasingly pornographic. Robyn has been writing and showing-off since they were a teenager and, having matured into a 30-something highly-sexed exhibitionist possessing very little shame, started their blog as an outlet when even their very liberal friends became too scandalised to listen to any more graphic tales about their sex life. They take enormous pride in being gloriously lewd, inclusive, and queer in their writing and everyday life. As a plus-size goddess with a profound eating disorder and body dysmorphia, Robyn writes from the perspective of a fat person who loves porn, casual sex, and dating. Their aims are to represent the realities of eating disorders, smash the stigma surrounding fat people having sex and thoroughly enjoying themselves, and promote larger bodies being seen as sexual without being fetishized. When they're not writing, Robyn enjoys sleeping, going on hotel mini-breaks, and titting about on Twitter @robyneats. You can read more of their work at robyneatseverything.com

What’s in a name? Robyn’s magical mouth…

This fantastic essay about putting things in your mouth is written and read by the sublime Robyn of RobynEatsEverything, and it originally appeared on their website. Once you’ve enjoyed the smut here (as text or audio – click ‘play’ above!), click the link at the end if you’d like to read part two…

The first time I ever sucked dick, we’d just been to McDonald’s and it tasted like strawberry milkshake. It was actually my first time in a McDonald’s too; what a day.

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Fucking a stranger: Tell me what you need

This incredible story about fucking a stranger is written by Robyn, and originally appeared on their website – Robyn Eats Everything. 

The most intriguing guy had just walked into the hotel bar. I wish I’d seen him enter and watched his strong stride from the far end of the room, but my attention was on the bright laptop screen, freckled with coffee from an accident the week before. I’d rewritten the same sentence seven times even before my peripheral vision picked up his bright white shirt against the wood paneling. This weekend away was meant to break my writer’s block; all it’d done was break my bank balance in this bar.

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The switch: “Now, it was my turn…”

This fabulous switch sex story is written and read by Robyn of Robyn Eats Everything. 

I like it when an old fuck gets back in touch. They must have been reminiscing about me, my body, maybe what I can do with my mouth. They must have been feeling horny, feeling excited, feeling perhaps a little desperate. The first time round must have been good enough to merit a sequel, hopefully. Knowing someone is thinking about me that way, taking time over memories of me, is delicious.

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By myself, but not for long: my first sex party

This incredible story about going to their first sex party is written and read by Robyn of Robyn Eats Everything. It originally appeared on their website. 

“Are you here all by yourself? Well, you soon won’t be.” My first erotic story, written when I was 19 or 20, was about a woman who goes to a sex party for the first time, by herself, to live her greatest fantasies. And here I am, going to a sex party for the first time, by myself, to live my own…

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The pictures I send lovers

This gorgeous piece is written and read by Robyn of Robyn Eats Everything. 

Do you want a photo of me? Do you want a shot of my body, my face, my expression as I climax? Do you want something to look at while you’re alone, desperately wishing I was there with you? Do you want something to help you imagine touching me anywhere you want to? Do you want my body to be all yours, right there in your hand? Do you want a photo of me to wank off to, darling?

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